I saw your posts about her before. She doesn't sound like she's purposely being needy. It seems to me, that she has an anxiety disorder. Which is a mental health condition, that CAN be treated, but by a psychiatrist (not a regular ER doctor).

It is common for people with severe anxiety to think they have medical problems but no doctors can find anything (health anxiety/hypochondria).

And they also don't want to be left alone. She probably calls you in a panic, right? If she is alone?

The doctors can't find anything, because it is a mental health condition. Not a physical health condition, like a broken leg or something.

To me, this sounds all like severe anxiety. Something that she can get treated for. With therapy, and possibly medications. But a psychiatrist would have to diagnose this.

If it were me, I would help her to make an appointment with a psychiatrist (that's a medical doctor, so maybe she will agree to go?) and talk to the doctor about these symptoms and see what the doctor suggests. Assure her that there IS help out there, but that she will need to speak to a psychiatrist to help her to feel better.

All you can do is suggest, maybe offer to take her to the doctor..

But if she won't go, then please set boundaries and take care of YOU. It can be draining and frustrating for you.... it can be hard on friends and family to understand what the person is going through, or how to help them, all the while not feeling guilty.

There's also an Anxiety board on here, if you want to check it out.

She is in therapy! Which i am really proud of her for. But these behaviors dont seem to be changing. Ive been getting to a point that I feel exhausted by her and I hate to say that. I care about her a lot and I understand that a lot of this is anxiety. But it sucks to get guilt tripped every time I tell her no. It just feels very toxic sometimes, even though I know none of it is malicious.

I think you're right that boundaries are key. She is very much not ready to accept that her symptoms are from anxiety. Doctors have told her that she has anxiety multiple times, so has her therapist. But she gets very defensive unfortunately.

Maybe consider telling her how you feel when she guilt trips you? You can also change how you respond to her. Don’t answer texts quickly, don’t bust your own boundaries by saying yes when you mean no. She can moan and fret all she wants but when we cave in after saying no, we are teaching people we are pushovers. It’s not being mean to her, it’s being true to yourself. We can both have empathy for her mental illness and stay strong on our internal boundaries about what is best for us.

Thanks for saying that Hasty. Ive been practicing better boundary setting lately and this might be a good place to start.

Her emotional response doesn't need to be my responsibility.

I agree with what the others have written

Has she seen a psychiatrist?

Why is she getting angry if she's been diagnosed with anxiety?

I think boundaries are going to be important and I'd ask her why are you getting angry with doctor's diagnosis when you've gone to them for help??

Big hug...You've been a good friend however continuing to enable won't help either of you

This would be hard...xo

She’s in therapy but is she on medications with a psychiatrist? How can she afford to go to the ER all the time? I have severe anxiety but I also have been coping for a long time. I have been to the extreme where I had to take myself to the ER. It sounds like she is depending/using the ER to calm her anxiety. She needs to change her coping mechanism. You need to write her a letter explaining how you feel and if she doesn’t listen to that she probably also has borderline personality and I would break ties with her because she will not get better.