I finally had to accept that I am really stressed by interacting with EVERYONE I KNOW!!! This has made me so sad and depressed, I can't tell you. I have no suggestions, only a lot of empathy. I'm very sorry this is happening to you.

Family visits can be a source of stress for many. Just read all the stories around holiday times.

I'm sensitive too emotionally and physically and can pick up on other's emotions and vibes and take things to heart too easily though I have been working on it.
. It's important to protect ourselves and separate from that if we can.
It's easier said than done. I get exhausted just being on the phone to my parents. Some people are more difficult than others. Bad energy.

Maybe You can try imagining yourself with an invisible shield that deflects others energy and negativity. Visualization technique.
Strengthen and ground yourself before visiting people.
I often prepare myself before phone calls to parents by doing some meditation and breathing exercise. Visualization.
But I am not always strong emotionally and I allow them to get to me.

Make visits shorter. Don't do them late in the day when your energy is lower and pain is probably higher.
Maybe them visiting you on your "territory" maybe an option. People act differently in other's homes. There are pros and cons to people coming to visit you rather you visit them. At least you can leave their home whenever you feel inclined.
Or just meet up for lunch somewhere or a park. Those places are "neutral".
It's not often I see my inlaws but it stresses me when I do.
One time we all met up at a restaurant for a meal which for me worked out way better than visiting their home. I was more relaxed.

Prepare yourself more before visiting. Do some meditation perhaps. Strengthen your inner self.
Remind yourself that whatever their mood or vibe they are giving it's not for you to take personally. It's them and their thoughts and perceptions that they create in their own minds. It's not to do with you.

If you don't want to visit your father alone. Then follow your instinct and don't.
Minimize contact If this person is a source of stress for you. Family or not you still have to protect your well being. Listen to your inner voice.
Don't allow guilt or negative thoughts get in the way.

I did two phone conversations with my parents this month.
Far Too much. I Won't do one now for a couple of months. I just can't deal.

I really understand where you are coming from. It's not easy when we are so sensitive.
You gotta look after you.

I hope the pain eases up. Do a lovely hot bubble bath. Play some nice music. Let the negative stuff from the visit go. Focus on something positive.

I hope you feel better soon.

Family is the leading source of mental illness. I'm quoting a shrink on that.

Being around my fam can be so upsetting I haven't been around them voluntarily much since, oh, I left home at 17.... My mom's side is awesome bu tthey live near Dad's, so, ick ugh yuck argh barf, no!

Take care of YOU, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Family stress is the *worst* for me. I was doing awesome keeping FM at bay till some fam stuff hit me back in 2009 ....

Don't take on what's not yours. Imagine you are in an egg (appropriate for Easter).... and the outside is all shiny mirrors and you can see out but nothing comes in unless you LET it in.... you are safe in your egg of mirrors and light.... it goes with you everywhere... I find this a useful image, have for a decade now. Just Mirrors... they don't see me, I don't have to let them "in"....

Like my mother, and Nature, I am sensitive to the energies of people around me---survival strategy in childhood---but I like my Mirror Egg. Or the Light Egg works (it's not a mirror, it's just clean white light and air)....

I echo Nature, put yourself in a "zone" where you feel safe, centered, whole as possible.... Meditation, prayer, chanting, rehearsing what you'll say, all things I'm learning to do and stick to doing.

Or, be like my mother, who takes things a bit literally at times, and decides that these "psychic vampires" need her to throw up a "psychic crucifix".... whatever works. (Mom watches a LOT of horror movies.)

I was loving the egg visualisation until i got to the bit about the vampires lol!! I have a thing for vampire horror.
I suspect the egg one might be a more calming visualisation though :)
Thanks for these. Perfect tools for me to use on Saturday when the family descend. :)

I can relate to what you are saying in a big way. If my mother comes over I feel like she has come to judge. She always picks out some flaw in my home, or discovers that the tv was left on, my baseboards have dust or I am way behind in my laundry and makes a remark. I haven't had them over in about 18 months. I used to go crazy cleaning very nook and cranny so she would have nothing to complain about but decided it's not worth it. I only go to her house or we meet at a restaurant.

Being around one of my two daughters stresses me out so much that I rarely will see her without my husband present. As soon as he leaves earshot she has a tendency to drag me into her drama. When my husband is with me she is as sweet as pie, so that is my strategy which was my husband's idea. It sounds horrible, but it is self preservation.

As far as family parties, I was always the one putting them on and am still expected to. I just don't have it in me right now. For the first time, I decided for Easter we are all going for Brunch at a restaurant. They never understood how much it took out of me to entertain 12 people. One full day cleaning, one full day groceries and cooking and hosting and then one day cleaning up after everything was over.

Do you have anyone to bring with you as a buffer when you see stressful family members? I have found this to be a good tactic. Sorry you are having a difficult time, it always hits home around the holidays. The guilt!!

Nature and Leo are dead on,take care of you and your emotions.

I am much better when I keep my family at bay. My bro and his family are plain toxic, I see them 1 or 2 x's a year.

Happyface, this is me. I used to have so much energy and would do the family parties, taking after my mom who LOVES to entertain, but now growing older.

I used to think that I had to keep up the traditions, but no. I am tired and just cannot deal with all these family members in my house at the same time.

I will do a party for my youngest son in July and that will be it for the year. I am totally learning to take care of me!

Wow...thank you all so much for your helpful posts.

Family can be so hard to deal with and even harder to disassociate with. I find that I get a lot of stress/anxiety more so before hand... like if I know some family members are coming to visit one of my kids for their birthday, I'll start stressing about it like five days ahead of time. It's the same for me if we are visiting them. So, thank you for this post and to all that replied, as I've gained some good suggestions!

sun, same way here!! Better than I used to be. I have left way too many gatherings in tears.

Thanks so much for bringing this up as I was recently dealing with similar issues regarding visits with friends and family. I, too, am also sensitive to others feelings, vibes, etc. I sometimes think I read too much into things so I can definitely understand and appreciate the advice given. I did almost laugh out loud when I read Leos post regarding cause for mental illness...thanks so much for that, Leo! I for sure can relate to that statement. I wish I had some advice but as this is something I struggle with myself, I can only let you know you're not alone and thank you for sharing this. Grateful hugs

ANother big shout-out to all of us whose families are why we wish they'd make that Magic Pill TO Cure All, ( including families)....

Great technique besides Magic's amazing "virus" (I love that) is also to say, "I hope you don't mind, I'm getting over a stomach bug," and then just go to the bathroom and hang out there with your laptop! (This is what my one BFF does, and it drives her family bat-guano, but she said as long as she flushes a few times an hour, it's a great time to catch up on Facebook, do her nails, give herself a facial... of course she has a bigger bathroom than my micro-bathroom, but hey....)

Big hugs to all,
Leo

After one too many visits involving my evil sister, I've started suggesting neutral spots to meet like Starbucks (get the coffee, drink it and get out) or maybe breakfast out. What little energy I have seems to be in the morning, and with enough coffee and a pain pill I can handle her for a couple of hours. I only "play nice" for our elderly mother, who has finally figured out that sis is NOT a nice person.

I like the "gee, I seem to have a stomach bug" excuse, and with a few graphic details of the symptoms, is enough to put people off for a while anyway. At least until I feel more in control of the situation.

Lynn, I do this all the time!

Lets meet out so I can GO HOME when I want. Smart!!

I avoid family as much as possible.. Sad to say.. but puts me into a tail spin.... Esp kids... uhg.. sad .. but it is what it is... My grandkids are cute as a bug.. but.. they get into everything..

By the time they leave.. I need a half of valium.. :(