Hiya Artchick, I'm sorry to say I'm not familiar with your situation if I may I would like to ask a couple questions have you ever been married? How old are you? Have you ever been in a serious serious relationship? If your over 25 and you responded Yes to the last two questions. Chances are you know exactly what you're looking for and what you need to make you happy. If you're looking for that right person coming right out of the blocks you will find it much more difficult to do. I suggest that you become nonchalant and happy-go-lucky and enjoy your time being single eventually mr. Right will show up in the meantime don't put so much pressure on yourself.

yes I have been married twice (first one 10years, he cheated on me with multiple women) (second one for only a year then he left me to go back to his exwife). I am 44. I was a single mother. My son passed away in Feb from a burn accident. He was 14yrs. old. I know part of my problem is not wanting to be alone since my son passed. It has been a major adjustment. I have been in several serious relationships but the last relationship the man was not affectionate and never wanted sex and wanted more of a friendship. Then my friend saying he wanted to be more than friends but not meaning it has kinda messed me up. We were friends for over 3 years. My second divorce was 7+ years ago. I feel like I have dated so many guys off and on. Everyone says she such a nice person why can't she find a good guy. I'm sure I have given you way more info than you asked for LOL

If you have been out 4 or 5 times, I would think it a safe bet that he does like you....or he wouldn't have gone out with you a second let alone third.....time. I myself being beaten down time and time again (2 relationships prior to marriage just fwb. Iknow how unimportant and unworthy this made me feel.) Now the way things are currently with hubby ( and him reminding me with his teasing " and you think someone far away is gonna want to deal with you"? ) I know exactly how you feel. Don't ever consider yourself a burden.....and don't settle for a fill-in til someone better comes along. You deserve to find someone you can share everything with...good, bad, hopes, dreams, fears, celebrate successes, help each other through loss and grief....and yes feel affection and physical touch again.

I have been in a rough spot lately and coming to realize nice guys (and gals) not only finish last but alone. Hoping this (at least) is not the case for you. Good luck. :)

Thank you...i sometimes feel like I will never Find the right one that I can share all those feelings with and him with me.

I can't believe we can want something so badly when we are not to eventually find it. Hang in there. PS They say sometimes when we step back and don't look so hard for something.....there it is right in front of us. :)

I can totally identify with what you are going through....the doubt, second guessing...its horrible.
We are our own worst enemies sometimes. I think we can really spin ourselves up with the self-doubt.

The big one for me is this feeling that time is slipping away. Some days I don't think about it, others its a really sad feeling.

I agree I need to step back and just relax some and have fun...its just hard I guess. And yes I worry too much

What I've learned is you definitely don't want to overthink about each new friendship or it'll never turn into a relationship. I know that's so easier said than done at times! Also try not to compare every man with what your friend did to you; He's a knucklehead and should've just had the balls to tell you he didn't want a relationship from the get go!

The new guy sounds nice just try not to have the worries/insecurities creeping around. I almost did that one last time and almost lost my fiance because I'd ask him like everyday if he loves me 100%. Or I'd tell him I know he's going to leave me eventually,etc. It's tough but just go with the flow and have fun because you never know who's around the corner!

I'm trying to play it cool, relax and have fun...so much easier said than done...thanks

I’m a very firm believer in Karma. You will meet someone who is destined to make you happy. We are sometimes too scared and cautious since experiences can leave bitter scars and memories. It is difficult, try out a hobby where you have opportunities to meet new people. Not just for relationships but for developing and moving on. Always happy to talk offline

Sushil

Well he is being distant just like I figured would happen...i suck at dating/relationships

Distant how?

Sorry but destiny and fate is a bunch of malarchy. That removes all personal responsibility from the equation. Are you emotionally healthy and whole right now? If not, start there.

We choose who we invite into our life. If you are choosing based on need, to fill a void, out of fear or desperation, that is not a good place to start. We also choose who we hold onto and who we cut loose. If you invite turds into your life but don’t know they’re turds right away, shut it down as soon as you recognize them for the turd they are.

This is the thing I don’t get. Everyone is afraid they won’t meet someone, that time is passing them by and so they are just holding on to anyone they meet. Then it doesn’t work out and you’re back to square one, not with someone. So knowing that, why worry about stuff and just see where things go and just not pin every hope and dream on finding the one. Alone on your own terms with dignity and self respect in tact and at peace seems so much more desirable than this constant angst.

I am married. But I was single for most of my adulthood. Once I stopped giving a shit about trying to
meet someone and hoping each person I met was going to be the one, I became so much more at peace in myself, more content, more big picture, more confident. I became really really strong.

i think it makes sense to stop playing it safe, your gut is correct, after 4 or 5 dates it is fair to ask "hey do you think this is gonna go somewhere or what". It is time to say what you are looking for, you are being honest and open, regardless of whether the other person is looking for the same thing or not - you'll get a sense if they are being honest and open.
Don't waste time with anyone that is not honest and open.

So let me be a little more specific...he was being kinda distant....only texting occasionally, etc...just basic small talk..very short. So I just asked him while we were texting...i told him I liked hanging out with him but I was getting a feeling that he wasn't that in to me and wanted to know did he like hanging out with me and did he see potential with us dating...he said he couldn't predict the future so he couldn't answer my question. Then I told him I was just wondering and I couldn't predict the future either...thats the last I heard from him..that was several days ago. He didn't even respond with yes I like hanging out with you...ugg...and to respond to one of your comments yes I just keep dating one guy after the next like I'm desperate...i need to step back and not act like I have to have someone and probably work on my self...and I do pick "turds" alot of times just to have someone. Lol a character flaw I have