Fibromyalgia Support Group

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Monday ARGH check-in

Good morning.

My "rest up and rest" weekend was a total effing loss.

Mom needed (long list).

Hubby is having anxiety attacks all night. (Try not taking the cold meds at bedtime, and, oh, drinking three fewer cans of pop---that's soda, cola, soda pop depending where you are in the US---and maybe not eating sugar crap at 8 PM....)

I'm literally clenching my jaws *consciously* which is dumb, b/c I know TMJ is my enemy, but it's that or start scream-crying, and for some odd reason, that's not allowed right now. I'm so bloody sick with this cold that I literally fell over standing up the other day, which is not good, but who is making soup from scratch? Me. Who is keeping the house swept and dusted? Me. Who is doing fu**ing laundry? Me. Who is feeding the cats, managing the mom, makign the bed, wiping the tub? Me. Does Hubby have a cold? Yes. Can he effing well do more than sleep all day and complain all night that he can't sleep? *Yes*. IMHO, of course. I do feel bad, but who is making me the favorite soups? Nobody. Nobody is my best friend right now. Nobody is doing all the work for me, answering the phone, coping with Hubby', I just love that Nobody! That Nobody is doing it all for me!

I want my favorite soup without me making it. Hubby won't even heat me a damn cup of broth from a freaking container. No, wait. He *will*, but he spends the whole time with a cooking thermometer asking me how hot it has to be.  How's this: Not going to blister my tongue?  "What's that? In degrees?" So naturally who gets off the sickbed to explain (again) that a simmer is this, a boil is that, and just wait till it effing well *bubbles*, okay?!... "But how do I know..." Because! It doesn't bubble if it's too cold! WTH?!

BTW, if asked to heat a can of soup for himself, he gets out the cooking thermometer and complains the can doesn't come with directions for exact temperatures. This only started a couple years ago. He used to heat his own soup without a murmur. Hmph.

Oh, and BHubby asks me to make him flatbread to go with his soup. From scratch. What the (I can't spell that word it's in Polish) is that about?  Buy some, Mr. Nyquil-Dayquil-Pepsi! With my epilepsy meds, I cannot take any cold stuff, I have to do the old-fashioned tea, steam, and *sleep* method.... or not.


OK, I had a horrible weekend of not-resting, can you tell?! LOL, pop goes the puma! *sproing*!


Today in 1542, Wife Number FIve of Henry VIII of England was executed for adultery, which equated to treason, which equated to.... Yeah, at a certain point, no matter how desperate one is for a male heir, or two, or ten, you should ask, "After divorcing a couple, beheading two, and having one drop dead after childbirth, should I really think myself a marrying man?"

Google's doodle today and for a few days honors the pangolin. WHat is that? Weird, for one thing. It's a mammal... with scales. (That's like hearing "furry reptile". Huh?) Pangolins are endangered due to trafficking. THey look like armadillos, to be honest, but they're basically anteaters, toothless, and are valued for their meat and... er... scaly-hide-things. (Ew.) pangolinpic

Pangolin scales are of the same material as fingernails on humans and horns on rhinos: Keratin. It's a protein, and it also forms the claws of critters like your dog and cat. Keratin is also the protein in your hair. It's common in the animal kingdom, and the only similar protein covering/growth with strength and so forth is chitin. WHat's chitin? It makes up the crunchy exoskeleton of bugs and spiders and crabs and similar. 

What does this mean? Essentially, those folk remedies involving rhino horn and pangolin scales could be achieved by grinding up human fingernails and toenails, and nobody'd know the difference, and the endangered animals might stand a chance. See, this is what ignorance does to the world. Kills animals for something people already *have*. *headdesk*

How did I get here from there? How do I ever?

Today is considered one of the days on whcih Thomas Edison, inventor, observed what became known as the Edison Effect, which is that heated elements (as in his incandescent light bulb) will emit protons that travel to a cooler metal plate, in a vacuum. Edison was working on idea number gazillion for a better light bulb when he began to observe the effect in 1875, and refined the principle and the uses of it about a decade later. Being Edison, he patented the failed light bulb in case it was useful later. It was. It is the basis of the vacuum tube that founded modern electronics. It's named for him, because he had no clue what it was at the time. He wa sjust trying to making a better light bulb.


Off to find a happy place. For thsoe not in the know, last week, my mom's bankruptcy was rescheduled to April so we're still supporting her, and I found out via the pharmacy that my insurance company had canceled my policy by clerical error and was still taking my checks for premiums for two months but I was owing huge amounts in unpaid pharmacy bills and the pharmacy had cancelled my prescriptions, and my epilepsy doc is in freaking Holland on research, and I can't get two of my meds in generic b/c they don't come in generic. Soooo.....yes, we're stressed, and Hubby has legit anxieties, as he's the one working and I'm not, and he works on commission and it's the dead season for houses (He does mortgages) and and and and and and and....

and that was *without* the bloody head colds. Find a happy place, find a happy place....



Sorry you have to deal with the dreaded man cold on top of everything else:/ you can probably get them to refund your money for the 2 months of premiums that you paid for, but knowing insurance companies they'll probably take their sweet time. Is there another doctor at your doctors office that could write you a prescription for your epilepsy meds?

We ended up with a little more than a foot of snow. It's stopped now but the roads are still a mess, so I'm glad I got a snow day from work. That said I slept horribly and had crazy dreams all night. Off to find the motivation to deal with the snow...I think I need food and more coffee first.

Leo im so sorry for how your weekend went and the ins issues :(

Not dealing well, my friend dying is hitting hard and i am home since last night. I am at a loss between my pain and grief. Yesterday was the day my best friend died last year as well. I am so messed up mentally. Pain is bad too about to try a hot shower. Thankful for the shower chair i use on days like today.

You always give me perspective.... Thank you:-)
Miki, my doc's office is givin me conniptions... Stay safe in the snow. Like, y'know, wait for it to melt if possible? (I grew up Frozen, now live Warm, so we can do that.)
Angela, bad anniversaries suck. Big soft hugs....

Morning Leo,
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time right now. I'd send you some of my Epilepsy meds if they were what you were taking...and they probably aren't. Speaking of EMeds, I am starting to adjust to them a bit. I wrote my Doc an email telling her that I was still having some small seizures and high anxiety. She told me to grow a pair and increased by half my nightly dose. (she really didn't mention the pair growing) Anyway, my body is slowly getting use to the buggers and my seizures are almost gone altogether now. Hoping that things start going better for you there. (((hugs)))

Well, the frozen tundra here has been more like the thawing tundra. We've even had a few trucks going through the ice around here! Had about 6-7 inches last week and since then it's been nice except the wind (50mph yesterday). Don't overdo it with the snow removal...believe me, I feel your pain.

Well..knee is better, the rest is worse. What that gives me is BALANCE which is critical to living life to it's fullest! Anxiety is down a bit's confusing why it comes and goes but I'm not complaining (at least not to much).

Hoping we all find some reason to feel blessed today,


I was cleaning out my basement this weekend which was where my nephew lived before he went to Vegas and committed suicide last fall. It was the first time I've had the guts to go into his "space" since it happened. I do relate to the feeling of overwhelming grief and sadness. I also know that it will get better...just gotta keep on keeping on, eyes on the prize and all that. Sending you ((((hugs)))).

Kel, you're in the adjustment phase of meds, it sucks, and you don't need to grow (another) pair, I'm sure your pair suffices;-P Just let the neuro know that increasing meds isn't always the only solution. I had a neuro who wouldn't listen, and it went badly for me, so I learned to advocate for myself. Also, some anti-anxiety drugs work on seizures, too, sooooo..... you could get a two-fer! Big hugs to you. I *hate* cleaning out the space of the lost loved ones. Feels .... rotten. Big hugs.

Ahhh, it's Monday.

Leo, that's a lot going on. My hubby has a cold and he's moaning and groaning about feeling lousy. I told him that's how I always feel so power through. It's a cold. I have the same cold on top of everything else. And, by the way, that's awful how the insurance snafu is playing out.

Miki, be safe. I agree with Leo, wait a bit and see if the sun will help with the snow. We've had so little, it hardly feels like winter.

Angela, sorry for your loss. It's never easy, but does get better. Think about the good.

Kel, glad the knee is better. I can have anxiety swings. Who can understand that? Good luck with those meds. It will work out. I'm the one in the family who always has to deal with the deceased personal items. No one else can deal.

I'm still coughing. Voice comes and goes, though it seems to be getting better. Which is good because I have to teach tomorrow. My neck has been in awful pain for a solid week and has now given me a full out migraine. I've also had trouble with my right eye for several days and it's swollen today. Yeah, the pain is very high everywhere. I hate this condition. It's so hard to predict how I'll feel Day to day.

Hi to everyone else.

Leo, thanks for trivia! Things are really bad for you right now. When my husband was sick, after 4 days of his complaining and literally not doing a thing for days, but complain, I finally said on the last day, and who takes care of me when I'm sick, or flaring, or have anxiety, it sure as hell isn't you. I was fed-up after getting a text at church that he needed soup ASAP. Really! I'm praying your situation gets better. I don't understand why they can't reinstate your insurance and backdate it, especially since it was their error. They backdated for Addison once on her autism therapy. I don't remember the details, probably blocked it out b/c of the stress, but I remember calling BCBS a lot around that time, and they finally agreed to backdate. I was not backing down, and in full pissed off mode for whatever mistake they made at the time. Granted we were covered the whole time, but you should have been. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

Miki, you sure got a lot of snow. I'm glad you didn't have to go to work and you already knew yesterday too. I hope you sleep better tonight. I didn't sleep good either, and I'm already worried about tonight. I hate when I do that. I hope you rest today and do something fun for yourself.

Angela, I need a shower chair for the weekends when I'm up on my feet more, the pain is so bad. I'm glad you got that to help you out. I'm sorry you are having a rough time dealing with your friends loss. Always praying for you!

Kel, it sounds like you had a very tough weekend cleaning out the basement. (((Hugs))) I'm glad the meds are getting better, and I like the encouragement to find something to be blessed about. :-)

Bobbi, I hope you have your voice for teaching tomorrow, and that your cough gets better. My neck pain has been bad too, makes sleeping for any length of time impossible. I hope your pain decreases, and goes away in some places. ;-)

I'm in so much pain from the weekend. The garage looks great though. I'm going on the girls field trip tomorrow to the science museum. I love the science museum, b/c my girls do, and I'm always happy when they are happy, but I'm going with their 1st grade classes. I think I have to take 4 kids around from 9am to 2pm. There are benches and places to rest, but please pray for me. This will probably be a mistake to do on Valentines day, but it's for my girls not me.

Quick hello as little guy is down for his nap and does not sleep very long.

Leo, so sorry you are going through your cold, your hubby's cold and everything else. I sure feel bad for you.

Hello to miki, Angela, Kel, and Bobbi. May your days improve. And hi to those who follow.

I'm a bit of a wreck. The lady is meeting with hubby this afternoon to talk about our housing etc... This could be good, or very bad. If she decides not to finance us, we will have to try and rent. That will mean all hubby's tools in storage. And a lot of money going instead equity. I'm praying.

I don't know how yesterday's showing went. The realtor hasn't gotten back to me.

Take care everyone.

Hi twin. Hope the museum trip goes well.

Thanks everyone it means a lot that you take the time to respond to me. Having breathing issues today but my inhalers helping some, and i have another i can use in another half hour (they have to be an hour apart). My oxygen is good 96 to 97 percent so no need to go to ER thank God! I have a nebulizer too if needed. At least its starting to improve! I am so worn out but i did sleep last night, slept from about 9 until 3 then 330 till 630 most ive had in awhile. Tried putting off pain meds but by 9am i gave in now waiting for them to kick in all the way its about 945 now. Sugar have been high but so is pain and stress. So i am putting that as going together on that one. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers, and i hope things get better for us all!

Leo, I am so sorry you aren’t feeling well and didn’t get the rest you really needed. I wish hubby would be more helpful even if he isn’t feeling well. Heck, my kids could warm a can of soup when they were less than 10, a grown man should be able to without issue. I hope you find your happy place today and can figure something out to get your meds. That is horrible of the insurance company. If they did it in error, why can’t they reinstate it?

Miki, yay for a snow day. I almost took one too, but have 12 hours of OT and don’t want to end up losing that. Take it easy dealing with the snow.

Angela, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Please know we are all proud of you for how well you have been dealing with this. Take care of yourself.

Kel, I am happy to hear your seizures are almost gone and that your knee is better. Sorry the rest of you isn’t doing too great. I don’t get anxiety either. It actually pisses me off most of the time. It hits me when I don’t think I am anxious. So sorry you are dealing with LK’s place. Hugs my friend. Have a good day in the frozen tundra.

Bobbi, I wish you could kick the illness. What is this week 3? I hope you start feeling better soon.

Twin, I saw on the news that you guys were in the high 80’s yesterday. Wow. We are frozen. It is cold and windy. Schools were closed due to the snow blowing and whiteout conditions. I am glad you got your garage cleaned out. I need to work on the attic. It was great until hubby came home and now it is trashed again. Oh well. Anyways, good luck on the field trip. At least it is a flat surface. I am sure you will have a lot of fun.

Ida, praying things go well with the financing and house. Enjoy your day with the little guy.

Sorry I didn’t respond this weekend. I worked Saturday then we had lots of weather issues with flights getting canceled and the potential students needing to make other arrangements, blah, blah, blah. I think the last one finally left today. My legs are still very bothersome. They always ache and hubby even noted last night that with the electric blanket on the rest of my body is warm, but my legs are cold. I have a lot of work to catch up on today. Yesterday I made 15 bean soup to have for lunch this week. I cannot wait to eat.

Hugs to everyone. It sounds like we could use them.

Hey, all. Lit a big old prayer candle for all of us this morning.

Spent my morning on phone with BlueCrossBullShit.... OMG. They'll backdate it if an donly if I can send them proof I paid. Uh, cancelled checks? HellO? For once I'm glad I didn't use online bill-pay. Hah! But that's ten more days of mail it to them, wait for reply. Oh, and they're upset I am switching providers. Well, geez loueez, why not! Well, I am so strung out, I broke down in hysterical crying and couldn't even talk and suddenly a manager is on th ephone and is all, "Ma'am, ma'am, please, we're very sorry what can we do to fix it" and all I can do is wail, "I want my medications so I don't die from goiong of a neuro med cold turkey!" And that was *another* hour of explaining....

Finallllly reached my epioepsy doc in Holland (e-mail!) and he told his office here to get off their (bleep) asses and send in the script. He's getting irritable in his old age.

OK, off to try this relaxing thing after baking bread and doing 2 loads of laundry and taking a walk while the sun shines....

Hello and happy freaking Monday!! I've been up since 2 AM more or less. Tired, weepy and frustrated. Up a few times to get laundry started. In the process, discovered that the kitchen sink is backing up. If there is Drano in the garage, I can't get to it. My partner has been helpful with some things and completely horrible about others. The object of the exercise is supposed to be that I have less to do than the same or more. Having to ask him to do the basics like clean the d*mn litter boxes every day is ridiculous.

The racoon continued his assault last night to try and get back in. I'm thinking about trying a trap again to see if he goes for it this time.

Leo - I have some ideas about that cooking one needs that to heat a can of soup. I'm sorry that you are so sick. I'd demand that the insurance company reinstate your insurance. You paid your premiums on time with the expectation of coverage. Their error does not allow them to cancel it since they accepted the payment. Call your local congressional representative and set them loose on your carrier.

I read everyone's post. I'm just too tired and generally too horrible to respond. Just know that I am thinking of all of you. Thank you to everyone who has sent hugs too. You are all important to me today and everyday. Hugs!

Aloha. Happy Monday.

Leo, that's a lot to deal with. I hope something works out where you could get your meds. Also that your hubby calms down and magically learns how to boil broth, seriously. I feel your anger about it, though... that's how I felt a week ago when I could hardly walk at all and my husband just wanted to stand around and watch me struggle at everything including making my own dinners (even though I was spilling stuff everywhere) because he only cooks for himself. I have to cook for myself but my food is fairgame?? I guess I have to take care of myself and everything else even when sick or in pain. Maybe you should hold off some of the chores till both colds are well. He's obviously not going to help with that man cold going on.

I did end up going to church. The storm had moved on by the time we got there and only drizzled here and there. One of the brake pads seized up on the car so we took my truck. But when church let out, my husband dumped my mom and I at the church and left with another man (from church) to go get some tools and parts? Thankfully, someone noticed us sitting there like a couple of lumps and gave us a ride home.

After hubby and a guy from church fixed the car, he said he felt like going out and doing something before the day was ruined. So I asked him to go do something with me and once again he argued that he wanted to go kite-boarding and changed into his board shorts. I'm under the impression he doesn't like my company :(. But I talked him into it and we drove to a beach and walked on the sand. We also found a hidden beach off a dirt road... a safer beach to swim protected by a cove. I can't wait to come back and swim there. Only thing is, it's right behind the airport and the planes fly right over you, quite noisy. LOL.

We are going on a trip to Kauai for a few days at the end of the month to meet an uncle (I haven't seen in a long time).... and I noticed I have 2 appts overlapping my trip I need to reschedule. So I'll be doing that today. I also need to call VA Choice Card and request more acupuncture, since it expired.

Our electric bill shot up.... and the next door neighbors (the other half of the duplex) said their's doubled by about an extra $100! So a solar water heater guy is coming this morning to check them out and see if that's the issue.

Back in a sec.
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