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Having a very hard day

Jessica-Cornejo
Jessica-Cornejo
I've been having a bad day. Everything hurts all the time. My cat had to be rushed to the vet yesterday for breathing problems, I spilled coffee all over my laptop. And lately I have been having such a hard time getting dressed, walking, taking care of myself. So I couldn't wait for my best friend to come and visit me. He is my rock. Although this past year I keep feeling like he thinks I over react to everything. He is always saying I am. And lately he hasn't said it but I think its cause I keep bringing up that he says it. He always come during the summer and I just cant wait to see him. I need so much help its crushing me to have my girlfriend do the basic things I need. Like washing my body. It hurts so much in a way I can't explain to him. So when he starts with his yearly I don't know when I can come, I have to ask my boss, blah blah. I am asking him to come in just over a month. I mean it take longer than a month to ask your boss? wtf. sorry if im not making sense ive been taking flexeril and its making me feel out of it. I miss him so much that I cry. And he is like I miss you too but whats the point in crying. I wish he could understand that I need him more than he needs me. And that it hurts...
I just want to be healthy so I don't need anyone anymore. (I mean at least not physically need them) All these pills and remicade every six weeks and I still cant myself lunch some days....He says that he is a such nice guy and that he is always in trouble. But I'm not angry, I'm jut hurting. Feeling like someone i sick of your crying, just makes you want to hang up every time you start to cry. I feel so alone all the time...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i want to scream!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Jessica, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It seems like people who do not suffer with a chronic illness do not understand what we go through. I think that's with most everybody. I know I have lost a couple of very good friends (at least I thought they were) because of my illness. I also think some guys really don't have a clue as to what it feels like to have this illness. It affects mostly women, so they don't get the feelings of helplessness.

Please hang in there..... my thoughts and prayers are with you. I know it can be hard at times. I'm glad you wrote because you're not alone. People in this group are here to support you and help you in any way they can.

Sending gentle hugs your way!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you're going through this and I thank you for venting to us and sharing your pain with us. If anyone can understand and relate to what you're going through it is us fibromites at DS! I know it may sound stupid, but it really is helpful...remember to stop, close your eyes, cover your ears and just breath deeply. When things get sooo bad I want to scream I do this. Immediately I am taken to a place where time will stop momentarily and I can re-center myself. Close your eyes, cover your ears, be still, and just breath. Don't open your eyes, or uncover your ears, or stop the deep breathing until you feel ready to be back in your environment. Do this as often as you need. Something this small and simple can really help you get through these terrible moments as they come one by one.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree 100% fibrogirl. Meditation helps tremendously!
Jessica-Cornejo
Jessica-Cornejo
thanks so much that's why I immediately came here. Cause this is the first place in a very long that I don't feel alone. Would it make a difference if he was my boyfriend? Could I be upset with him then for not acting like he can't wait to come?
Sandika
Sandika
i understand it sometimes seems like everything hits us at once; then we get stressed and then the fibro flares show up.
i saw my therapist a few weeks ago; after being very depressed this winter. she also suggested meditation and i have been doing it. it does help in the moment.
check on youtube; there are some nice relaxing vidoes to meditate with there.
i know that is not the answer, just something maybe along with a very warm bath that might help relax you a little.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think if he is your boyfriend he needs to be more caring and supportive, however, some guys are just not capable of that. But you have every right to be upset with him whether he's your boyfriend or not.

I have found that if someone in my family or a close friend doesn't understand what I'm going through, I provide them with has much written material on my illness as possible. Sometimes this helps and sometimes not....but maybe it's worth a try.

Remember - you didn't ask for your illness and you don't deserve to be treated as if what you're experiencing is minor or not important. You deserve love, caring and support!
Jessica-Cornejo
Jessica-Cornejo
I am actually taking celexa I wasn't doing so great last year. I also have ulcerative colitis, and rheumatoid arthritis. I use to feel like 'what's the point of living a life like this?" I'm doing better, even when I want to give up I just keep pushing on. I mean no more infections all the time, no more over night visits at the hospital. But unfortunately I guess its turned me into a cry baby. sigh.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's okay to cry. Don't let anyone tell you that you're a cry baby. At times, crying is very helpful.
Sandika
Sandika
sweetie, you have a lot on your plate. it's very normal to feel like giving up. just know people do love you and wish they could help but really don't know how. just keep a check on the depression...it is hard when there is so much to deal with.
Jessica-Cornejo
Jessica-Cornejo
thanks everyone im actually watching funny videos on youtube now. hehe
deleted_user
deleted_user
watching funny videos is a gr8 thing. when i'm down, and/or battling loneliness and isolation i find ways to imuse myself, usually with funny online videos (the best ones are watching pets/animals and babies/kids), or putting on a good comendy video. these are the simplest and fastest ways to cheer us up. i hope ur evening/night goes better than ur day! :)
Jessica-Cornejo
Jessica-Cornejo
thank you so much, its just hard to make people understand when we are barely holding on by a thread that the littlest things can make us upset. at least the steroid shot they gave my kitty seems to be working. I was really scared.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly what you mean. I've been put through a lot of stress over the past year and I have had my moments. And of course, stress doesn't help our condition. Hope you have a better night and enjoy watching those funny videos. :)

I hope your kitty will be okay......
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh i'm so glad your kitty is doing okay and i hope things continue to go well for him/her. i love cats and animals too. i have two cats (Booger, 11 & Gizmo, 3) and a dog (Bailey, 7). My daughter (5), and my pets keep me moving and going. i doubt i'd be able to get through a single day without them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hope this finds you doing better. I am sorry that you are going through all of this. Having so many health conditions sucks.
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