bluesun-my friend is the same way, except now he doesn't call as much, etc. It's probably because I am so boring due to my pain and fatigue. He has social anxiety so he really doesn't have many friends at all. I feel bad and a little guilty, but I really can't help it at this point in my life.

Hi bluesun... sure is enough responses here so I will just say I hope everything works out for U so things can be more comfortable.

take care gentle hugs

I would give some thought to why you are his only friend. Could it be that he is just too high maintenance for most people? Maybe he thinks that since you also have chronic pain that you're in the same boat he is, socially, or that you will take pity on him. I've known people who were just too needy to have any kind of equitable relationship with. Also sounds like he doesn't want to have to deal with your fibro. Sounds like he wants someone to unload on and to fill his life. He sounds like a lonely, social misfit who just doesn't 'get' how to be a friend.

voodoogal may be right. It could be social anxiety disorder. My sister has it and I've gotta say that maintaining a good relationship with her is difficult. She is not a selfish person, she's actually very caring and kind, but she doesn't have any friends and sometimes she calls and wants to go on about the minutia of her life and if I'm having a bad day it can be a real strain. Whatever the problem is, I would have an honest discussion with him about the problems you are having with the relationship. Either he hears you out and is willing to do something to make things less stressful for you or he won't be willing (or able) to bring some sensitivity and equity to the situation. At that point you can make an informed decision about whether you want to continue the relationship. Either way, you get less stress.

My husband would never read a book. Not a reader anyway and if it's longer than a short magazine article, he's not gonna read it. I give him information in small doses, giving the credentials of the author or information about the study first. I also make sure that he's not trying to multitask when I talk to him. Men are notoriously bad multitaskers. If he's watching TV or thinking about work, he won't hear a word I say. We've been together 30 years, so I don't take it personally. I have a lot of info bookmarked so I can call it up quickly if I find an opportunity to 'share' some information.

Thanks for the book link. I'm always on the lookout for good information.

hmm...... you guys have some good points about the possibility of social anxiety, or at least a form of social isolation he's probably been doing for years.

that reminds me, he did tell our chronic pain psychologist recently that for years he thought no one understood him till he met ME. I was thrown off when he said that and didn't expect it (was also a little embarrassed). does what he said kinda fit into what you are talkin about, voodoo and CSD?

Yes. My sister feels like everyone is judging her and doesn't think anyone could like her for herself. Rather than risk putting herself out there and possibly being rejected or embarrassed, she keeps pretty much to herself.

He might feel like the chronic pain is a connection that would make you accept him. He probably doesn't realize that his behavior causes stress for you and may not be able to do anything about it because it is so ingrained. Or maybe he doesn't even realize that what he's doing isn't really 'normal'. Because he thinks you 'understand' him he may think that you understand EVERYTHING about him or are at least willing to accept it. I hope you can get through to him and he starts to understand that his behavior is unacceptable. Is this something you could bring up to your pain psycologist?