i was so desperate i did a hypnosis, so far so good, i think about g every once in a while, i dont dream anymore of slots anymore, but if it helps a smidgeon i'll do it. there are videos on utube to self hypnosis, give it a shot, it calmed me if anything after the last horrendous aftermath.....

That urge. I know it well.

I also know I'm a compulsive gambler who doesn't enjoy gambling, or even the thought of gambling anymore. Sure, I can lie to myself thinking it will relax me - not true - my husband won't miss the money - sneaky, a lie - gambling is legal - so what! I'm an adult - act like one- just twenty - NO!

You see, for me, gambling is a dangerous addition. I've beat myself up over and over again, lost, wondering why I can't leave until my funds run out. Screaming in my head "it's not about the money!", even when I win I know I won't stop. No amount is enough to start with, I know I can't stop until I'm more crazy than the last careless attempt to gamble like a normal person. Gambling stopped being fun for me long ago.

It's not fun to me. If you want to try telling yourself it's no longer fun maybe your thoughts about gambling will change. I hope so. Please give yourself time.

well you made it 17 months so you know you can do it. You have tools that you can take out and start using. You aren't going to feel so hot in the beginning, you already know that. You also know it gets better with time. I came on here for the first time 13 days clean and I was a mess. It helped to come on here and have people tell me that it's normal to feel bad and have urges and that it will pass. The urges will come and go and each time you resist you become stronger. you were a great influence for me. I haven't gambled for 8 months now. You have got this one day at a time. Keep posting and start working the steps. You can do this, I believe in you!

Hi Nancy,

Yes, it's true...nothing compares to the high of gambling...but, if you don't gamble you won't get the extreme low afterwards either...you know, when you finally do leave the casino...the self loathing, anger, sadness, depression, etc....why is it that we gamble? We deserve better. Love yourself by not gambling, just for today. Just concentrate on today. You have 17 months prior, so you know how to do this. Hang tough

I strongly disagree that nothing compares to the high of gambling. For Valentines Day I took my lady to see Andrea Bocelli in concert and the high was much better than being in any stinky casino. Tomorrow I will play 18 holes of golf in 70 degree weather on a beautiful golf course and again the high will be so much better than sitting at a poker table or at a sportsbook. I love my life just the way it is now and I would be such a fool to risk any of these memories to return to a dead end street surrounded by a bunch of losers. Get on with really living and find your passion. Gambling will never be mine again. God Bless

Skip,

You, me and everyone else on this forum is entitled to their own opinion. It doesn't make anyone wrong or right because it's each person's opinion, feelings, thoughts while struggling with gambling addiction in our recoveries. This is supposed to be a supportive forum. I take offense to you calling gamblers losers.

I think that when I told myself: "Nothing is enjoyable compared to the thought of going again", it was part of the addiction. Going again may seem like a good thing, but it is similar to the false belief I used to have about "Gambling is harmless fun that I deserve". When I examine these closely neither is true for me. Learning to live in recovery for me has been a bit about discovering and changing my false beliefs that I use to use to justify my behaviors. If I change the underlying false belief, I can change the behavior. A bigger part of my recovery is carefully listening to my inner dialog, monitoring what I say to myself. Stopping criticism and choosing what to tell myself. I am far happier planting a potato, writing in a journal, going to a movie, baking a cake, having tea with a friend, or scribbling with a crayon than I ever was in 4o plus years of compulsive gambling, (if I am being honest with myself and looking at the big picture).

In my prior post I was speaking of myself and how I perceive the people I use to gamble with. As far as winners and losers , I believe the majority of people lose when they continue to gamble. That's a fact. I do not see many casinos going bankrupt unless they were run by Trump. If I offended someone I am sorry. Obviously some people played in casinos were most were winners. Not me. God Bless

You got this!! Because inside your a strong person because you have already done it before! Keep reminding yourself of that! I found keeping your brain busy doing other things helps. I tell myself the cash you put into slots is the cash you feed your family with, keep the lights on, keeps the vehicles running, and most importantly keeps the roof over your head. There is too much love in our home to jeopardize that just to gamble. I almost lost it once I don't ever want to go though that again. So I keep busy doing everything Anything I can think of which is hard because I don't work and I have all day to fill my time up. Thank god for my friends who don't gamble to help. God Bless You! Remember "You got this"

I didn't say gambling was enjoyable.. I said nothing gets you as high. It's a scientifically proven FACT how much dopamine floods a gambling addicts brain. Do we need to find healthy alternatives to gambling? Yes. Do they get me as high? No, but that's OK because I no longer have the extreme lows that follow the extreme high. I'm giving this addiction the respect it deserves. Step one in GA is to admit we are powerless over gambling. I firmly believe that. I think it's good to be confident in your quit, but not OVER CONFIDENT. The last time I had alot of quit time racked up I got over confident & said I would never gamble again. Guess what? I relapsed shortly thereafter.

The house always wins, but I would never call anyone struggling with an addiction a loser or the people in casinos losers because we all have the ability to change, to heal. Skip, to imply some people go to casinos where people win, that's just a snide remark that does harm, not good. Everyone has the ability to change & to imply otherwise takes away hope and is just plain mean.

I chose the GA way of one day at a time, give this addiction the respect it deserves, find healthy alternatives, support others in a positive way/retain hope, keep working recovery for a bright future.

I have Never seen a winner come thru the door at a GA meeting . People come because this addiction causes you to Lose because you can not stop gambling. If I would ever relapse and go back to my addiction I would go back knowing I will finally end up "Losing" again. It's inevitable. To nomoreonetimers, I respect your opinion, please do the same and let me have mine. Life is not all black and white, there is a lot of gray. God Bless

Glad to see you back, Nancy. I also struggle with that urgent feeling that gambling is the only thing that seems enjoyable. Some days I go through that argument with myself over and over and over. Even though intellectually I know gambling will only make it worse, my addiction to the dopamine high lures me into thinking it'll be okay if I go. Minute by minute, day by day, I'm trying to find healthy distractions and do the things I know will help in the long run (like writing in my journal, getting enough sleep, etc.) instead of caving. But it's really, really hard. Keep after it!

How is calling people in recovery losers gray? I call a spade a spade, or in this case, mean. I respect other people's opinions but name calling is not an opinion. I think every person at a GA meeting is a winner just for being at the meeting and trying to help, not hurt.

It's a horrible addiction. It's taken me to dark and dangerous places in my mind. The nagging urges can be there while at the same time I'm begging my head to change the subject! I just can't lie to myself anymore! When I feel like I can enjoy a few hours of gambling I know it's my addiction lying for me. if I give in to these urges I know I'll end up a mental mess. Maybe our minds zoom back to that adrenaline rush we felt a long time ago ... I don't know. I do know I've given in to the urge knowing full well I wasn't enjoying myself, beating myself up even before placing that next bet, sabotaging any chance I have to enjoy today. Sometimes feeding my addiction is just that, giving in to the urge in the hopes it will soon be over. Rolling over and playing dead. God help us, one day at a time. Today I will not gamble, join me.

STOP, DROP AND ROLL. I can think of a million things that are great, and feel better than my last bet. If you can't then I want you to close your eyes, and remember the last bet, remember how it made you feel, what it did to you, emotionally and financially and physically.... come on, remember. Now, triple that feeling, because going again will only make it worse than it was the last time you went. Stay in recovery, now, that IS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD. You got this, fight the urge, because once you get through it, albeit, its like passing a kidney stone, you will be in a much better place. BE THE WARRIOR that YOU KNOW YOU ARE.