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Fibro & dealing with relationships w ppl-Question

Ocean-Wave
Ocean-Wave

I life with a relative who gets angry with me that I'm unable to do the never ending list of tasks she want. Today she asks me to do something that I couldn't do and I get berated and devalued because I can't do what she wants. I can't make her have empathy, sympathy, or understanding because she's not capable. But I'm left feeling worthless and she's angry all the time. I apologized for "not being able to do her task" today and refused my apology. Even in the best of relationships, this dis-ease of the body affects my relationships. I want to be able to do more, but, I have to respect my bodies wishes. Does anyone have any advice on how to manage relationships with friends/family who don't understand? I can't move out any time soon, but I need some guidence on how to deal with her. Any thoughts?

Blondie16
Blondie16
Be honest with them. Sit them down individually and tell them how you're feeling. Explain that you are limited and discuss the disease with them. But you also need to try. Do maybe one or two things to help out everyday, but explain that you can't do everything she asks of you. The problem is that you need to try to keep up with moving around and working out, even when you're in pain. Don't push yourself too hard, but try to keep up and push through the pain. You got this!
AutumnSong
AutumnSong
Sometimes when they just won't get what we are going through it is because they don't want to. You can't change how they act but you can change how you respond. Tell yourself that it is okay to say no. And if they want to yell at you then maybe you need to leave space between you and this person. You can love someone but not be able to have a relationship with them. Most of all do what your body tells you. If you can do something then do it but if you can't say no.
Shakota6
Shakota6
You can only state the same thing over and over. I suggest looking at the usual task list of the relative you live with, and then assess your real capabilities on average (which are probably less than you think) and tell the relative: on a daily basis I am able to do x, y, and z. (if that is possible).
Somehow making things routine can help, again: if that's possible. I hope you don't have to struggle with this too much longer.
Fantod
Fantod
I agree with Shakota - Look at the list and do what you can within reason. have a daily routine of chores that I do. Depending on how I feel, I switch things out. Maybe you could establish *some* sort of daily routine that will stop some of the abuse. Any good for you for standing up for yourself. I'm sorry that your relative is so horrible when it comes to understanding your health situation. Take care.
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