I was having a talk with my parents the other day about whyI have no boundaries, and the issues it has caused me.

I am wondering how this happens? How does someone end up with no boundaries.?

I can understand not having physical boundaries due to abuse.

I thought I read somewhere that it was due to parents not giving you moral and life guidance? My dad was the overly critical one I could never please. My Mum was the one who never gave me an answer to any dilemma I faced, always dodged it or changed the subject. I remember being really frustrated by this as I was growing up.

What reminded me of how my Mum was, was that my Dad was suggesting I follow her lead of non-confrontational distraction as a way of managing my Husbands lack of respect for my boundaries ( not that I feel I have any!)
This bought it all backthe lack of answers and guidance. My feeling is that I have no boundaries ( or very little) as I don't know what is appropriate or stepping over a boundary and what isn't.

They were talking about my Husband, who when we first met turned up at my house to cook dinner for me and my children. It was our second meeting. I let him. They ( my parents) were expressing why I didn't understand that this was odd behaviour and not fitting. I said I had no idea it was inappropriate, well actually it did make me uncomfortable but I let him get on with it anyway.

So a. I let people do things I don't like to avoid confrontation.
b. I am never sure what is appropriate or what isn't.

I think a lot of my troubles in my life have stemmed from this.

So whats the answer, how do I create boundaries and what makes someone not have them. ( or c. not respect them in others?)

Clearly it isn't possible to have an emotionally healthy life or relationships without them.