Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Ineverwonanyway 02/19/2018

I freaking love the casino...when I'm on my way there I am in such a euphoric state. It's awesome. I play loud music in my car and sing along at the top of my lungs. I'm kind to other drivers...please go ahead of me...thanks for letting me out...big old smile on my face. Walking into the casino, a big smile for everyone. Holding the door for others, resounding wishes of "good luck" to all I see. The smell of the casino, the sights, the sounds...heaven. I kid myself that I'm only gonna use my free play, and maybe a a couple of bucks more. That's all, then I'm heading home. I swear.

So, I download my free play and completely zone out. Maybe I win a few bucks, but it doesn't matter because I'm gonna just gamble it all away. Free play gone, I reach into my wallet and grab a $20. I'll leave as soon as this is gone...I swear. And maybe I win a few bucks, but again it doesn't matter because I'll just keep playing til it's all gone. So maybe now just another $20, then another, then another. Guess what, I've used all the money I took out of the ATM and have reached my daily withdraw limit. No worries, I'll go to the cashier and grab a cash advance. Just another hundred, well maybe two, well no how about five. And now hours and hours have been spent at the casino, I've not only used the free play but have lost hundreds of dollars. When there's no more money to withdraw, I sadly head to my car, fighting back the tears. Please don't let me cry until I get to my car. Once in my car, the radio still blaring as a sad reminder of how excited I was when I arrived here hours ago, the tears flow. How in the heck can I keep doing this to myself? That money was not to be gambeled away...it was for bills, groceries, medicine, etc. What the heck is wrong with me? Am I not more intelligent than this? So for several miles home, I drive in silence. No radio, no singing, just the sound of me repeatedly asking myself why I do this, why am I so stupid. The further and further I get from the casino, I have convinced myself that this is the last time, this won't happen again. So I start to cut myself a break and feel a little better, maybe turn on the radio and listen to a talk show. I arrive home feeling OK. Certainly this won't happen again. I'm much more responsible and smarter than to let this happen again! No worries!!

Guess what...this is probably the hundredth time this scenario has played out. I just got home a little earlier from the casino, where I took my last $100 and gambled it away. I was up several hundred dollars...couldn't leave...that wasn't enough...so I gambled that all away too. Wasn't even sure I'd have enough gas to make it home. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

So some have suggested self excluding. I've asked this question before, but can't find the thread on which I've asked it. I am not convinced that I will stop going to the casino even is I self exclude. What happens if I self exclude and continue to go to the casino? How would they even know I was there? And absolutely no offense to anyone who has self excluded and successfully stayed away...but to me it's just not a strong enough deterrant. Oh I am an absolute addict, it rules my thoughts and my life. I just don't kow what to do. Thanks for "listening." Wish I could say today I will not gamble, but I've already blown that.

determined23 02/19/2018

You just wrote my story almost word for word.I am still pretty new here and don't have great advice but we must stop the madness.I haven't gambled in a couple of weeks because of the amazing advice on this site and I stay so busy I will not let myself think of gambling it consumes my thoughts if I let it in.We can do this you are not alone.

Qwit4Good 02/19/2018

"Hopeless, helpless, I can't stop". This says it all. I have been where you are. To the point of malnutrition, near insanity and nearly the end of my life. Getting myself to treatment and working a program like I was fighting for my life. Doing anything and everything suggested saved my life. It was still 2-3 weeks after starting treatment before I could get stopped. I had to put a lot of work into root causes of my addiction. (Childhood abuse, unresolved grief, loss of self) It is doable. Do whatever you can to get between your money and gambling. Come up with other plans to do something besides gambling. Enlist any friends you have left. Counseling and GA are a great combination. Nothing works over night and there is. no cure. Knowing that, there are ways to live a fulfilling and joyous life with some peace of mind, we can abstain.
You might want to call 1-800-522-4700 (national problem gambling help line) you can find out what your state subsidizes and where to get help. My state pays for counseling for gambler and their loved ones. Private counseling is always an option. Deciding you want to do something besides gamble is a big step, even if you are not successful immediately. If what you are doing isn't working, add to it, change it, keep at it, don't give up.

yes2recovery 02/19/2018

My story is much the same, so I totally get where you are. Self-exclusion is working for me because security uses facial recognition and other techniques to keep track of who's playing and to alert the dealers, floor staff, and security. If I am caught on the property of any of the places I used to go - even in the parking lot - I go to jail. So maybe there are loopholes there somewhere, but I'm not willing to risk it. There's great relief in physically not being able to follow the old routine that you described so well. It takes time - lots of time - away from gambling to get our dopamine levels back to normal and allow our brains to begin healing. I won't say it's been easy staying away, as I still get urges and I miss many things about gambling. Many days I have wished I could jump in the car, crank up the tunes and go...but I value my life more, and I'm learning how to make it better without gambling. For several years I listened to others talk and post about self-excluding and thought, well, I'm glad I don't need to do that, I'm smart and capable and surely I don't need that kind of crutch...and yes, I was kidding myself. For me, self-exclusion has made the difference between relapse and recovery.

healing57 02/19/2018

I agree with yestorecovery. I self banned and it keeps me from going. I absolutely would not risk going to jail. Sure there is a chance you could just walk in and play and not get caught but #1 you never win so why would you and #2 if you did win you will have to use your I.D. to cash out and claim your prize. Then you are caught. You cannot get someone to claim your prize for you because the cameras check everything out. In my state if you win a jackpot and you are banned not only will you be arrested, you don't get the money and you still have to pay the taxes on the jackpot. It's a lose, lose, lose situation. I have a friend who banned herself and kept going. She thought it was exciting. Of course she always lost so for awhile she was under the radar. But then they tightened up on security and caught her walking in the door. They called her by name, they knew her name, and they said they would give her one warning and if she ever came on the property she would be arrested. There is so much freedom in self banning. The minute you do it there is a thousand pounds lifted off of your shoulders. You just can't go anymore. It's not an option. And then you begin the work of recovery. And if you go anyway you will eventually get caught and arrested and have to deal with the humiliation of someone bailing you out, which in my case there is no one who would do that. Everyone was so fed up with my gambling they would not bail me out. You could take a friend with you so you don't go in and have one more go of it, and go straight to security and tell them you want to self exclude. I promise it is the best thing you will ever do. It will keep you out of the casinos. In my state if you self ban in one you are banned from all the casinos in the state and even some in the surrounding states. There are times that I really want to go but the closet one I could go to is 2 hours away and I don't want to drive that far so I don't go. Sorry this is so log I just really believe in self banning.

newlife67 02/19/2018

Everything you have said was me, I have gambled away a college fund. I make good money but live as if I only make minimum wage. Your story is my story and I had no choice but to ban. I went to ban and lazy people who worked at my he casino talked me out of.. 10k later and no hope left I went to another and found a nice young lady who took me to the office where I excluded. This was only 4 months ago. But let me say it has been the best 5 months in a long time.

You mentioned getting caught if you exclude. They use face recognition, license plate scan and other techniques so because I am addicted I have thought about sneaking in but it’s not worth it. I have a good job I’m enjoying having a few dollars in my bank and what’s use if you go in, you may not have one any other time but you will probably win and they will take your jackpot and whatever money is in the machine and for me that’s a big fear that I use to my advantage to stay away.

My only disappointment is that I didn’t do it sooner. i convinced myself that I can’t exclude because my cousin workers would want to go and I couldn’t but now I don’t really care I’m just so happy I did.

I waited 5 years to exclude and because of that I have over 1,100 a month out of my check each month from loans from 401k and bankruptcy.. I hate that I allowed myself to get like this but I’m glad I stopped. Better late than never they say and it rings true. I’m giving you the raw truth because it’s gets worse if it doesn’t stop.

That’s was my little reason why self exclude may work.

itsjustmeagain 02/19/2018

everytime you get an urge to go, i suggest you read that, it's all very familiar to us

you only have one defence - under NO circumstances do you tempt yourself, cause once we are in the VACUUM, its over, we fade out and the addiction takes over

ban, or really put a hold on all your ability to get funds, do anything ahead of time to put roadblocks in place, we cannot trust ourselves unfortunately

johnnyboy1960 02/19/2018

I've been down the same road hundreds of times. Maxed out all my credit cards Spent every last dollar in my checking account and over drafted my checking account by $1000. My bank allows me to do this although the money has to be paid back right away plus $35 for each withdrawal. I could sign off on it so it no longer allows me to do this and I probably will in the near future, but what I've done so far which has been a big help is I gave my bank card to a relative to hold 3 months ago. It hasn't stopped me from going yet unfortunately however now I only go with a hundred dollars and whatever bonus money I have. So I can't do any real damage to myself. And I'm forced to leave and go home when the $100 is gone. And you know what this has put such a damper on my old ways that now I'm starting to lose interest in going at all and I think I may be stopping soon altogether. I hope this tip helps you out. johnnyboy

Getting_Out 02/19/2018

I read what you wrote and it sounded like me when I used to go. Don't ever think your alone because your NOT. Not sure where you live but once you bar yourself (as we call it here in Canada) you can't go back without them stopping you. They know your face and if you do get in by some chance....and you win. Well ..u can forget about that because your not getting it....so you might as well stay home. I find it strange that once your in there.....you play ...then lose.... then reach for more money ......lose again ... and how you can't just walk out without losing every cent you have. It's the drive home that I really hate ....and I used to say the same thing over and over ....NEVER again. I quit the end of November .....went back once ....but picked myself back up and have stayed away. It feels so much better not going....you have money in your pocket and your not kicking your butt. You just have to find things to do. You have a car so get out there ...go for a walk, go to the park, go shopping.....go anywhere ....just not to that place !!!

Getting_Out 02/19/2018

PS ...What I meant about finding it strange ...in case you or anyone else misunderstood me.....is how the casino sucks us in to draining every cent we have .....no matter what our good intentions are. The casino doesn't have to fight with us ....or argue with us ....or persuade us......we just freely give our money to them. That part boggles my mind.

Ineverwonanyway 02/19/2018

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and words of encouragement. One day at a time, right? My best wishes to you all.

Singer 02/21/2018

Turn your money over to a family member. One day at a time.

Wandering 02/22/2018

To Ineverwonanyway as others have said "You spoke of my life" How easy it is to be euphoric on the drive there and absolutely crushed leaving it. I also was like that and also self-banned.

How do I stop from going back? Imagine being hauled out and losing the money in that machine, plus being FORCIBLY taken to a secure place where you're held till the sheriff arrives and then taken out in cuffs.

No thanks, that's not for me. I know that as I have seen and heard of it happening. In my case, it's only as good for that place since there's other places I can go.

That's where GA and adherence to their spiritual principles take over and help us. There's tough times for us ahead, but being willing to say "Help me get over this feeling of wanting to gamble" and it's freeing our souls to once again rise and shine for all to see.

The money? IT IS GONE! LEAVE IT! FORGET ABOUT IT! Today I will NOT gamble. Just for today. That's all I say and that alone helps immensely.

deliaberg88 02/25/2018

love yourself, hate casinos
the casinos are out for every dime you have, savings retirement, salary.
etc.
the casinos do not care, this is from a friend, her family opened a card room/casino/ they took pleasure in winning the customers money,
you, can stop, file bankrupcy , it is your right, do not stop caring about your self reach out to family , friends, counseling most states offer free help....just educate yourself on the evil intentions of the casino, It is a freeing experience, know you are addicted, and find recovery. choices ,,this is the most awesome website, every speaks from experience,

love yourself, choice,
keep coming back

Robin-Mc 02/25/2018

Okay, I’ve read this post several times. Self ban, heck yeah, I’m all for anything that helps. I live in Las Vegas, and I’m sure there’s a way to self ban here, too. I’ve never considered it, can you imagine not even being able to got in your nearby grocery store? But that’s neither here nor there, come to think of it I can’t remember any GA members here talking about self banning. But I know the casinos have certain gamblers that they have forbidden entrance, card counters and cheats in general. Casinos hate those kinds of players as much as they love their high rollers, and everyone else who wants to risk all they have.
It’s sad for the gambling junkie, no matter how you look at it. The threat of being arrested, that’s possibly to save your life. This is a serious addiction.
I thank God I have no desire to gamble today. It’s always going to be one day at a time.
We are so much stronger than we believe
Today I will not gamble

Kass 03/09/2018

How can you stop a compulsive gambler from gambling after 30 plus years ? Any suggestions please .

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