So 2 days ago I had lost a relatively big amount of money gambling. Yesterday when I woke up I told myself I wasnt going to gamble anymore, The day goes on and im still telling myself not to gamble. Once I get out of school I call my bookie and place a bet to try and win back the money I lost the night before.
Of course I lose my bets and end up falling asleep out of my depression for actually betting when I told myself not to. I wake up, middle of the night in my sweat, cant go back to sleep because all I can think about is how much I money lost and how much it hurt me financially, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and heart. So I decide to search the web for ways that I can get over that terrible feeling that comes from losing money while gambling.
I stumble upon this website and read a bunch of posts on gambling, you guys made me feel like I wasnt alone and that I would be able to get through this dark time. I end up falling asleep. This morning im telling myself that im going to fight through this addiction and start a road towards recovery......I end up calling my bookie 5 minutes before the game starts and placing a bet. Of course I lose again.
So today I decided to join and share my story because I need HELP with this addiction, it is ruining my life. I lost my social life, I dont have the energy or will to excersize anymore, all my money goes to gambling and ive lost all sense of what my priorities are. I just want to stop before its too late. (PS. I wonder if I would be here had I won tonight and sorry for the long story lol)
This time of year can be "slippery" for me. I'm starting to feel vulnerable because of the strong feelings and memories, both joyful and sad, that always come up around the holidays, not to mention the extra stress from the out-of-control consumerism, unrealistic expectations, crowds, traffic, etc all around me as the season ramps up. I'm posting to remind myself to breathe and remember that...
I am feeling sorry for myself tonight. Yes, i went on a bender at the casino and lost our last $200. I am 43 and have no money. I have two kids, who have tons of stuff, nice clothes, don't need for anything. I just hate that it's another Christmas that i don't think I'll bother with a tree as i can't afford it and there is nothing to put under it. My husband has had a trucker license the last...