This is how I explain things to my daughter. Guys are dumb and girls are mean. In most cases, when a guy hurts your feelings, he has know idea what he did or why until you tell him, and then he still doesn't understand, but he pretends to. However, when a girl hurts you, she is most likely pissed at you and has every intention of hurting you. In most cases, but not all. Sweetie, you have come so far and worked so hard, so I don't blame you for being hurt and pissed too. You are amazing and such an inspiration. Let us know how the make-up goes. It'd better be good!

Love, Peggy "LAMom"

im sorry hun u r doin well keep it up

I'm really sorry that you are so upset about his unthinking remark. But.....have you considered that he was looking at the guy on TV and thinking about his workout and in his mind, he was comparing the guy's efforts to his own self? I suspect that he wasn't even thinking about that TV guy as compared to YOU. More likely, it was TV guy compared to himself. He may have been thinking about whether HE could have done that in six months....This is just a thought.

When you are calmer, maybe you can talk to him about what he was thinking and feeling when he spoke. It may not have been about you at all. You are a beautiful woman, and you've been a great inspiration to me with your positive attitude and your tremendous self-transformation. Surely, he recognizes the great effort you have made to achieve this success. (He's a man, but he couldn't be that dense!)

Hang in there, hon.

I recently had an argument with one of my daughters because I said that men are thoughtless insensitive fools. Truth is many men...not all....but many are idiots...it's why they make sitcoms about them....so we can laugh. I do agree that women can be mean...well of course so can men....but to give your guy a chance to redeem himself.....often it's just thoughtlessness.

I hope he makes it up to you....it's not fun having your feelings trampled. You've done great...I hope you get your diamond!

I think Peggy has the right answer..."guys are dumb and girls are mean..." He has been supportive through this whole thing, and supportive when you were fat - give him a little (not too much) credit against the current bad case of foot in mouth disease - maybe make him wash his mouth out with a protein shake!

Lin

You're being too hard on the guy. When I watch "Heavy" I also admire the effort put forward. I guess its just the drama involved with watching their story and all thats involved.
That being said , if he buys you chocolates, kick him in the nuts.

Haha Spidey, will do.

Thanks all for your kind words.. we all know how hard we worked, as well as our loved ones should. I felt like I'd been slapped in the face and reacted very badly. I've slept on it and am still not happy with what he said, but now maybe I'll let him make it up to me.

Stay tuned...

Krista

I think a lot of people have this concept that "poof you have surgery, no muss no fuss and you're cured" they don't know about the personal effort until educated although if you're exercising as you should he should notice that

My dearest Krista, really, you know how dedicated and how much hard work you have done. I (we) as a group are so proud of you. You are an inspiration to us all. People do not understand the struggles that we go through with this surgery. You look fantastic, your are healthy. Your hard work shows. Remember we love you and respect all that you have been through. Here is a great big hug for you. I am here it you need to talk. Message me if you want my phone number.
Always your friend,
Altheia

Well, I gave it some thought and chalked it up to 'foot in mouth' disease. He apologized to me again this morning and I decided to forgive him, let it go and move on.

I'm still hurt by it, but am going to try to forget about it, because I know he's been there through my entire process and knows how hard it's been and how hard I've worked and continue to work, and he didn't mean for it to sound the way it sounded. Like many of you said, guys are stupid. lol

I apologized to him for reacting so badly, also. But also explained that I can't control the way things he says make me feel sometimes. I was genuinely hurt in that moment, and I still feel that way but I will try to get over it.

Krista

Dear Krista, I am glad you are moving on from this. Yes, guys are "OMG" just don't get me started! Anyway, this guy has been with you before surgery and still hanging there. I am glad you decided not to judge him on the last studip thing he said or did.
You are my inspiration and I know what it takes to be in our position. He knows too. Like everyone has said, I don't think he will make this mistake no time soon. I like the diamond thing, too.

I was pretty upset a couple of weeks back (all the stuff I've been going through personally w/ the bouts of anemia spiraling out of control) and I had to hard punches thrown at me recently. I was complaining about my skin and my husband had the odesity to tell me I should've joined The Biggest Loser show and after I was told I couldn't have more children I came to find out my sister is pregnant and my mom tells me that was my own fault for having this surgery.
As much as it hurt (and I cried like a little kid) I've also learned that people are ignorant.
You know that I always have your back but it seems like he got caught up in the moment and severly stuck his foot in his mouth (he may need surgical removal after you are threw with him Im sure...lol).
You know you do not have to justify yourself to anybody but yourself. You of all people know the struggles, the fight, the tears we shed, and how hard this is.
Those shows (Biggest Loser or Heavy or Celebrity Fit Club, and so on) are just a hype for tv. No one can quit their jobs to work out for 8 hours a day. You continue to fight your battle and stay strong. You are a beautiful and gorgeous woman and no stupid comment like that is worth your tears.

P.S.
The ball is in your court now chica so you make sure you get that diamond....Lol

Love ya Krista.

Krista,

I know of a great podiatrist who could probably help your man extract that foot outta his mouth! ;O

In the interium I'm glad to hear things are on the mend between you two. I'm not sure what to say since it was a pretty insensitive comment to have made especially since he's been by your side thru the whole process!

But one thing I do know... Dudes are different man. I'm sure that regardless of what and how he said it, if he could've thought for a moment he may have made a similar comment only with a different inference due to watching you go thru this process and acknowledging that NO weight loss comes to anyone easily regardless of how seamless the transition may appear.

Also, regardless of being by your side this has been your path and despite a stricture along the way and other challenges you have had to face, you may have made it look 'easy' to someone who may be watching you but not participating/actively engaged in the process themselves, ya know? He probably could relate to the dude on the show in some guy way which made it more 'real' to him than having surgery... who knows man ;)

It is YOU who has been of great support to me and others and it's mostly because you can identify with us on so many levels due to sharing this weight loss path and for that THANK YOU!

: )

Colleen

p.s. I agree with Spidey and if he brings you chocolates, make sure you're sportin some steel toe shoes when you kick 'em :)

I love you guys. :)

Krista

You know it is all about context toosometimes things we (men) say are not what others hear. For example the other night .in the most kindest, respectful and loving way I asked my wife to STFU and get out of my life. For reasons unknown to me she got upset and I cant figure it out. (oh geez, I am kidding would never say that, at least not if she is anywhere in the same state as me,ha).

But guys do relax our brain when around loved ones and these brain farts do come out. I wish you all the best working it out.