Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My husband had an emotional affair with the same woman before we got married. I think it lasted quite a while. Maybe 2 years? I posted other times about my suspicions but everytime I would confront him he'd get mad and deny and gas light me.
This past July I had had enough and I left him. It was then that he confessed. Since then we've gone to counseling together and apart.
He's changed. And he's remorseful. And he's trying really hard to gain my trust back.
But, I'm still losing sleep over it. Some of the things he texted and sexted to her play over and over in my head.
I don't know if I can forgive him? Should i?
-
Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
-
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
In a relationship I do believe in 2nd or even 3rd chances on a lot of things.but not with cheating. If he ever cheated on me. I'd be heart broken and I would leave and never forgive him and kick him in his balls.
When you cheat I feel its to late. You can never be trusted. My husband was in the military and was sent over to Iraq twice and he would be gone for over a year at a time and I never saw any other guys.
Know that his cheating had nothing to do with you.
Love yourself and focus on the gift of love you have, and gift it to yourself.
Remember you cant change him, any effort in attempting so will end in regret and hurt.
Dont let his story, walk or actions of defect negatively impact you.
Focus on your health, your spirit, your self love and remember to love yourself. Find the God of your understanding and know that you are loved no matter what. Use that love to build your strength and weakness in yourself and know what your values are.
You have a gift of life given to you, use it to enrich yourself and others, Showing those you love, that you love yourself and others will give you the empowerment to stand up for yourself and live the life you want.
Forgiving yourself is a powerful tool, forgiving others shows how strong and confident you are in your own love for yourself.
I pray you are safe and healthy
He did something wrong before you were married and it was sexy on a phone from what you've written ... He lied to not get caught
Are you in marriage therapy?... I think that you might need some help to get through this if you want to and if you love him?
Is the relationship important enough to you to work through it?
These are questions for you to perhaps ask yourself ??
Big hug.... I wish you well in your decision.... xo
You see, your marriage started on a lie. It continued on a lie. Some people can look others in the eye and lie and lie without remorse. Sometimes people only have remorse when they get caught. Sometimes we are their possession and the reason they want us back is to hide their imperfections from the world. Yet, other people need limits set and then they learn their lesson and straighten up and fly right.
You have to get educated about dysfunctional behaviors and perhaps get counseling for just yourself and figure out what you want. Look up narcissism and sociopathy and see if it fits your husband. If yes, be careful about going back. We don't have to keep giving someone second chances. Nice people often assume others are just as nice when truth is, they are lying to our faces.