Fibromyalgia Support Group
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man where do i start....
the last few days have been upsetting and full of drama.
yesterday i went out to my truck to change the oil my self. last time it needed the oil changed i couldn't do it cuz i wasn't feeling too well so my bf took it to a shop to have it done.
well when i got out to take the oil drain plug off i noticed it was really stuck.
i came back inside very upset about it and asked Matthew for a receipt since he last took it to a shop and THEY ARE THE ONES THAT F*CKED IT UP and that's when all hell broke lose. he argued with me nonstop for like an hr even when i shut the door in his face to take a shower, he kept yelling thru the door!! no matter how much i had tried to tell him it was the shop's fault, he still put up a HUGE fight saying that i am blaming HIM!
then this morning at 3 am his cat Miko started meowing nonstop thru our bedroom door. this cat has been waking me up every early ass morning now for how many days in a row!!!! so this time i put him in the down stairs bath room!
then i can't go back to sleep because the ringing in my ears keeps me awake since Matthew took my $12 fan away the other day and that fan (kept on in the back ground) kept the high pitch ringing in my head down! so i could SLEEP!!!!
so i told him i can't sleep and why and that i have had trouble sleeping for days and next thing i know he is lecturing me very loudly about the ringing in my ears in a condescending manner for 2 whole hours about how it doesn't make sense and i should be able to sleep thru it etc!!! did i mention it's like 4 in the morning!!!
so i told him to either shut the hell up or get out of my bed and go sleep in the guest bed or on the couch!! he says no! it's his room too since he lives here! uh no, i bought the house and it's my bed, so get out of my bed! he says no again!
i told him i was really pissed and was about to get violent! so he said he would shut up and not talk to me anymore.
next hting i know, he is out of the bed making a raket, brings in the fan, turns on the light, banging everything in the room, shouting at me about the truck again, shouting at me about the ringing in my ears again, shouting at me about how he should callthe cops on me for threatening to hurt him or kill him, and all kinds of crazy shit!!! so i told him, to pack a bag of clothing for the day and get out for now cuz he don't wanna be in the house with me! not like this!
i start getting clothing off the hangers and he grabs his phone saying "if you don't wanna go to jail, i'd put those clothes back! i'm only trying to help you!" he tries to convince me that he's gonna stay and i dn';t go to jail and we both get what we want! WFT?!?! hell no!! asshole! pack your shit and get the fuck out!
my mom came in and separated us, said that we were both wrong. she told us to both stop. so i stopped talking. but he kept on talking down to me in his condescending manner about how all my little "health problems don't add up" and my behavior is crazy and RUDE, yada yada, made some threats about calling the cops on me again.... mom stopped him again. i told him that he should get the shit beat out of him for the way he just spoke to me. that's how i was raised.
finally he grabbed some clothing and left.
i've been crying all morning. i don't know what to think of the whole matter. we've been going to couples counseling for almost 3 moths now and things were going really good. then this past week he just hit this condescending mode or something and thinks he can just lecture the fuck out of me. it's over. i'm really f*ckin depressed........
the last few days have been upsetting and full of drama.
yesterday i went out to my truck to change the oil my self. last time it needed the oil changed i couldn't do it cuz i wasn't feeling too well so my bf took it to a shop to have it done.
well when i got out to take the oil drain plug off i noticed it was really stuck.
i came back inside very upset about it and asked Matthew for a receipt since he last took it to a shop and THEY ARE THE ONES THAT F*CKED IT UP and that's when all hell broke lose. he argued with me nonstop for like an hr even when i shut the door in his face to take a shower, he kept yelling thru the door!! no matter how much i had tried to tell him it was the shop's fault, he still put up a HUGE fight saying that i am blaming HIM!
then this morning at 3 am his cat Miko started meowing nonstop thru our bedroom door. this cat has been waking me up every early ass morning now for how many days in a row!!!! so this time i put him in the down stairs bath room!
then i can't go back to sleep because the ringing in my ears keeps me awake since Matthew took my $12 fan away the other day and that fan (kept on in the back ground) kept the high pitch ringing in my head down! so i could SLEEP!!!!
so i told him i can't sleep and why and that i have had trouble sleeping for days and next thing i know he is lecturing me very loudly about the ringing in my ears in a condescending manner for 2 whole hours about how it doesn't make sense and i should be able to sleep thru it etc!!! did i mention it's like 4 in the morning!!!
so i told him to either shut the hell up or get out of my bed and go sleep in the guest bed or on the couch!! he says no! it's his room too since he lives here! uh no, i bought the house and it's my bed, so get out of my bed! he says no again!
i told him i was really pissed and was about to get violent! so he said he would shut up and not talk to me anymore.
next hting i know, he is out of the bed making a raket, brings in the fan, turns on the light, banging everything in the room, shouting at me about the truck again, shouting at me about the ringing in my ears again, shouting at me about how he should callthe cops on me for threatening to hurt him or kill him, and all kinds of crazy shit!!! so i told him, to pack a bag of clothing for the day and get out for now cuz he don't wanna be in the house with me! not like this!
i start getting clothing off the hangers and he grabs his phone saying "if you don't wanna go to jail, i'd put those clothes back! i'm only trying to help you!" he tries to convince me that he's gonna stay and i dn';t go to jail and we both get what we want! WFT?!?! hell no!! asshole! pack your shit and get the fuck out!
my mom came in and separated us, said that we were both wrong. she told us to both stop. so i stopped talking. but he kept on talking down to me in his condescending manner about how all my little "health problems don't add up" and my behavior is crazy and RUDE, yada yada, made some threats about calling the cops on me again.... mom stopped him again. i told him that he should get the shit beat out of him for the way he just spoke to me. that's how i was raised.
finally he grabbed some clothing and left.
i've been crying all morning. i don't know what to think of the whole matter. we've been going to couples counseling for almost 3 moths now and things were going really good. then this past week he just hit this condescending mode or something and thinks he can just lecture the fuck out of me. it's over. i'm really f*ckin depressed........
Sorry you had a rough night, maybe you two just needed to get it out of your systems. Seems like it was time for the pot to explode and boil over.
Little time away from each other might help alot. Eventually he will see you are the best thing that happened to him and get his act together.
Hope you get a goodnights sleep and painfree.
This is a form of abuse - pure and simple. Even the keeping you awake shit is a form of abuse. This is something my abusive ex used to do to me on a regular basis and it's just cruel. This is NOT love - not sure what's in it for him but it's not love.
You're going to have to do what you have to do but my advice is unchanged - get out. You deserve so much more than this and he's not going to change. This is who he is.
Not the message you want to hear but it's what I've got. Everybody has bad days but this is not that - this is him being who he is and he's not going to change because he really doesn't think there's anything wrong with him.
So...at the risk of repeating myself...get him out of there...and out of your life. There are too many "fish in the sea" as my grandmother used to say - there are men out there who will treat you with the respect and love you deserve.
Be as calm as you can if the police come and deny you said anything. Just repeat that it is your house and that he was getting belligerent and you asked him to leave... repeatedly. He refused and said he was going to make up a lie if you didn't let him stay (the truth). Whatever you do, don't loose your cool in front of him or the cops.
There is someone better for you...one that doesn't cause stress. You gave it your best shot but when someone is that selfish, there's not much you can do. He's been doing that to you for a long time now...time to be good to yourself.
you got enough responsibilities every day as it is, just with your condition alone. So you gotta give YOU the love that others seem unwilling to give. You are the queen of your castle, and should be treated as such. Its a good thing you guys are not married with kids or this would be a lot more complicated.
I am not sure what the future holds for you, but be extra patient with yourself in this situation bec when its a new break up, the initial pain feels unbearable. I also feel that since some males feel so helpless, they resort to anger out of frustration and go into attack mode. It could also be his way of trying to exit out of the situation as well. They dont tend to verbally say they want out, but they do tend to make your life a living hell at times, to where you have no choice but to end things. Then they do the mental gedi mind trick, well you ended things not me! To that I respond with, you gave me no choice.
Take care of you baby girl and know that we got your back chica!!! and remember, this too, shall pass
take care gentle hugs
Has he stayed on his meds, or had them reviewed? Sounds like it could be a medical problem cos he's so up and down - but whatever the problem - you really need to put you first!!!
A bit of space will be good for both of you - what ever the outcome, I wish you the very best xoxo
he has just finished his 1st long round of classes of psycho therapy and graduated. next is "open one on one therapy" he can go to.
he has moved out just about all his belongings. he's upset that i pulled out all his shit (from my stuff) and helped get rid of it. whatever.
you all are right about his pattern....
i'm done with with it. i'm hurt and very pissed off but i'm done. my heart is pretty freakin torn right now, but i'll get over it in due time. at least i know i gave it my very best.
i'm not taking him back.
over the last few days, i have seen a side of him i have NEVER seen before. very cold hearted..... i never want that in my life again.
if he comes around to his senses later and decides he wants me back, that's just too f*ckin BAD! loser......
thank you all very very much for all your awesome support! you all are my strength right now.... it means the world to me!!
Men!
...your little health problems just don't add up? To what??? Oh, Hell no.
It's ok to be a little depressed. Things weren't what you were wanting. Then it'll pass. You're young and hot - there are plenty of good guys out there just waiting for the chance to be with you.
I'm glad your mom was there,
the shit stops here.
U will figure it all out. Take care of yourself. You deserve good treatment and respect.
Because he's off of his meds? Is that okay for him to be off his meds? I think there is a lot more to this, than what he is not admitting to.
In the recent past, he has been depressed, abusive and straightens up for a bit, and then reverts right back to his abusiveness again.
It's not worth it. If he was going to change, he would have already done it. This has been going on for too long now.
You are so right, it is time to take care of yourself. To heck with him and his illnesses, he's not doing YOU any good --just more stress. You don't need that. You don't deserve that.
Get mad, grieve the relationship that 'once was' but then look forward to the days of peacefulness without worrying about what he is going to pull next.
Take care, little one, you are a strong person and will get through this, and come out on the other side with a great positive attitude, as you won't have him there to pull you down anymore.
You are doing the BEST thing for yourself. Get out while you can, and you still have your sanity! Because it WILL make you lose it eventually!!!!
The pain will get better everyday. You're a brave woman!!!
the stress has driven the physical pain way up.... i'm hoping that i can manage to get it down enough.
so far i'm doing ok emotionally (i think).... at least for breaking up with someone i loved for almost 4 years. i went to a new church today and the sermon was about getting rid of "unhealthy" people in your life that keep you from your eyes on God or from your relationship with God. LOL
i swear that pastor has been spying on me
it made me feel better about what has been going on and his (my now-ex) whole negativity. and now it's gone.
i'm still hurting but i feel good about my decision of getting rid of him. most of my friends (and his) i've spoken to on the phome can't beleive it's happened. they think it's a big joke and he'll come back.
i'm not letting him back.
you all are so awesome..... i'm so thankful i have your support!!!! now lwts have a drink to that!