Hello, Jujubear, welcome.

I assume your family knows about your diagnosis? Since only you know what does and doesn't hurt, I think you'll have to explain it quite directly. Maybe explain that generalised muscle and skin soreness is very common in fibro, and that even loving things like a hug or a squeeze of the shoulder can hurt. If hugging is important, maybe suggest that rather than pulling you into an embrace, maybe they can open their arms so you can initiate the hug, and then they hug you back as strongly or as gently as you hug them?

I'm an extremely non-touchy-feely person even without fibro, so I'm one to thrust out a hand so I can shake hands with people when I can get away with it. And I live in a culture where the typical greeting among close friends and family is giving three "kisses" (touching alternating cheeks together while making a kissing sound in the air), so I don't have to worry about a lot of physical contact, luckily.

With my partner I did just have to explain what is and isn't possible. I still have to remind her to be more gentle at times, but fibro also has better and worse days. It's not like she know inherently when I'm extra sore, and she always clearly feels guilty when I indicate a loving squeeze was a bit too much, so I'm never upset with her about it. It has to be an ongoing dialogue in our relationship.

Hope you'll find a way to talk to them so you can be comfortable. And welcome again.

Hello! Welcome! If you can buy "Fibro for Dummies", it's useful for us *and* for others. You can also just say you simply are "not feeling too huggy" right now and eventually people seem to get the hint, from me....

You can also do the "shoulder touch" hug, which my hubby has perfected. It's like the classic "man hug" in one sense. You angle and aim so that all you touch are maybe, briefly, your shoulders for a second. I'm a big hugger, but ow ow ow sometimes anyway.

Jujubear welcome to the group. I have told my family to ask before hugging me. I say I'm huggable, or gentle hugs, or air hugs only today. That way they know what I can stand. It becomes a sincere way of communicating that you really love them and want their affection.

Welcome to the group!

Try describing it as the worse case of flu that they have ever experienced that continues 24/7. Or, how badly a person feels after an intense workout at the gym the next day. If nothing else, just make it a habit to say something before you are touched. Take care.

Hello and welcome! I explain it like this: imagine you have a a really bad bruise (insert your trigger points here) and the slighteat touch feels like you were just punched in it... now imagine the worst sunburn ever and a touch or clothes or even the wind on bad days, feels like course sandpaper against it... but wait for it... now imagine you just worked out for 5 hours after not working out for 10 years, and that's what i feel like... lol.
I have a really hard time with my kids on my bad days bc they want to run up and hug me or play with me and i just can't. :( a couple of weeks ago i was sitting on the couch and my almost 3 year old pushed down on the top of my leg to get up there with me and i started bawling bc it hurt so bad. Then she started crying bc she had hurt me... lol

Sometimes you have to use their own pain as an example, like a tooth ache, headache, the flu, etc, and try to amplify what their going through. For example:
When I was hanging out with my aunt recently, she ended up spraining her ankle while trying to take a photo and stepped backwards into a ditch. When her ankle was swollen, stiff, and painful to the touch, while changing the wrapping she happen to ask what fibro is like... I told her to imagine that sprain all over her body. She responded with big eyes: "OUCH!" Suddenly she was the nicest person after that and told me she admired me for always finding a way to smile during the day despite feeling so crummy and doesn't know how I do it. :).

My explanation for fibromyalgia is this: It feels like you have the flu multiplied by 1oo and then somebody picked you up and threw you down a flight of stairs multiple times, and you then were beaten with a bat while someone put cement in all of your muscles. I explain the burning sensation (allodynia) like this: It feels like someone shaved my skin off and put salt in it.

As far as my family goes, they wait for me to initiate the hugs. My husband had to retrain himself because he used to like to tap me playfully on the butt. Now he walks up to me and rubs me on the head instead. lol

https://www.verywell.com/seven-types-of-fibromyalgia-pain-716138

Great article about the different types of fibromyalgia.

I mean different types of fibromyalgia pain.

Cocoa, I've said something similar to that before lol... but instead of cement I said tar. I like to use the thrown down stairs and baseball bat lines a lot. Problem is, not a lot of people seem to relate to it, I've noticed, unless they've actually fallen down some stairs before. Sigh...