Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
I freaking love the casino...when I'm on my way there I am in such a euphoric state. It's awesome. I play loud music in my car and sing along at the top of my lungs. I'm kind to other drivers...please go ahead of me...thanks for letting me out...big old smile on my face. Walking into the casino, a big smile for everyone. Holding the door for others, resounding wishes of "good luck" to all I see. The smell of the casino, the sights, the sounds...heaven. I kid myself that I'm only gonna use my free play, and maybe a a couple of bucks more. That's all, then I'm heading home. I swear.
So, I download my free play and completely zone out. Maybe I win a few bucks, but it doesn't matter because I'm gonna just gamble it all away. Free play gone, I reach into my wallet and grab a $20. I'll leave as soon as this is gone...I swear. And maybe I win a few bucks, but again it doesn't matter because I'll just keep playing til it's all gone. So maybe now just another $20, then another, then another. Guess what, I've used all the money I took out of the ATM and have reached my daily withdraw limit. No worries, I'll go to the cashier and grab a cash advance. Just another hundred, well maybe two, well no how about five. And now hours and hours have been spent at the casino, I've not only used the free play but have lost hundreds of dollars. When there's no more money to withdraw, I sadly head to my car, fighting back the tears. Please don't let me cry until I get to my car. Once in my car, the radio still blaring as a sad reminder of how excited I was when I arrived here hours ago, the tears flow. How in the heck can I keep doing this to myself? That money was not to be gambeled away...it was for bills, groceries, medicine, etc. What the heck is wrong with me? Am I not more intelligent than this? So for several miles home, I drive in silence. No radio, no singing, just the sound of me repeatedly asking myself why I do this, why am I so stupid. The further and further I get from the casino, I have convinced myself that this is the last time, this won't happen again. So I start to cut myself a break and feel a little better, maybe turn on the radio and listen to a talk show. I arrive home feeling OK. Certainly this won't happen again. I'm much more responsible and smarter than to let this happen again! No worries!!
Guess what...this is probably the hundredth time this scenario has played out. I just got home a little earlier from the casino, where I took my last $100 and gambled it away. I was up several hundred dollars...couldn't leave...that wasn't enough...so I gambled that all away too. Wasn't even sure I'd have enough gas to make it home. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???
So some have suggested self excluding. I've asked this question before, but can't find the thread on which I've asked it. I am not convinced that I will stop going to the casino even is I self exclude. What happens if I self exclude and continue to go to the casino? How would they even know I was there? And absolutely no offense to anyone who has self excluded and successfully stayed away...but to me it's just not a strong enough deterrant. Oh I am an absolute addict, it rules my thoughts and my life. I just don't kow what to do. Thanks for "listening." Wish I could say today I will not gamble, but I've already blown that.
You may have some success by showing the compulsive gambler the GA 20 questions and suggesting that they get help, tell them what resources are available in your community. Tell them you see the pain it has caused them and those around them and that you are there to support them through the process. If you are a loved one of the compulsive gambler some states (mine does) provide counseling free of charge (paid for by lottery dollars), to the loved ones of the compulsive gambler whether the gambler is seeking treatment or not. Generally family members/loved ones can access education about gambling addiction, 1x1 counseling and family counseling with the gambler if the gambler is in treatment. Often the loved ones need to learn the difference between being supportive and enabling and then learn to set boundaries and enforce them.
Learning to live without gambling is a wonderful ,scary, uncomfortable, rewarding gift. I am fortunate enough to live in a area that has GA meetings everyday except Weds. Everyone is different ... find a support group , healthy outlet that works for you.
Posting on this site is a great first step that gambling is taking over your life. I share that with you along with all the other things that come with the gambling. You are not alone !
Self-banning would have been a monumental task and require that I no longer enter some resturaunts and grocery stores. I knew I had to gain the attitude that an alcoholic in recovery must take. Other people have fun gambling but I don't , Maybe others find is harmless entertaining but it is harmful to me. Like I have a deathly allergy that one sting of gambling can kill me.
Everyone is different, this works for me, but it is just one of many tools that I use in my recovery. We cannot rely on just one strategy, we need multiple layers and options to deal with all the circumstances that may trigger us.