Well. there are different ways to be unfaithful, and I know that some people think that unless they do the "deed", or meet the person face to face is not cheating, not me!
When you talk to a person in a chat room or over the phone, you are becoming intimate with that person in a different sense, and to me that could lead to much more... Besides, the time that your partner could be dedicating to you is been occupied by someone else, if that is not messed up, I don't know what is!

So IMHO a person that is in a committed relationship should not be flirting or talking to anyone else online, period!

chatting online about casual, everyday stuff like platonic friends is fine with me. I do believe men and women can be friends without anything more than that. However, if the online correspondence, phone calls or texts includes anything of a romantic, flirty, sexual nature...then its NOT OK in my book if the person is in a committed relationship. If this person feels they need to flirt with other women while in a relationship with me, then I'd kick their ass to the curb. Just my thoughts...

I completely agree with both hawklover and tipper.

I agree with tipper and hawk and I agree with eph's agreement :)

I've always felt, if they're hiding it -no matter what "it" is- male or female, pet, latest obsession, gambling, drinking, etc., it's "cheating" on our agreement to be honest and open. Even if they claim it's just cuz you are jealous. If I am in a secure, trusting relationship I shouldn't have to hide things like chatting- even light flirting, IMO. If me & my mate are going behind each others back to do anything, there's a problem .

And believe me, we got our problems, too, lol.

As far as open chatting, opnely, I'm like any other "partner" I want my share of his/her attention, too. If I'm cuddled up next to him while he texts a few polite words, I'm not going to be jealous. If he lets my head drop on the floor cuz he's completely spaced me out while wildly thumbing away on the phone, I'm gonna be pissed.

Hope this helps.

and how many times has a significant other heard the words "I never intended for it to go this far?"

I completely agree with the above statements. If it's not something that you would do in front of your SO, why would you risk the relationship by behaving that way?

It's the way it is now....it's a new age...the silicon age...technology is great....but with it...new problems.

Before the computer age....did you sit in your room for hours and hours and hours...staring at a screen and "talk" to total strangers?

You were outside the walls.

Did you flirt?

Did you cheat?

Does flirt = cheat....?

No....that's just my opinion (and you know what people think about opinions).

I think its playing with fire, especially if you are in a committed relationship but then I'm very old fashion.

there's nothing wrong being old fashioned

Reverse the roles...is it cheating than?

It depends on how much and what the content is. I caught my hubby texting excessively to a gal friend. We were not happy in our marriage and he was seeking advice and then there became more of an emotional bond to her. She was married too. But that emotional attachment was cheating in my book. I didn't have a problem if he was seeking advice from a woman's point of view on how to handle our marriage or see where I was coming from....that I could have handled. I got the texting thing settled this past month.

I know hubby has female friends at work and also in his vanpool, so I can't worry of who he talks to....as long as it was within the boundaries.

When I worked, I had male friends. I made sure it stayed within the boundaries and stayed off subjects that were getting too personal.

I have spoken to a few men here that I now consider friends.....if you asked me a few months ago, I would have said "no", I should not even talk to them here....but, I was able to see a different perspective on things regarding relationships/my hubby. So, in that sense, it helped me and it's all good.

But, to seek attention, to flirt, to live on the edge......that is not smart to go there.

I hope this made sense.

I think there is something going on with you if you need to chat online. Maybe you need to look at your relationship. Sure, no one person can be all things for you, there is give and take. But, sounds like a needy ness inside of you or something is not right with you and your partner. I am only saying this too, because I speak from experience about myself. Not being judgemental. Good luck.

Figured if y'all don't mind that I may throw my 2 cents in. I have fallen before into cyber-cheating. And yes, flirting, cybering, talking dirty to someone online other than your SO is cheating. At least that's what I believe. I've been caught in all the above, with my hubby being the victim, so been there done that. Since my past behavior has been so bad, now I am almost not to be trusted, but that's my own issue I have to deal with, since I crossed that line and I have to pay the consequences. I just hope that noone fell into the terrible world of cyber-cheating like I did. So learn from my mistakes....if the guy or gal is getting too personal/crossing the line, nip it in the bud IMMEDIATELY, or else disaster follows. This has been my experience. Hope that helps!

I have a hard time saying where to draw the line on this. Just talking on line is fine with me ... but I know if it got flirtatious I wouldn't be happy.

Ultimately, I trust my husband. If he was online and somone was flirting with him, he'd probably show me and we'd have a good laugh about it. Neither of us are flirts so that kind of thing definitely doesn't happen much in our world.

Hmmm, I kinda agree with krs. I have really needed different perspectives on my situation and many of the guys here have helped me immensely.

I've received good . . . no GREAT . . . advice from the men here and have tried it out on my husband. I have learned how to look at him differently as well as myself.

If you're asking about intimate conversations, well the field I work in is kinda different so "my idea" of intimate is not at al anyone elses. The other day, one of my guy friends thought one of his statements was off, but for me and what I have to encounter, I didn't think so. I hear and am exposed to alot.

I do have boundaries!!!!! I don't mind some statements but I won't necessarily return in like kind - if that makes any sense. I don't do cheating!!! I don't do lying either!!!!

I do question why in the world someone would have enough time to be online to chat that much? I mean seriously, do they not have a life? If someone is texting excessively, then they are abandoning their current situation for whatever reason.

As far as the flirting goes, I'm pretty careful with that one. I appreciate complimenting people both men and women and receiving compliments as such. Most guys are not flirty with me. I don't post the "breast pics" or the "butt pics." As such, very few guys want to talk to me or befriend me. I keep things on my end correct. I keep lots of people in the loop on my life etc. I stay accountable. I value my own character. I value my family, my life, and my actions.

So for me, chatting online isn't cheating.