Healthy Relationships Support Group
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For men, how important is a woman's salary to you? I'm interested in a guy that's a couple of years older than me and he's a dentist. Obviously having the almighty Dr. before his name is a little intimidating to me. I have a good job, but I definitely don't bring in nearly what he does. I've never judged a guy on how much money he makes, only if he has no ambition to move ahead. So, my question is if he knows I don't make much, would that be a deal breaker for a guy? Does it concern you guys or make you feel like you'd always have to support a partner? I can take care of myself just fine, but there's admittedly not a whole lot of fun money laying around afterwards.
"ShastaSue, exactly, both are just as superficial. Everyone has values some superficial qualities."
well, I'm glad you agree on that, a lot of people don;t....I've been round an round with a few friends of mine on that....
" But many women refuse to admit that they care about a man's social status because then they would no longer be in a position to bash men for wanting pretty women or young women. "
... so you think a guy who is proudly to brags and show off a girl (solely because of her looks, she is pretty, no matter her personality), admits that shallow?
I thought I should add, I've had more problems dating guys who are insecure about me making more money/ more successful than the other way around. I am ok with dating a guy, who makes less money than me (last bf made less than half that I did, not a problem for me, but it was for him).
A couple of my siblings have actually suggested I down play my education/ occupation, when dating..Not that I brag about it, I don't think I do? Nor do I consider myself that successful (kinda laughable actually). But I've found guys quickly get insecure about it, it is what it is...
"well, I'm glad you agree on that, a lot of people don;t....I've been round an round with a few friends of mine on that...."
Yes of course I agree that a person's physical appearance is a superficial quality, but that's NOT to say that I think it's wrong to be attracted to women because of their looks or to place high importance on looks in a partner. Same with women wanting a men with a prestigious careers, that's their preference.
"... so you think a guy who is proudly to brags and show off a girl (solely because of her looks, she is pretty, no matter her personality), admits that shallow?"
Generally yes these men probably do understand that valuing a girl for her physical appearance is shallow, because that is the message that we get from society. However, when it comes to women valuing guys for their career status, society frames it as not being shallow, for example suggesting that it is not actually his money or career status they are attracted to but their personality qualities like being "ambitious" or "responsible". That's a load of bs. There are plenty of lower class men with those personality qualities. The whole idea that anyone with those qualities will move up in the world is a myth, people generally stay in the same socioeconomic status they were born into.
I haven't been here long, and this one and the last post you made, which got closed, have been about the exact same thing.
Don't ruin someone else's thoughts with your pointed agenda.
I make a good almost six-figure salary. With my kids and debt load, I'm comfortable. New guy (yes I'm actually DATING someone) is far beyond that.
Far far beyond that....Like his car costs more than my house money. I did not find this out until after I started to like him and spend time with him.
He's told me "you will never pick up the tab when you're with me". I'm frighteningly independent and never want to be thought that I'm using him for this because I REALLY dig him. But I know I can't keep up.