It's pretty much like that guy who comes around here saying "No woman will like an older guy" different "flaw" but the same concept of a person wishing to control what there is no way to control and not understanding that every person is different and every person has different likes and dislikes.

I think it stems from an odd type of narcissism really. Being so fixated on having something to blame for their unhappiness, the superficial. obviously being short hasn't harmed Tom Cruise or Dustin Hoffman, but tell people with a flawed perception that, and they just refuse to believe it.

Why would you pretend you don't know he "suffers" from being short? He is short walking on eggshells about his hang up isn't doing him any favors. Print out a copy of the serenity prayer and post it to the bathroom mirror!

And what is he doing on a forum saying "No woman will like a short man" if he has a woman?? I would kick his butt for that! lol You are not a woman?

Actually he has a great chance with an insecure Tall woman because she has probably lived her life feeling too tall and wouldn't want to curse her children with height, so she will seek out a short man so she can have children who are societies idea of "perfect" ha ha

There is just no pleasing people who are hell bent on being miserable!

When he drinks does home pick fights with taller guys to prove himself?

In the work my H does he is considered short. I am sure that's why he always works out all the time... I wear high heels around him.. The first time he made a comment about it, I said what you don't like me getting looks because I look hot in theses heels? You are lucky to have the privledge of having my long legs wrapped around you.
No more comments from him

Thank you so much for replies. Talking to someone definitely feels better than boil inside of me.
@ShastaSue: he is actually 5ft8. I do not think he is short. I pretended not to notice his insecurities so I can compliment him without having him believing I do it because I know he is insecure. I wanted him to believe it is genuine, bcs it is genuine. The fact that he said that women don t like short men... I tried not to suffer too much about it. Deep down I hope that he meant most women don t like most short men, not talking about him. But I might be wrong, and a chicken for not wanting to see the truth.

@caliRN13: he doesn t pick fights, he is not abusive at all. He is more like inside suffering type.
I like the answer you gave to your bf. Smart. My bf is ok when I wear highheels too. But I am 5ft 4.
Also he is really sensitive so at times it is difficult to talk to him. When I asked him "are you concerned bcs taller women do not like you?" his answer is that I was trying to suggest him that he is not attractive and that I offended him. That tall women don t like him...

Actually it's my H.. Of 27years... He is 5ft 10 I am 5ft 9... He was approached by a football recruiter in college.. When they saw him up close they walked away.. 5ft 10 weighing 245. Apparently not big enough for pro football.
It scared him. He always make comments. I am actually not attracted to men over 6ft. Not like I run around with a measuring tape.

He is quite a bit taller than you. I don't understand what he wants. Can he do the job he wants? Does he want to be attractive by taller women?

I think everyone is focusing in too much on his specific issue. I don't think it's about the fact he is "short". It's not like if he grew 5 inches over night he would be mentally healthy and go on to do great things...

. On some level you must know that he has just fixated on this issue and it's the outlet he uses to channel his anxiety in general.

In answer to your question about trying to get him to stop going on a forum full of sad short people, I don't think that is your job. if he wants to go on a support forum for what ever reason, it's his business. how could going on a site complaining about being short, damage your relationship? are you afraid he will meet a beguiling woman who is 4'11 ? lol... anywhoo.. I would just concentrate on the fact that you enjoy his company and quit snooping. or cut him loose.

There's nothing you can do to make him feel better about himself. I mean, you're already WITH HIM, which completely negates his own assertion no woman will like a short man. What else can you do? He's responsible for his own feelings.

A 5'8" man says it's soul crushing? How about he try living the life of a vet who had his legs blown off or a woman who had acid thrown in her face by her husband or some other horrible thing some people have to endure. That is soul crushing.

Unless he has body dysmorphic disorder (which maybe he does because 5'8" isn't like crazy short in most cultures so who knows if his view of himself is grossly distorted) I would have little patience for this. It's almost like he's testing you to see if you'll leave. If you do, he can then say, see, I told you know woman would like someone short.

The relationship sounds exhausting.

And Shasta, I suspect you're right. The height thing is probably a symptom of other things going on mentally and emotionally for him.

He's 5 foot 8 and describes his height as as soul-crushing? Well that's got to be the most ridiculous thing I've heard today. What a cry-baby!

I am with you when you say you're afraid he will do something damaging to you and the relationship because of it. The denying and lying about the forum is a big deal. Not only is he insecure, but he's manipulative and self-absorbed, and that's a dangerous concoction.

I wish you well.

The real question is...

Is he ok with you snooping his phone??? Talk about insecurities...

@TexiCallie: No he is not ok with it. I am not ok with it. It is not like I feel I am entitled, no. I feel ashamed of doing it. And I thank God I am in control of this. I snooped for about 10-15 times in 1 year.
Reason is he stated that some thruths that he considers it is better for me not to know, he will definitely keep them for himself. And so my question was, is it fair for him to only tell me what he thinks it is safe for me to know?
Knowing that he might never admit something, but his phone will, it is at times difficult to abtain myself from wanting to check and get done with all the doubt.

And yes, unfortunately his insecurities created a few for myself. Such as, if you do not love yourself at all, how do you love me? If he doesn t believe in himself and doesn t believe he deserves or will get someone good for him, then what am I for him?
We had this chat yesterday, I will wait to see how it wil go any futher.

@ShastaSue: His appearance is ok. He is an attractive chap. I also, and that is why I joined forums and discussing about it, do not understand what his problem is. He looks masculine, Brad Pitt maxilla, good frame and works out, but he is 5ft 8. Yeah, I have no clue what his problem is.
About snooping or cut him loose, I definitely want to cut snooping. I made a deal with myself and tend to keep it as much as I can. Cutting him loose, the thought is painful, but it might be a solution. I will wait a month to see how will this evolve and maybe we will get a better look on our relationship.

@Betrayedintoronto: thank you. And I hope your nickname is just random. A deceived heart it s a tragedy.
I actually hoped that the reason why he doesn t come clean with the forum is because he doesn t want me see him less of a man. Simultaneously, I assured him of my affection regardless of his insecurities. I hope we will become opened with eachother