somedays all i can do is think about doing something! Even if i can't get dressed & go for a walk I visaully go thru the movements!
& when i can't do yoga I atleast watch the dvd anyway!
& now that i don't have a car or$$ to travel from state to state, I watch the travel channel!
AND DO THE BEST I CAN DO EA DAY!

still cannot accept it. hence the depression.

It's crushing, no doubt about it.

I think after being sick for 10 years and not being able to work for 3 has made me finally realize that I'm not going to get better.

I think I've accepted it. But I still struggle with it every day.

Never say die.

Don't apologize for being sick.

Do what you can.

Dream what you will.

Keep an eye out for flexible opportunities. You never know what will come along..

Think of others - it'll distract you from your own worries.

Pray.

No Devon, this is not how it's supposed to be. You have a choice. You can give up or fight.

Basket put it very well. We cannot anticipate what happens to us in life. Usually the things we worry MAY happen don't and we are blindsided by something else, like illness. Do the best you can and dont beat yourself up for what you cant do. I know, much easier said than done. For myself its especially difficult because I am only in my 20's.. SO I am already finished! But, I try to remember that we as chronically ill work DARN HARD to maintain, we work HARDER than those who are healthy because we have to. Take each day one at a time. Find things to be happy about. Enjoy nature and creation. Be a good friend and mate....but rest rest rest when you have to !
HUGS
JBEAN

JBean...thank you. I can't imagine what it must be like for you having it at your age. Here I am crusty at 41...you know?

It's amazing what 24 hours can do. Yesterday I was about an 8 on the scale...today I'm closer to 4, and I feel like I can manage. It's the never knowing when it will end. And worrying that it won't get better anymore.

Thank you everyone.

Devon, your life may change but don't be despondent. You will find a way to adapt, a way to enjoy the new things life will bring you. Try to start each day with a gratitude list. I won't tell you it's not tough, I struggle every day over the grief and loss of the person I once was and have come to know (do it better some days than others) that the best thing I can do for myself is to accept that which I cannot change. I found a lot of hope from reading Eckhart Tolle's book - The New Earth and many other books dealing with awareness. You get a great big hug and one to your partner too for being so supportive.

Wow, does this hit home! When I was 40 I received my Bachelor's degree and since then was working as a graphic designer. Because of fibro, I lost my job...I could not longer concentrate and remember things. As a result, the mistakes I made at work was costing my employer money. My only option was to file for disability. Those two years of waiting for approval were grueling to say the least. I felt useless, financially dependent on family, and not worth a damn. I went into counseling for a year and a half because of the depression and anxiety I was experiencing and it was the best thing I could have done! Today I still have the fibro, of course...but I'm now on disability, living on my own, purchased a vehicle and once again feel independent. I have those days where it's almost impossible to get out of bed, but I force myself to. On those days I don't overdo it and have realized my limitations. I've discovered other things besides my lost career that give me joy and a sense of accomplishment. I no longer roll around in the self-pity that I was in for so long. I've realized I have a life, although it may be different, and have adjusted accordingly. Grief doesn't have to come from losing a loved one to death. I grieved the loss of my "other" life...I experienced the process from shock to anger, to depression and finally acceptance. Grief IS a process that takes time, but with the help of therapy, I was able to make it through it. This may be something to consider...it worked for me! I may still be in pain from this awful illness, but I've learned to live with it...LIVE being the key word!!! I'm not dead yet!!!

I too am in your situation but without a partner or husband. I am starting to think that someday in the near future I may be on disability also. I have been forced to give up my single living arrangement in my own condo and make plans to move in with my elderly mom. I have tried to set new goals and dreams for my self since the old goals and aspirations are dead since I can no longer work in the occupation I once did before. My quality of life has changed but I am trying to come to terms with that also. Good luck and don't give up. Donna/NJ

I'm going back to Basket's first response - I have learned that I don't necessarily have to give up my dreams, but I may have to adapt them to my new reality. I am fortunate to have a job I love, and last year I attained the title I've been seeking for many many years - Director of Human Resources. Sounds like big deal, but when it first became my dream, I was dreaming of a large company and a six-figure salary. Instead, I work for a small company of about 50 people, and make less than half of what I dreamed of. Still, I attained the dream - it's just taken a turn I didn't see coming, because I no longer have the stamina to compete in a world of young healthy new college graduates in perpetual motion.

I still have dreams of travel - and I haven't, and won't, give them up. However, the where, the when, and the how are in flux at the moment. I started with a three-day trip to the Bahamas in 2005, a trip that at one time would have been spent with long walks on the beach, and parties until the wee hours. Instead, it was a trip of bus trips to scenic and interesting places, and short walks to bus stops to get around the island. But the resort we stayed in was wonderful, and we enjoyed the trip and the change to spend time with people who have an entirely different lifestyle, and an entirely different paradigm. My next trip will be a cruise, and we have already discussed with our cruisemates the possibility/probability that I may at some point say "let's spend the day watching a movie in our room!" and that has to be OK, because that means I need to rest and recoup. Because we have that understanding up front, it's going to be OK. We don't have to spend all of our time together - it's seven days, three ports of call, and a big, big ship with a balcony room. We're going to have fun no matter what - it just won't be the same as when we first envisioned it.

I didn't mean to go on and on so I'm going to stop now - just wanted to offer a couple of examples of how you can still have the dreams - you just may have to adapt them to your new reality. Never, never give up the dreams - just be creative and figure out how it works with the life you have now.

there are days when i am very frustrated with this illness. i do all the good things i should. vitamins, healthy diet, yoga, good drs. sleep regime, with xyrem, and still i am not as i would like to be. sick for 23 years and still have trouble accepting what has happened to us. to me. i am doing better than last year. this i can swear. so do try to get help from a sleep specialist. it's the thing that made the biggest difference for me. acceptance takes a little longer, i guess. dreams continue. we are not living the lives we promised ourselves. but who is? specially now when everyone has had to compromise what they are doing or being. we wont die from this. we will find solutions. we will get help and get better. try xyrem.

im sorry your at that place. but we all have to be there sometime, its not an easy place to be or get through,but comming here and writting your feelings will help when you think no one else knows what your going through or how you feel ,we do. but know you will come through this by asking these questions every question that comes to you ask it. thats what i did and this site helped me through the darkest days. please try to wake up every day with a positive attitude cause the day is going to be hard and try to bring you down so try to start out with hope ok.be strong and you will get through. hugs

I know how you feel. By the time I was diagnosed I was already at the point of not being able to do much and now I am trying to find something to make it bearable. Its hard to look at your life and at 27 feel this bad and not be able to do anything. I am now searching all options and trying to find what works for me and it is very depressing i wish you all the best and big hugs

I just posted a thread that deals, in some ways, with this topic. It was written for parents of children with disabilities, but after I read it over, I realized that there is wisdom in the words for those of us who are ourselves disabled a well.

Check it out - hope it helps - even a little bit.

http://dailystrength.org/c/Fibromyalgia/forum/6486638-ot-changes-and-uncertainty