Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
man where do i start....
the last few days have been upsetting and full of drama.
yesterday i went out to my truck to change the oil my self. last time it needed the oil changed i couldn't do it cuz i wasn't feeling too well so my bf took it to a shop to have it done.
well when i got out to take the oil drain plug off i noticed it was really stuck.
i came back inside very upset about it and asked Matthew for a receipt since he last took it to a shop and THEY ARE THE ONES THAT F*CKED IT UP and that's when all hell broke lose. he argued with me nonstop for like an hr even when i shut the door in his face to take a shower, he kept yelling thru the door!! no matter how much i had tried to tell him it was the shop's fault, he still put up a HUGE fight saying that i am blaming HIM!
then this morning at 3 am his cat Miko started meowing nonstop thru our bedroom door. this cat has been waking me up every early ass morning now for how many days in a row!!!! so this time i put him in the down stairs bath room!
then i can't go back to sleep because the ringing in my ears keeps me awake since Matthew took my $12 fan away the other day and that fan (kept on in the back ground) kept the high pitch ringing in my head down! so i could SLEEP!!!!
so i told him i can't sleep and why and that i have had trouble sleeping for days and next thing i know he is lecturing me very loudly about the ringing in my ears in a condescending manner for 2 whole hours about how it doesn't make sense and i should be able to sleep thru it etc!!! did i mention it's like 4 in the morning!!!
so i told him to either shut the hell up or get out of my bed and go sleep in the guest bed or on the couch!! he says no! it's his room too since he lives here! uh no, i bought the house and it's my bed, so get out of my bed! he says no again!
i told him i was really pissed and was about to get violent! so he said he would shut up and not talk to me anymore.
next hting i know, he is out of the bed making a raket, brings in the fan, turns on the light, banging everything in the room, shouting at me about the truck again, shouting at me about the ringing in my ears again, shouting at me about how he should callthe cops on me for threatening to hurt him or kill him, and all kinds of crazy shit!!! so i told him, to pack a bag of clothing for the day and get out for now cuz he don't wanna be in the house with me! not like this!
i start getting clothing off the hangers and he grabs his phone saying "if you don't wanna go to jail, i'd put those clothes back! i'm only trying to help you!" he tries to convince me that he's gonna stay and i dn';t go to jail and we both get what we want! WFT?!?! hell no!! asshole! pack your shit and get the fuck out!
my mom came in and separated us, said that we were both wrong. she told us to both stop. so i stopped talking. but he kept on talking down to me in his condescending manner about how all my little "health problems don't add up" and my behavior is crazy and RUDE, yada yada, made some threats about calling the cops on me again.... mom stopped him again. i told him that he should get the shit beat out of him for the way he just spoke to me. that's how i was raised.
finally he grabbed some clothing and left.
i've been crying all morning. i don't know what to think of the whole matter. we've been going to couples counseling for almost 3 moths now and things were going really good. then this past week he just hit this condescending mode or something and thinks he can just lecture the fuck out of me. it's over. i'm really f*ckin depressed........
the last few days have been upsetting and full of drama.
yesterday i went out to my truck to change the oil my self. last time it needed the oil changed i couldn't do it cuz i wasn't feeling too well so my bf took it to a shop to have it done.
well when i got out to take the oil drain plug off i noticed it was really stuck.
i came back inside very upset about it and asked Matthew for a receipt since he last took it to a shop and THEY ARE THE ONES THAT F*CKED IT UP and that's when all hell broke lose. he argued with me nonstop for like an hr even when i shut the door in his face to take a shower, he kept yelling thru the door!! no matter how much i had tried to tell him it was the shop's fault, he still put up a HUGE fight saying that i am blaming HIM!
then this morning at 3 am his cat Miko started meowing nonstop thru our bedroom door. this cat has been waking me up every early ass morning now for how many days in a row!!!! so this time i put him in the down stairs bath room!
then i can't go back to sleep because the ringing in my ears keeps me awake since Matthew took my $12 fan away the other day and that fan (kept on in the back ground) kept the high pitch ringing in my head down! so i could SLEEP!!!!
so i told him i can't sleep and why and that i have had trouble sleeping for days and next thing i know he is lecturing me very loudly about the ringing in my ears in a condescending manner for 2 whole hours about how it doesn't make sense and i should be able to sleep thru it etc!!! did i mention it's like 4 in the morning!!!
so i told him to either shut the hell up or get out of my bed and go sleep in the guest bed or on the couch!! he says no! it's his room too since he lives here! uh no, i bought the house and it's my bed, so get out of my bed! he says no again!
i told him i was really pissed and was about to get violent! so he said he would shut up and not talk to me anymore.
next hting i know, he is out of the bed making a raket, brings in the fan, turns on the light, banging everything in the room, shouting at me about the truck again, shouting at me about the ringing in my ears again, shouting at me about how he should callthe cops on me for threatening to hurt him or kill him, and all kinds of crazy shit!!! so i told him, to pack a bag of clothing for the day and get out for now cuz he don't wanna be in the house with me! not like this!
i start getting clothing off the hangers and he grabs his phone saying "if you don't wanna go to jail, i'd put those clothes back! i'm only trying to help you!" he tries to convince me that he's gonna stay and i dn';t go to jail and we both get what we want! WFT?!?! hell no!! asshole! pack your shit and get the fuck out!
my mom came in and separated us, said that we were both wrong. she told us to both stop. so i stopped talking. but he kept on talking down to me in his condescending manner about how all my little "health problems don't add up" and my behavior is crazy and RUDE, yada yada, made some threats about calling the cops on me again.... mom stopped him again. i told him that he should get the shit beat out of him for the way he just spoke to me. that's how i was raised.
finally he grabbed some clothing and left.
i've been crying all morning. i don't know what to think of the whole matter. we've been going to couples counseling for almost 3 moths now and things were going really good. then this past week he just hit this condescending mode or something and thinks he can just lecture the fuck out of me. it's over. i'm really f*ckin depressed........
(((((hugs)))))
Andrea
People just take it for granted that they get up in the morning and go all day long without a hitch. I wish we could have a day that is that simple.
The outside world wonders how we can be out for a walk one day or working in the yard and can't get out of bed the next.
That's why this disease is crazy making for me. It confuses me how this disease can change me so much from day to day. Every little thing seems like a struggle. Things the world takes for granted.
He doesn't realize how frustrating it is to be stuck in our bodies. This is a very hard disease on relationships.
People think I'm crazy and rude. I can be
very rude because I need all bullshit to stop right now for my own sanity. I get easily overwhelmed by sounds, smells and noise. I have been know to complain or leave someone's home because of it. I just walk right out.
One time I was in terrible pain and had my music blaring in my car, trying to get my courage up to go into work. I guy can up to me and told me my music was too loud. I said F--- U and rolled up my window. I thought if it's too loud........move further away from my car but don't come up to my window and complain, because I don't care. I'm trying to take care of myslef...
Starting off by sending lots of gentle hugs.
Although his behaviour can't be condoned, it is as Ouchy said very difficult for others to understand. Have you thought about printing off some good info on FM let him read it and maybe he will get a better understanding. He may find it as frustrating as you and being a man trying to fix it and can't
Alternatively the guy's an arse and he doesn't deserve you.
Not knowing him not sure which one he is.
Sending more hugs and hope it gets better.
Oh and by the way I am now REALLY thinking that us FM sufferers wear a sign on our back shit stops here................
Take care
Hope your Mum is giving you lots of love and support.
Hugs
You are worth more that this hun,You truly do deserve so much better xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So sorry this all happened.......Relationships can be so hard sometimes.....my and hubby have been married 27 yrs, and have sure had our share of disagreements......Sending you big HUGS and hoping that all works out well....
yes he knows very much about FM and he has read so many things about it. he comes to my chronic pain follow ups too on mondays (he doens't come EVERY monday but often enough).
so he has his good days where he is supportive but then he also has his bad days where he will lecture me about whats wrong with me and demand answers for HOURS like what just happend. i keep telling him that i DO NOT know and this illness is still a damn MYSTERY!!
some days he's sweet to me and other days i feel like he treats me like i'm not good enough for him. but i know BETTER. i can't be treated this way and i have told him this. we have talked about this during couples therapy.
anyways, he has called me and told me he found an apartment and is moving over the weekend. so i guess this is it. he is leaving. i don't know if this means that we are still dating but living separate, or we are finished. i'm not sure what i want. i love him in so many ways, but i don't want the condescending attitude or the lectures!
i guess we'll see what he says our status is. if he wants to work it out as living separately.... i may think about it. i may decide not to, and that we are DONE. for now, i'm just heart broken.... he was the love of my life.....
thanks for all your support. you guys mean the world to me.
Oh, hun, just read your update.....so sorry you are hurting so bad.....
Maybe a bit of space will give you each time to think....give him time to reflect on what you mean to him, and both of you time and room to decide what is next....
I know nothing will take the hurt away right now, but I'm sending you all the love and hugs I can....please know we are hear to support you!
HUGS from down south :)
Dealing with Fibro is hard enough, but when you have someone in your life who you expect to be able to lean on, and that person lets you fall, it's a lot to handle.
I think you are probably better off going your separate ways. You will sleep better and have less stress which will effectively make you feel better.
It is hard to let someone go who you love, no matter how bad the relationship is. However, there is a perfect guy out there for you and as good as it is with this guy now, it will be better with the right guy.
coming from someone who has been divorced almost 3 years; it's so much better not having that added stress and walking on egg shellsin my own home.