Todd,
There is hope.you can recover and be FREE! Go to GA,get a sponsor.start working the steps. You cannot do this alone.keep coming back.

Too much gaming may seem relatively harmless.Spending a lot of time gaming doesn't necessarily qualify as an addiction."Eighty percent of the world can play games safely,

you always control your gaming activity?"

According to the Center for On-Line Addiction, warning signs for online gambling addiction include:

Playing for increasing amounts of time

Thinking about gaming during other activities

Gaming to escape from real-life problems, anxiety, or depression

Lying to friends and family to conceal gaming

Feeling irritable when trying to cut down on gaming

like a yo-yo. Great analogy.
I am sick and tired of gambling and sick and tired of even thinking about gambling. Gambling is very very expensive entertainment I am not able to participate nor will I ever be able to since I am prone to overuse. No other thing in my life have I ever been so taken with, so overcome with utterly insanity and loss of mind about. Spending my very hard earned cash and time that could have been used for family, friends, others and my well being. The problem lies with me and my lack of ability to control myself when I am in this venue. So, right now this very minute and the rest of my life I choose not to gamble or be anywhere where the possibility of gambling exists. It is not for me and I need to committ myself to a gamble free life in order to lead the life I want and to be the person God put me here to be.
My committment to you all and to myself.

Don't "try" counseling. Do it. Recovery works if you work it, creamed spinach is something you try. Then if you don't like it, you don't have to do anymore./ Don't treat recovery the same way. It tastes bad too, like swallowing pride. You'll gag at first, but you can get it down and keep it down with practice.

Do or do not, there is no try - Yoda

I am joining you in this battle and believe me when I say I know how difficult it is. The mental component is the worst aspect of stopping-- the what ifs and if I had done this differently. The fact for me is that winning wasnt the end for me. It was all about the action, the adrenalin rush. I have been here before and life without gambling is a hell of a lot better. But i am not beating myself up for gambling again but the way forward has to be different. The best of luck to you. What a great new years gift to you and your wife to stop and stay stopped. Cheers, John

thanks for your recent comments, nearly done a week now with no gambling,the part is feeling lost like there's something missing out of your life i have been trying to fill my time in with other things but sometimes feels like i'm doing a night shift from not be able to sleep.

Please Todspark..get the help now before it comes to 200k...trust me..I have been there. That was one of my major triggers..when my Stepfather was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer..that's when I hit
the casino big time. Now, I have lost over 160 k and Lord knows how much more if I decided to work on my business more instead of spending it in the casino. I wish I would have gotten the proper help then. Its ok to need others..it's ok to get help...
I will pray for you and your family.co