Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

9,961 Members
13,641 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Healthy Relationships Support Group

he's friends with his ex

BrooklynnMB
BrooklynnMB

don't know exactly why but his relationship with his ex makes me uncomfortable. we've talked about it before and I always feel better after but then I come back to feeling anxious and insecure. I don't think he's cheating. I do trust him. but they still talk and it just puts a pit in my stomach. I think about her and it drives me crazy. also I confronted him when she showed up in his favorites on his phone and believed him when he said he hasn't updated it but when there were no texts from her at all I don't know if I believe him that he deleted them just because his phone was full. him and I are together all the time. like I said I trust him. just something about their relationship makes my stomach hurt. I don't know what to do 

Lenoire
Lenoire
That's your gut telling you what your mind doesn't know yet. I think you need to walk away from this one. Any man who keeps a recent past girlfriend around, isn't one I'd be interested in dating. You want to be number one, but I sense you may not have the self-esteem to tell him to lose the girl or this girl gets lost.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
It does 'sound' like there might be some sort of attachment still IF he's regularly talking to her....
You wrote that there are no texts on his phone??.... Why are you going through his phone?

This doesn't sound at all healthy to me..... I would have a discussion and simply ask and then make a decision on what you want to do..... Regularly chats with a recent ex would bother me as well.... If they are still talking I think that he is still caring for her.....xo
Aronia
Aronia
I agree... something is up
sexysub56
sexysub56
I agree, something is wrong.
colleen2017
colleen2017
If they have a child together might be an exception. But I'm with everyone else I don't agree with guys chatting with ex's. The guy I'm with has a 20yr old son with his ex. He was fixing his sons car in his ex's garage. He came home and didn't have supper. I questioned him. He said he had supper with his ex and their son. I said isn't that weird? You wouldn't find me eating at my ex husbands in his house especially when I'm involved with someone else.
rmb
rmb
You said you trust him. By all accounts you don't. You don't go through someone's phone when you trust them. You don't feel sick over someone's ex when you trust them. You do that when you suspect something. I don't know if he's cheating or not. No one knows. I will say if you have no evidence but keep complaining about her, he's going to thing you are insecure. You'll actually push him towards other people. So you have to nip this in the bud now, by either accepting things or just being point blank with him and say couple don't stay close to exes. If he can't get there then you have to move on.

It's not unheard of to be friends with an ex although I see no value in it, unless you share a child, even an adult child.
Posts You May Be Interested In