Gastric Bypass Surgery Support Group

Gastric bypass (GBP) is any of a group of similar operative procedures used to treat morbid obesity, a condition which arises from severe accumulation of excess weight in the form of fatty tissue, and the health problems ("co-morbidities") which result. If you are considering gastric bypass or have had it, join the community where we share our experiences and find support.

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krimicri 02/09/2011

I'm so unbelievably upset right now.

My boyfriend and I were watching "Heavy" on A&E and the guy lost 100 lbs in 6 mos, and he was like wow! I said I've lost 128lbs, how come you don't say that about me? And he said he had a trainer and worked hard.

I was floored when he said that, and obviously offended.. I am so upset and in tears right now at what he said that I don't even know what to do with myself. And all I can say is it was ON from there.

I'm a teary mess and I am so disappointed in him right now that I can't even say. He has a habit of opening his mouth before he speaks and he could have said he slept with my best friend and it wouldn't have hurt as much as what he said to me tonight after thinking he was one of my biggest supporters over the last 15 months. He keeps saying he didn't mean it.. but he said it.. you know the saying.. many a true word is spoken in jest. And this wasn't even in jest.. just fucking stupidity. I'm astounded.

I am so umbelievably hurt right now.

FML.

Krista

hope81026 02/09/2011

Awww Krista it's Ok, your Boyfriend has Hoof in Mouth Desease.
It affects mostly men and is not contagious.
You need to have a good talk with him and refresh his memory about how hard this has been for you (although somehow I am sure you have)
Sometimes people just don't think.
I think you should forgive him.
It's not likely he'll stick his hoof in his mouth again any time soon. Hugs Hope

deleted_user 02/09/2011

im so sorry for your pain....it breaks my heart to read this after everything you have done to get this far....the road you took was just as hard.....im having a hard time myself just preparing for surgery next friday....i have no words to console you in this horrible moment accept that i am sorry he hurt you

i am happy that i am single (by choice)

deleted_user 02/09/2011

Well for starters the guy might've lost 100 lbs but has a 97% chance of gaining it all back.

Two, guys are stupid. That's a given. I'm not sure how he could've said that and meant it if he was there thru this process because there isn't a single thing that's easy about it.

I hate that we are all indoctrinated from a young age that being fat is because you are lazy and blah blah blah, and the only way to get rid of it is to "succeed at a diet plan." Most of us have succeeded at diet plans, it's the keeping it off that's impossible.

How long have you been dating? Is this the only time he's said anything that hasn't been supportive? I wouldn't throw the relationship away, but there would be a serious "Come to Jesus," talk.

deleted_user 02/09/2011

Oh, Krista ,honey you have worked so hard, you have been your own trainer, guys are clueless sometimes, maybe just because it was a guy, he thought it was so cool. I don't know,but I do know one thing my gorgeous husband thinks you are smokin' hot, so we all know how hard you worked and I am sure he knows too! Please try to keep the perspective , you know deep down he really is proud of you, sometimes guys just can't help being guys. no offense to all the men out here, I love men, But lets face it, Women and Men think differently.
hugs to kiddo,
your friend Rhonda

krimicri 02/09/2011

Hope, I think you're right, that after tonight he won't make the same mistake again, seeing how it affected me.. so I guess it's up to me now whether or not I can get past it.

He has a HUGE case of foot-in-mouth disease, but it usually doesn't affect me so profoundly. I know he feels bad, but I feel so awful right now. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wants to forgive him, but if that's really how he feels.. you know? I will never really know.. It's easy to say I didn't mean it, but if you don't mean it why did it come out in the first place?

Krista

deleted_user 02/09/2011

Men can be total jack a##es! He probably didn't even realize he was being offensive. Guys are so into the big workouts and crap they don't even think about what it takes to lose weight and keep it off. I hope things work out the best for you...whatever you decide.

krimicri 02/09/2011

we've been together for 6+ years, which is why I'm so surprised at his diahrreah of the mouth. In 15 months he's never made any comment similar to that, which is why I guess it struck me so profoundly. I'm guessing that after tonight he'll never make the same mistake again. It's just that I thought he 'got it'. And I'm not sure that he really has.. Yes he's reaping the benefits, but does he really 'get it'? He still makes the fat jokes, etc.. and I'm like Is that what you used to say about me? And he says no, but now I wonder....

deleted_user 02/09/2011

I am sorry Krista..
That really sucks..
you worked your ass off, and I am sure he knows it

deleted_user 02/09/2011

Being one, I know men are stupid. Yet, that was a whopper... Move forward at your own speed and best wishes. Work hard? This ain't easy...

hope81026 02/09/2011

I know Krista, sometimes men are just impossible to understand
A woman probably just wouldn't have said that (just sayin...)
Only you know him and know his intent, so it;s up to you to decide to forgive him or not
However if you have read my posts you know...personally, I would send him out to the garage (kidding) .
I am sorry this hurts you so much Krista but it sounds as if you know he didn't really mean it at all. He was just thoughtless tonight.
So sorry sweetie, Hope

krimicri 02/09/2011

Thanks, Hope. I am sure he's sorry he said it (now, after my reaction to it), but another good point why you should THINK about what you're saying. We'll see. I'm not letting him off so easy, the asshole. Right now I'm pissed, so he gets what he deserves. Valentine's Day is Monday.. I better get a fucking diamond. lmao! Cause he has some SERIOUS making up to do.

hope81026 02/09/2011

Hahahahah... so it's the garage until Monday and he needs a diamond ring to get back in the house.
Works for me!
Krista, Your a girl after my own heart ; )

deleted_user 02/09/2011

Here's a thought: tell him that if he REALLY wants to see for himself what it's like, he can try to live through just one little piece of what you had to go through -- how about if he goes on a 2 week all liquid diet. If he's game, my bet is he won't last more than a couple of days. Perhaps after walking just a couple of babysteps in your shoes, he'll start to truly appreciate what you've done.

deleted_user 02/09/2011

the guy had it easy.. at least he had a trainer.. having to do this on our own is a LOT harder.. men.. go figure.. sometimes they just ain't right... most of the time to be honest. I could write a book of all the stupid stuff my husband says.. I have lost 51 lbs in 2 months and 1 week... know what he said.. "well if you are going to lose a 100 in six months you are going to have to get with it" FOOL... pissed me off too.

deleted_user 02/09/2011

what everyone else said!

joining this thread late.. Krista, you already said what i was going to say...

Buddy, you better come begging forgiveness with jewelry in hand!

You rock Krista!

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