I've been having a bad day. Everything hurts all the time. My cat had to be rushed to the vet yesterday for breathing problems, I spilled coffee all over my laptop. And lately I have been having such a hard time getting dressed, walking, taking care of myself. So I couldn't wait for my best friend to come and visit me. He is my rock. Although this past year I keep feeling like he thinks I over react to everything. He is always saying I am. And lately he hasn't said it but I think its cause I keep bringing up that he says it. He always come during the summer and I just cant wait to see him. I need so much help its crushing me to have my girlfriend do the basic things I need. Like washing my body. It hurts so much in a way I can't explain to him. So when he starts with his yearly I don't know when I can come, I have to ask my boss, blah blah. I am asking him to come in just over a month. I mean it take longer than a month to ask your boss? wtf. sorry if im not making sense ive been taking flexeril and its making me feel out of it. I miss him so much that I cry. And he is like I miss you too but whats the point in crying. I wish he could understand that I need him more than he needs me. And that it hurts...
I just want to be healthy so I don't need anyone anymore. (I mean at least not physically need them) All these pills and remicade every six weeks and I still cant myself lunch some days....He says that he is a such nice guy and that he is always in trouble. But I'm not angry, I'm jut hurting. Feeling like someone i sick of your crying, just makes you want to hang up every time you start to cry. I feel so alone all the time...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i want to scream!