Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Right at this very moment I know I am at my rock bottom. Went on a 24 hour gambling binge yesterday and got home broke, defeated, emotionally drained, ashamed and every other adjective you can use to define a gambler. For the first time in a year I am unable to pay my rent. I went as soon as I got home to see the leasing manager and begged her to allow me to pay the rent with my next paycheck. She hasn't confirmed so I am sitting here just disgusted with myself. How did I let it get this bad? I am a smart and educated woman with an wonderful job. I never let my gambling affect my work yet today I did the unthinkable... I called in sick to gamble. I am so sick and nauseated right now. My life is a mess right now. And the worst part about this is that my family does not know, my friends do not know and my children do not know. It is a secret addiction and leads me to live two separate lives. I suffer from depression and anxiety in addition to compulsive gambling. I really need support from someone who knows what I am going through right now. I will be calling in tonight and if I can stop crying maybe I will speak. I am so tired of being tired. xoxo Chargergirl
I am living your nightmare ever day too. I live in San Diego and if you live near the area let me know and maybe we could get together and talk about our experiences. I need to go to a GA meeting myself. The last time I was in the casino near me I found story after story of how much debt people were getting into just that night trying to get "their money back". Somehow I didn't feel like the biggest loser of a lifetime after listening to them. I realized right then and there that I was not alone. Sometimes when I'm there it seems like their are so many responsible people who know when to leave or set limits for themselves and stick to it. When I'm there I have always felt like a secret lose because I don't leave when I need to leave and just break my limits each time.
Of course I know that the casinos are filled with addicts but just hearing a couple of nice woman talk with me made me feel not so alone. The part of this addiction is that it's kept a secret and we feel as though we are leading a double life. What makes it harder is that we have no one to talk about it with in our day to day lives. We can come here for support but we still are battling this addiction as we walk around with a fake smile. Trying to act like we are okay is difficult when we are falling apart on the inside. This addiction has brought me to the brink of death a few times. You start to feel as though you can't deal with all of your mistakes. For me I pride myself on making good decisions but this addiction had led me down roads I didn't think we're possible. I already have depression and aniexty so add this in and you have a recipe for disaster. My guilt is a killer because when I think about where my life is now, even I would be yelling at myself from the outside saying get your crap together and stop this insanity. The problem is we are chasing our losses and we start to think once we make some money that we will stop. The truth is we will always be in a bind to catch up on all the extra bills we created for ourselves by gambling. Watching TV even at home can stress me out because I'm thinking I would love to buy that or go shopping there but I can't since I have no money because I'm an idiot and pissed it all away. Please know you are not alone with this and we all understand what you are going through. I hope you feel better and know I'm here for you of you need a sounding bar or anything else.
Hugs- Debbie
There is help everywhere once you look, I have been on this board for nine years and come by at least weekly to keep in touch with the illness I suffer from, an illness that works just as hard to deny that I am sick.
You can get better and it is simple, but not easy. To get better you have to work, be brave and work some more. Best wishes.
It's difficult to understand right now, that all of it really not about money or anything in tight with finances. It's a deep emotional problem. Money is a drug to get to that high point of escape. As ridiculous as it sounds, first thing you need to do is to sleep and eat. Then look for people to talk to like counseling or ga members. Don't worry about your finances. Things have tendency to work out by themselves.
I been there. That's why I'm saying this.
I lost to gambling 3 houses, 3 cars, 2 bankruptcies, 20 year marriage, tons of opportunities and most valuable -time.
Now I am still in garnishment repayments, no credit, no car, in one bedroom apartment with my daughter and I am happy.
Never give up on yourself. Give up on gambling.
Love,
Viktoriya.