So 2 days ago I had lost a relatively big amount of money gambling. Yesterday when I woke up I told myself I wasnt going to gamble anymore, The day goes on and im still telling myself not to gamble. Once I get out of school I call my bookie and place a bet to try and win back the money I lost the night before.
Of course I lose my bets and end up falling asleep out of my depression for actually betting when I told myself not to. I wake up, middle of the night in my sweat, cant go back to sleep because all I can think about is how much I money lost and how much it hurt me financially, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and heart. So I decide to search the web for ways that I can get over that terrible feeling that comes from losing money while gambling.
I stumble upon this website and read a bunch of posts on gambling, you guys made me feel like I wasnt alone and that I would be able to get through this dark time. I end up falling asleep. This morning im telling myself that im going to fight through this addiction and start a road towards recovery......I end up calling my bookie 5 minutes before the game starts and placing a bet. Of course I lose again.
So today I decided to join and share my story because I need HELP with this addiction, it is ruining my life. I lost my social life, I dont have the energy or will to excersize anymore, all my money goes to gambling and ive lost all sense of what my priorities are. I just want to stop before its too late. (PS. I wonder if I would be here had I won tonight and sorry for the long story lol)
In 2011 I got married after being a widow for a while..... A few months after we got married, my new husband suggested we visit a casino about 1.5 hours away. Until then, I didn't even know there were casinos that close to me, because I had never been in one. I remember that first trip very well. Between us, we spent about $60. Fast forward seven years and we both are full...
I can't remember the last time i had real hope, there were days i wouldnt gamble and weeks and months, but i felt like i was white knuckling it...i joined GA and the urges stopped, can't explain it, i think MAYBE what i got from slots emotionally, they give me.....otherwise, or not...it's my higher power - I have prayed to God a billion times to take this away from me....and nothing changed....i...