I am 56 years old and the most difficult relationship in my entire life has been with my mom. She is a dry alcoholic. I go to Al Anon, and it helps a great deal, but sometimes I don't know when to forgive or when to draw a line. My dad has passed away and it is up to me and my alcoholic brother to "tend" to her now that dad is gone.
As long as I can remember in life, I have "tended" to my emotional, easily upset, never satisfied mother.
It is never enough. Emotionally she is a bottomless pit. And it wears on me....
She called me for the third weekend in a row today... needing my help. I dropped everything last weekend and drove immediately to her house and stayed 3 days. And she is in NEED again.. Why? bc her doctor has asked her to go see a gynocologist. Why? bc she had a side effect of bleeding to a medication / which is very typical and the bleeding has already stopped. But she still NEEDS me. It's never enough.
I went and stayed 3 days and she wondered why I was leaving so soon. ... it's always like that. But she won't come to MY house bc she doesn't have full reign and can't vent her emotions. She can't yell, scream, bawl and rant over at my house in front of my husband.... like she will when I am "alone" with her.
I'm weary to the bone. I'm so tired of it. After dad died, I vowed I would never again be a target to her screaming fits bc she is having a dry drunk day. She screams at me if I come on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas day... stuff that stupid. I just am so tired.
She started screaming at me on the phone today bc I didn't respond fast enough to her text and bc she NEEDED ME and I wasn't there... for??? Bc she's having a dry drunk. She always does in the summer when she isn't working.
I just hung up the phone bc I refuse to be screamed at. I refuse. I was screamed at all my life by her. And I am sick of it. I've told her this before... that as soon as she starts screaming, the conversation is over.
I love her but I am so tired.
Thank you for listening to my rant. I just do not want to be a part of the co dependent relationship that she HAS to have with me and anyone else in her life. I love her, but I'm starting to love myself MORE>
Does that make sense?
Working through the pain and confusion of traumatic experiences is the heart and soul of my own participation in support group therapy. As a child sex trafficking survivor, I got me a no-fucking-fair load of those. Since my attempts to just it all and rewrite herstory didn't work. . . Works in progress. . . Healing takes what it takes.In the live support groups where I have received the vast...
The parents of my grandchildren are divorce dancing. Dunno what the results of that drama will be, nor is it mine to sort in any event. Prayers in progress. The GK's (2 & 5) are in protective custody with the other grandparents and Hubs and I are preparing for our first week with them since the police took the children away from both parents. We don't know the other grandparents very well. We...