Hello all. I'm really not sure where to post my story. There is so many categories it could fall into it. But here goes. First you should probably know that I was always very sexually active. I sort of feel like I might have became semi addicted to sex, with my ex while we were together. My ex cheated on me every other day with different women, yet I stayed, and he still managed to have sex with me at least twice a day for at least 2 hours at a time. The most was 6 hours at a time. Then we finally broke up and he's completely out of the picture. But that gives you the idea of what I have been accustomed to. Now I'm with my current boyfriend. He's in his late 20's. I love him. He's perfect for me in almost everyway. The first 3 months we had sex every Friday and Saturday night. Then we moved in together. First week we had sex every night, then just on Friday and Saturday night for the rest of the first month, then just once a week for the second month, then only once every other week for the third month, then once the fourth month, then no sex for 4 months, then sex once a month for 2 months, and now we're back to having not had sex in 4 months. I have not had sex this year. He has ED, he also has meds for that in which he refuses to take. He will not do anything sexual for me, he will not allow me to attempt to seduce him. He literally runs away from me. He tells me it's not me, it's him. Says he doesn't know what is wrong that he just never has any desire for sex. The absolute most he has done is slap my butt in passing. He says he isn't and hasn't cheated, it's difficult for me to accept because I've always been cheated on, but I've always been sexually satisfied in the time of it, and because I can account for my guys location at all times, I'm actually inclined to believe him. He's also an alcoholic, I've read that can also decrease sex drive, but my ex was an alcoholic too, and he never failed to please. And he swears he isn't masturbating. And that actually scares me. I feel like if he's not getting it from me he needs to be getting it somewhere. I'm scared for his sexual well being as much as my own. I've been self pleasing to the point of bruising myself. So now I've been spending money I shouldn't be spending on toys to counter act that. My guy is very vanilla, even when we were having sex, he's against toys, in any way shape or form. He hasn't and won't do anal. But he's terrific with positioning, and he's really good at what he does do, when he was doing it. Of course he has never lasted as long as my ex, but I am honestly okay with that. I just need sex. I need it to feel loved. To know that this relationship is going strong. He rejects any advances, makes excuses for why he doesn't want to try, or just flat out explains he is not interested in sex. I can not fathom this. How can anybody love somebody and not wanna express it physically? And what do I do? Stay in the relationship and just wait to see if it gets better? What if he never has sex with me, ever? I've never been a cheat, I don't want to get it somewhere else. I've tried changing my appearance. I've lost weight. I've got a thigh gap and my hip bones poke out. I'm an hourglass. I've got a D cup. I've got long hair. Ive glammed up. He used to say that me not getting everything done in a day was keeping him from sex. So I've managed to be able to have the kid in the bed early and the house clean and me in the bed even before him and he just climbs in and lays quiet. We're like bert and ernie. I haven't seen his manhood in so long I can't even remember what it looks like. He won't let me see it or touch it. He still talks of marriage. I love him so much but I'm hurting so bad from rejection. My anxiety is destroying me over this. I keep thinking he's either cheating or trying to leave or find a plan b or thinks I'm hideous because why else refuse me? I honestly don't anticipate him ever wanting sex again. And if he did offer I'm not sure what I would do, I sort of feel like being bitchy and declining, to give him a taste of his own medicine. But I'm so weak, I would probably just be thrilled. I am a rather boring person, except in the sack. But he doesn't want me in the sack, so instead he makes random jokes about me being a granny or tells me I'm like his mom. For about a month, over Christmas he complained with the way I did everything. I changed everything to how he wanted it. Still no sex. Hes not rich, im not staying for money, i truly love this man, but i need sex. Does anybody have any ideas or advise or anything?