I'm not sure just what you want to know lost??

I have been in a relationship with a narcissist before.... Never again..... The best way I can describe it is they suck the life out of you.... You don't really matter other then to do their bidding

If it's about sexuality again it would be all about what he/she wants.... What you want is irrelevant other then how it effects what they want

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/signs-that-youve-been-abused-by-a-narcissist/

I am just trying to understand why I continue putting myself through the misery I do in my relationship. And I have had many close friends and family tell me my husband is a narcissist but I have never understood what it was. If you read the other posts I have on DS itll give a glimpse into what I am referring to. I will check out that link

Narcissism is a personality disorder lost and they are slick..... The control is often over time and they'll to go back into the honeymoon stage when you've had enough of the BS
He won't change.... That is very highly unlikely and if you are done with him at some point you'll be replaced very quickly.... This isn't love
You need some help for you.... Please be safe
Talk with your doctor about this and see if you can find a therapist or a group to help you..... You've been traumatized sweetie that's why it's so hard and he'll try and court you againwhen you get really fed up
He may well be gas lighting you.... A of people with this disorder will....."It's not me... It's YOU who are the problem" and so on

gaslighting

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/gaslighting-a-slow-burning-emotional-abuse-tactic-0121154

Sexuality and narcissism

http://thenarcissisticlife.com/sexual-attitudes-of-a-narcissist-sex-and-the-narcissist/

I just saw what you wrote on the Breakup's board about trying to convince you it's all in your head... That's gas lighting.... Narcissists and sociopaths use this manipulation

When you are ready to leave please be safe.... I would talk with a Woman's Shelter for abuse for some safety advise

I know that it's awful and I am so sorry that you've going through this.... You can get through it though and get some help for yourself..... Huge hug......xo

Stages of a relationship with a narcissist ...... You need to get some help sweetie.... You can get through this..... I did.......xo

http://esteemology.com/the-three-phases-of-a-narcissistic-relationship-cycle-over-evaluation-devaluation-discard/

This is a story of 1000 pages, so I will summarize it. It is a parasitic relationship in which you are a source of whatever your narcissist needs from you. It is different for everyone , in my case it was financial gain.
In the beginning, he studies you very carefully and strategically hits every button that makes you fall head over heels. Once he has you, the fun begins. You are usually being used and abused and when you try to make any motion to argue or leave, your self esteem gets attacked so strongly that you start doubting your own sanity. If you start losing interest, he will turn back into the amazing person you met and reel you back in to the cycle of abuse.
He will tell you everything you want to hear to secure your loyalty, but his actions would be a complete opposite of what he said . If you question it, he will use excuses and even blame you for his shitty behaviour.
For example - me ex opened credit cards without my knowledge and then when I was irate that he ran up the cards he said : " well, you weren't making enough money and we really needed x, y and z. I can't get another job with my bad back! I m already working overtime.. don't I deserve to have x,y and z ? Plus, you told me you wanted these things too! "
Caught him going to see other women: " I can't believe you are questioning my loyalty! You are just paranoid and jealous because of what your ex did to you. These women are my closest FRIENDS and I knew them way before I knew you. Wouldn't I already have a chance to sleep with them ? I CHOOSE to be with you, but you are so insecure , you just want me all to yourself ! "
In reality, he was having affairs.

I can go on and on. You are always wrong, you can never win.

Thank you both for your responses. SunCloud, some of those pages I had already read which is what led me to ask the question on here. But the last one I have not been able to look at in great detail yet. The one that discusses about PTSD and confusion and feeling crazy describes me to a T. In fact I went to my psychiatrist a couple months back and told him that I was pretty sure I was crazy. He assured me that I wasn't but it doesn't help at all. Any and all arguments or discussions we have I end up coming out feeling like I was on the bottom. From the other day with my "huge list" of chores I left for 5 people to complete in 4 hours I realized that they truly don't care and he is the worst because at least my kids tried to do their chores. Then today he apologized when he picked me up from work because he didn't have time to do the dishes because he had a busy night with the kids. I just said ok. He then says "but I guess that's not ok" in a really snotty way and so I just said that I have given up on anything related to cleaning. To which he actually tried to start an argument. Or at lunch today, he wanted to have lunch together so I agreed. I however was scheduled to work a 4 hour evening shift at my first job followed by an 8 hour overnight shift at my second job so I ended up hitting snooze on my alarm too many times. I hopped in the shower but was running late so I just messaged him saying I would be 5-10 min late thinking it was the courteous thing to do an thinking he'd understand since I will be working long hours(I will add that I work at least 4 hours to a max of 12 hours each day from Mar 21-Apr 7 without a day off so I'm getting tired already). He said ok. But then when I got everything ready to leave my house he called and was upset I was so late because he needed to get home and change his shirt, something that he did not say before at all nor did he say he was coming home for lunch, and he only had an hour. So that turned into a fight that I sat there listening while he told me that I needed to look at him and how did I expect to work where I work if I cant look people in the eyes when they're angry/talking with me and he told me that I clearly didn't care about his limited time for lunch or I would have been on time. He then continually asked me how I could even say that I cared and that what I did was completely disrespectful. Then he threw it in there as well that he's having an awful day and I couldn't be bothered to even ask him how his day was. I apparently told him that he was inconveniencing me because I said that had I of known he was coming home for lunch that he could have made his own. Only point I was trying to make was that I barely slept last night(which is normal that I only get 3-4 hours cause my anxiety and stress is so high) so had he of made his own lunch id have been able to get some sleep......

I don't even know where to start in getting out of this or how to cope with things right now either.

Aronia nailed it with parasitic sweetie..... He is a parasite..... Even if you and your children had to go to a shelter it would be better then this don't you think??

Other then feelings for himself none other matter to him so it will never change without a very structured inpatient program and even then it's iffy as narcissists don't 'get it' nor do they care about anyone else

I will sometimes watch the Dr Phil show and I've heard him ask ...'when is enough, enough or is too much too much..... Maybe this is what you have to ask yourself..... gentle hug.....xo

Hey SunCloud. The house that were in is actually rented to myself only. For the brief time I did leave him last year I moved in. My landlady knows he is living here again but also knows the situation with our marriage.

Ive been asking myself thaf question actually a lot. And I have said it in other posts. When i am not around him I can think clearly and know I need and want to leave. But then when he is around my head is ao cloudy and I am so agitated and anxiety filled that I can not think at all. We have a mountain of debt and the vast majority is in my name. Bills past due in my name that he won't help with when I leave and I just feel like there are things I need in order first to be able to successfully show him the door.

Moving on it hard however staying is simply beating you down even more.... I would try and get a support system in place to help you through this

You also mentioned children..... If you have a son (s) he is seeing from his father how to treat a woman and if you have a daughter(s) she is seeing how women are treated.... This is being modeled for them.... Children for a narcissist are simply an extensions of themselves
Just another thought.... I think it's wise to have your ducks in a row sweetie and again be safe...... That's paramount ..... xo

I have supports in the sense of people to talk to. Its people to help me with babysitting/bringing kids to school etc that i lack the support. I am working on it though.

I have a 7 year old boy and a 9 and 12 year old girl. I want them to see proper treatment for sure. You have definitely given me food for thought.

Contact a lawyer, go to therapy and divorce him asap.
The way he manipulates you and blames everything on you doesn't sound healthy:
I would not be honest with him because you can't play fair with sociopaths - if he really IS one. I would make sure that this is it.
If he is, I would say : " My PTSD is so bad, I can't handle being in a relationship right now. I love you, but I neee to work on myself, I haven't been a good partner to you, I need a trial separation to help our relationship "
Get him away from you and then start divorce proceedings.

Aronia, that is kind of where I am at with it. Being honest and to the point does not work. And it just seems that he senses when I am at my lowest and closest to just looking at him and saying we're done that he adds in a little bit of guilt too. It could be my own guilty conscience knowing too that I am going behind his back and taking the steps I need to be free of the situation that makes it seem as such too though, I am not sure. I did speak with a co-worker yesterday about our counselling program that is offered through work so I am going to get in contact with a counselor asap. I think making it seem like the issue is me and not him will probably get him out the door easier then anything.....

Good. This is the best way to do this. Beware - he is going to get pissed off, so be careful what you say to him. He may be recording you as well. Avoid texting or writing anything because he can use it against you.
Write down only things that you want to be a part of your game.
It is sad that we have to scheme to get out of these relationships but honesty gets you nowhere when dealing with a sociopath