Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
So my bf of over a year finally seems to be admitting he has a problem. He has a doc appointment tomorrow and he said he is going to ask to be referred to a therapist for his anxiety. I've never rly had anxiety so I don't understand what it is. Can some of y'all explain your experiences? I still think he has some deep seated trauma or depression that he masks with anxiety, but I am no expert.
I told him today that it hurts that he won't open up to me but that he needs to talk to someone or it will eat away at him and only make his alcoholism and substance abuse worse. I told him I would be very supportive of him going to therapy and would be happy about it. He has done therapy before for PTSD, so he knows it helps. I'm considering going to someone myself about stress management and depression. I'm hoping we can both go separately and see if that helps, then maybe try going together if communication doesn't improve.
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
The exhaustion and depression is likely because you giving all your energy to your mom and boyfriend and none to yourself.
I think therapy would be awesome for you. I hope you do that for yourself.
What I am hearing a lot in your posts is that you are trying to fix him. This may be steeped in very noble intentions, but ultimately he is responsible for his choices. He is also fully responsible for his recovery.
That being said, it is very good news that he is going to therapy!
I think you have a good idea about going to therapy yourself.
It also sounds like you are not getting very much from the relationship. You say that he goes to party with his friends and doesn't pay attention to you.
It is very healthy to consider your needs as a girlfriend. If he is not meeting them, how long can you really put up with that? I certainly hope that he begins to improve, but if he doesn't? You already tried to leave, and then he manipulated you into staying.
Should you ultimately decide to leave this unfulfilling relationship, I hope you don't let him manipulate you again.
Remember:
You are not responsible for the problems and actions off your fully grown boyfriend.
YOUR NEEDS ARE IMPORTANT AND VALID.
You have no moral obligation to put up with this crap.
Take care of yourself :)
I bet that journaling and therapy will help you work this out a ton <3