Hello Charlie. Welcome to DS.

My hyper-expression often causes me to dominate conversations. By the time I realize it, the people I talk to it are all to often shut down. The best damage control I've found for this boo-boo is to draw them back into the conversation by asking them questions.

This is one of the few places I've found where silence is NOT golden. Seems to me that when the biggest blabbermouth in the room falls silent, it usually just makes for a heavier silence.

Seems to me. . .

Gentle support while you figure what it is for you. Welcome aboard.

Congratulations!!! 53 years, you're doing something right.


Are there any changes in your wife's circle of friends lately? I'm just wondering if she's lost a friend recently, and looking for you to fill the empty space.

yes, your stuck in a loop, you might feel your wife is being over critical or a nag as some people call it, so your response is to clam up and be non responsive. To which will cause your wife to nag you more. so you are in a never ending loop that will go on and on until one of you had enough. communication and understanding is the cure. not by just you but her also, if she cant to you without being critical and judgmental, you will never try to understand her point. so talk and explain this to her. maybe talks will resume and she quits nagging.

"not responding to criticism too well"
wow, you are a champ
how does she respond to your criticism
or is she perfect
or do you let little things slide because that is what one does with friends

since you want meet her halfway or some-wheres like that, next time ask her to keep it to one thing - talk about the one thing - ask her what it about it that jams her up

Try and look within first. Is she asking you to be someone you're not? Is she going through a tough time outside of the relationship? (work, menopause, age issues, feeling not beautiful anymore) certain things can make a woman feel lost, or scared at any age. She is reaching out to you for comfort. It is up to you to determine what the real problem here is and how to make her feel heard.

My husband talks over other people and interrupts before other people can finish their sentences and some of this is his own self centeredness. He only wants to talk not listen (and he's a good guy!). I noticed my sister talks over other people too, and says too many sentences at once. If this sounds familiar, try to limit your sentences to 2-3 and then allow the other person to talk. If you are talking over other people, could you get your hearing checked just to rule out that you aren't hearing them?

Some people get defensive about criticism because they think being criticized means being less than. It is not. Other people get defensive and turn it back on the other person because they are self centered, self absorbed, immature or maybe even have no empathy.

If you are brave enough, ask wife what she'd like you to change about how you communicate. Tell her what you need her to do to change how she communicates. Some women say the same things over and over in a bid to have their feelings validated but sometimes men just can't handle this over and over stuff. Try repeating what she just said and name her feelings. My husband talks so much, leaving me out of the conversation, and says the same things over and over, that my brain goes dead. I stop listening when he makes things so complicated. Like with directions, he will tell me every turn from beginning to end all at once, taking 5-10 minutes of non-stop talking. I can't absorb all of this nor remember and I find I stop listening involuntarily. I have asked him not to do this because it overloads my brain but I think I will need to start reminding him again. He tends to get angry when I ask for a different communication style but reality is, I can't hear and process his long monologue so he's wasting his time. And the same thing would happen with anyone else talking to long and so detailed without pausing, my brain can't process.

Engage her in the next conversation. Ask her questions.