Sex is a big deal to me and three dates does not help me get to know someone. Someone paying is nice, but not necessary or a deal breaker. I consider texting while on the date rude, unless she has a sitter and is checking in, there really is no reason to be on the phone. In fact, it's not just rude on dates, it's rude when you are with anybody you are having a meal with.

Koolman, obviously it's not all about free food. My point was that you can't assume someone who accepts your date invitation is only doing it because you pay for dinner. There are other things that are better indicators of whether this person was actually interested or was not, like the texting during the entire date.

Yep. She is not interested.

I had a girlfriend for a short time until I fired her..lol
yea it seems like I hired her, she was always wantin to borrow money,
small amounts with promises to payback on payday 3 days away , $5.00 or $7.00 $10.00, payday comes n always an escuse not to payback..
She was too anxious to see me if I wouldn't 'loan' her money but she'd play the nice girl. I knew what was happening, so I slowed down on visiting/sleepin with her. sleeping true definition of it , lol is what we did except twice, but we always slept nude, I have since I was about 9 yrs old.
I heard phone conversations she tried hiding, I heard I can't he's here.. , after we called it quits as mates
1 day I went there her room mates said she's upstairs go on up...I find my friend Rick naked in bed with her which was ok sort of, but I said h , rick gave me a beer we talked a bit , I left..no big deal., , I cared for her as a friend, but later to Brenda...
I said no not Rick !!!!! Brenda you'll be sorry, he's only out for 1 thing & that's sex. it wouldn't surprise me if he had more diseases on his ''' than what are known to doctors.. He'll hurt you Brenda,
Brenda knew my parents, I wasn't easy to find out the time, . my mom said Brenda came to the house in tears looking for me..

there was a few others who I didn't mind spending money on, money shouldn't be an issue though..
like ppl said the txting, ignoring you thanx for the food dude.lol

My X wife was the #1 greediest woman I knew, it showed up after a year together. her Mom was # 2. lol

wow...texting during a date is a red flag and rude as heck.

In general, three dates is just that, three dates, nothing more than that. If you invite someone on a date, I tend to think the person who does the inviting should pay. I mean, if I invite a friend out to dinner, I always pay. That's old school but I think in terms of etiquette that was kind of a standard. If you become exclusive with a person you're dating, then there should be more parity in expenses. But with three dates, no I don't think that makes her greedy.

What makes her seem like a thoughtless jerk is she spends her time messing with her phone while out on a date. I will say with everyone tied to their cell phones, people have become terribly rude. So some of it may be she's just ignorant. Or maybe she's an asshole, who knows. The only way to really know what her deal is is to ask her straight out, hey, are you actually interested in this going anywhere, or if you take her out again and she's starts texting, call her out on it. If I were on a date and the guy I was with was texting while we were out, I know I'd say something to him. I don't know why people can't just be straight with the other person.

If it's a DATE, there's an expectation of sex or SOME kind of contact or connection beyond just being two friends occupying space. If it's just a friendship, or has the potential of just being a friendship, two friends can go out and each friend pay their own way.

Nothing for nothing. Nothing's free in this world. If the guy pays a girl's way for 3 dates, he's at least expecting her ATTENTION. If she doesn't want to give him her attention, then she should pay her own way, in effect buying her way out of giving him her attention. It's common courtesy.

Dude, it's just my opinion on the paying thing. I'm not saying it's federally mandated.

I get if you're out with someone you expect them to pay attention and be engaged. Of course. I mean, I think I said as much that it was rude to be on the phone, which clearly says she's not paying attention. She did kiss him, perhaps not passionately but a kiss none the less, on the lips. So there was some engagement that way. I know I'm not kissing anyone on the mouth if I'm not uninterested. But mysteryman is the only person who was there and so he'll have to figure out what are her intentions.

Look, I'm not arguing she wasn't rude or not attentive and if on a date, you should not ignore the person your with. My argument really is that there can be different views on who pays for a date, depending on how you were raised, or if you're traditional and so it's not always fair to assume a woman is just looking for someone to pay for a nice dinner and nothing else. Looking at dating like a business transaction, a fee for service thing, is kind of creepy.

The finer point to me though is that who pays or doesn't pay is irrelevant when it comes to actual engagement with the person you're on a date with and whether they seem like they're interested in taking it to the next level. If the date was a walk along a beach, and the person you're with is on her phone, it's no less rude and unattractive had she done it during a dinner you paid for.

mysteryman, good question. I'm probably going to get a bunch of fruit thrown at me, but I'm going to just share anyways from my experience.

My secret code of conduct and my own personal formula to getting a steady girlfriend is that I don't have sex until the 5th date. My current girlfriend said to me that she would never have been my girlfriend if we had sex right away. She would have just saw me as a douchebag or player. She said I did things the right way for her.

I would be willing to bet that she is holding out for the same reason. Sex is very easy to do. Holding out and waiting for true love is a whole different story. She probably is looking for some type of feelings and commitment before she would be willing to have sex with you. Oh, and don't forget that both of you should get tested for STDs before sex. Would you be willing to do that for her?

RE: " If it's a DATE, there's an expectation of sex or SOME kind of contact or connection beyond just being two friends occupying space.

This is why I ALWAYS offered to pay for mine or half the check on a date. I don't have sex for a the price of a burger. That's disgusting. If a guy doesn't want to pay for a meal, then go on a date where there isn't a need to buy anything. Geeze! Dates are how you get to know someone, not payment for sex

I like what lovemaui said in reply 25

I've gone on four dates with a gentleman very different than the type Im always drawn to....hoping to get it right this time. However, I don't feel the connection and I'm not attracted to him physically even though enjoy his conversations. I'm thinking to tell him nicely I don't think there is enough connection between us. Your thoughts ?

I think lovingmyself that if you are honset about it, thats fine. Don't let the guy think something is going to happen, when you just want to be freinds.

Geez, does this really require analysis?

Misred: I'm talking about a burger. I'm talking about filet mignon or another nice meal at a classy, upscale restaurant. And I'm talking date #3, not date #1.

Personally I think three dates is too soon for sex... However if she doesn't seem interested in you at all then ignore her and see if she reaches out to you maybe?