Worse. My hubby already worked P/T from home. Now he's always here. And I've been more restricted. And I am going bonkers b/c I can't take a nice gentle healing walk without having to jump off the trail that NOBODY used to use...

So... I am learning to use my little yard as my oasis. My hubby is learning that if he does work after 7 PM in our house, he'll be stuck till midnight, and maybe he'd rather sleep, so he just turns off his work computer at 7 PM (or I'll unplug it for him, basically).

But my stress is super-high for many other reasons, and it's hardt os y if the lockdown did/didn't is/isn't a huge factor.

My advice? Set a timer. When it says YOU ARE DONE... You're done. That's it. If you quit work at a certain time in the office-bound days, then you quit that time *now*. Throw a cloth over the work-related stuff on the desk. Out of sight, out of mind. That's all that worked on y workaholic hubby, so hopefully ... ?

And tell yoru bosses, "We weren't 24-7 before, we're not 24-7 now unless you pay more." That seemed to work on my old bosses?

It's a difficult balancing act.....coping with illness, working from home......the need for connection .....actual conversation with real faces......this morning I woke up and went out on to my patio........watched the sun peeking through the trees. Everything feels so alive and fresh outside.......gives me a calm center. Helps me breathe throughout the day.

Structure coupled with flexibility is a great way to manage.......pacing really does help! I don't know what you do but would it be possible to RESET your work hours? By hitting reset maybe you can see what is best for your employer and for you. Being at home can blur the lines of the clock, but your life/health would be better served by using so much of your time for rest, chores......relaxation and interaction and a more structured definitive work day. You need to turn off work and do more to help you during this time.....it's challenging no doubt! You need to be top banana and find a best workable schedule..... if you're dong so much for work that you feel dragged into the muck and mire then you need to slow that roll........into more manageable hours.

Do you have friends or family close enough that you could meet for some social time? I've seen and heard of some pretty creative ways to add more life to your days lately. Three of my friends met this week at a home with a great backyard. We brought our own brown bag lunches, listened to music, laughed and talked while enjoying her pretty back yard/ garden. We laughed and joked about buying nerf guns & posting a paper target on her big shed next time to let off some stress and frustration. Four golden girls acting up while laughing ( I shot a bb gun once when I was 8 or 9, so the nerf gun idea sounds ludicrous and fun).......we had a good day......shared some serious talk, but mostly we focused on just being in the moment.......stealing some life back and it really helped! I've felt better ever since.

Invest in you......I schedule time for cooking, for movie watching, for walks in and around my home depending on how much energy I have. I've had to socially distance for many years so I've had to learn more creative ways to take better care of myself.......BALANCE is really so important so you/we don't feel upside down wonky or sad or stressed. Figure out what you need and then begin to implement that plan. It takes time to pull it off, cause work and health will continue to interfere, but you can do it.......YOU are WORTH IT!

Advocate for yourself.......when I first became disabled I was so ill that I would only get out of my house one time for supplies/meds every 6 to 8 weeks. Gradually I made a list of small goals........one goal was to be able to join a community group for activities. Right now of course that is not possible.....safe social distancing is key to health management......but back then that one goal took me four years to achieve. Having enough health/energy to get up in the morning, get dressed, make and bring a covered dish.........drive there, participate and go back home was a lot for me, still is on so many days........but I didn't give up on me. (we're called The Owls, "older wiser laughing seniors"....I was in my early 50's at that time, never thought I'd be a senior so soon......or so disabled.......I seem pretty normal when someone is only around me for a few of my best hours of function.......but then the hammer drops and I need days to recuperate from that one activity.

I worked hard to be able to empty the dishwasher or bring a load of laundry from my room to the laundry room. I set small goals, rested often......learned genuine gratitude for every chair on the planet.....and kept going. It took me almost two years to build up the energy to be able to cook for two plus hours per week to make enough meals for the week. Before that I survived badly on packaged oatmeal, top ramen....you get the picture, not a whole lot of fresh food.......and wished that fresh produce would be airlifted and dropped over my backyard.

I think the first thing you need is some fun, more cheerleading in care of your days........be very pro you........and seek positive people out purposefully. I used to work hard on bringing more life into my home......the isolation was very hard to cope with. If you want to talk every now and again I'm always around......I had to work very hard for ten years to be able to do what I can do now.......by adding structure and balance. Over time I added houseplants, I added outdoor flowers and bushes and trees.......I started baking and cooking more......I pushed to make life fuller but in a way that I could manage still on most of the bad days. I picked a phrase "Bloom where You are Planted"......and didn't let it feel corny....or cliche. I wanted growth in every way. I planted a sunrise tree in my front yard 4 Easters ago and watch with pleasure as it grows and flourishes. By I planted I mean I bought it and two strong healthy guys delivered & planted it.......added flowers and now I have fresh flowers inside and outside......these may not be things that interest you, find hobbies that work for you. A lot of the hobbies that I used to do were beyond me ....I was a skater for almost three decades and had to stop. There were a lot of things that I couldn't successfully do any longer, I had to take time to grieve (those losses/changes) and think of new things to do to make my life satisfying and better.......and balanced. My daughter gave me a piece of art work that reads, "She believed she could, so she did.".....when I read that I cried because to me it meant that she could see that I had pressed on, that I hadn't given up........but she also understood how sick I am and how important it is to have life beyond the borders of illness.

I must be feeling pretty good today because it appears that I have written a short NOVEL.......most importantly I want you to know that I HEAR you, I get it......it's not easy and you need time to create the life you want that will help you truly thrive.........you are precious, you need some self pampering and some fun in your life to keep you uplifted! Fun for me can be as simple as sitting on that patio of mine to watch the sunrise......because I feel more centered.......calm is good!

Hugs..........lifting my glass to toast you in care what will lead you to a better/best life for you!

Thank you so much for sharing and your encouragements!

My bosses have been good to me in allowing us (and especially me) in having flexible hours even during regular working days (even before the lockdown). We don't all work "9-5", but we should be there during the same core work hours so that we could have meetings, etc. Some colleagues begin work earlier or later to accommodate their commutes, children, etc.

I've never been an early person (my circadian clock) and now that I have fibro, I have to spend so much time in the morning to do stretches and roll out the knots in my muscles just to get functional. My bosses do not know that I have fibro--they only know that I have back/neck pain issues. My colleagues begin work anywhere between 6 am and 10 am (me).

During my work hours, I am NOT constantly working non-stop, so I am not tired in that way.

In recent days, we are working on a project with a few other "partner organizations", and because some people dropped the ball, we are now about to miss deadline. Here is an example of what happened the other day: One organization sent us an email near midnight and called a meeting for 9 am the next day. So the colleagues who start work at say 6 am knew about the meeting and I didn't (because I didn't check my email until after 9 am). My colleague had to call me on the phone to notify me of the meeting.

This is not my boss's doing. This is the result of incompetent project managers. Anyway, they're asking us to all "pitch in" and work extra hard (just for the time being) to make the deadline.

Perhaps, it's because of my hyper-sensitivity to stress (due to fibro), I am reacting much more strongly (angry at their incompetence). My over-reaction is heightening my "fight or flight" response--which just makes my fibro worse.

I'm now wondering if I may have to retire significantly earlier than I had planned due to my health...

As for doing things to take care of myself...I live in an urban area and is at "ground zero" of all the protests/riots that are happening in our country. I sympathize with their cause, but do you know I am trapped in my house so that I am almost out of food? Today (Saturday), I want to go to the stores to buy some groceries, but there will be 4 protests in my area today. One intends to do a car caravan around my neighborhood 5 times today!

There have been at least 2 protests per day (one during day time, one night time) in the past few weeks. I hear chanting and honking from my windows, and helicopters circling over head. City under siege!

I'm trying to not watch the TV news. My nerves are flaring all day. I'm sure you can imagine.

Worse for me. I don’t/can’t work. My partner (Chef) has been home since April.

I’m used to being on my own 8+ hours a day at least five days a week. Now he is underfoot continually. My schedule is completely disrupted. And my household work load has increased in terms of laundry and cleaning. He doesn’t lift a finger to help even when I ask. He will and has caught up on several outstanding projects that needed doing. But God forbid he puts a dish in the dishwasher. I’m exhausted trying to keep up with his trail of stuff. I’m a neatnik and he is a slob.

And, this week it became final that his business would not survive. So even more stress while he figures out what to do now.

I’ve been in quarantine since March and must continue it. I can’t take much more of this upheaval.....

Sorry to hear about your situation, Fantod. I'm grateful that I still have a job, although my company is giving everyone pay cuts.

I do tend to work longer hours now that I'm working from home. I am an introvert, so have so many people in the house all the time has been wearing on me for various reasons. And yes, that stress has caused fibro pain to increase a little.

So, for me, I am trying "tea and coloring", which was suggested to me to help with stress. I don't have the tea yet, but I have been coloring. I love it. My mind goes in, focusing on just the coloring, and yet it's relaxing because coloring does require much thought. I just get in a place behind myself and color one page each day.

since that long entry i wrote i crashed for a bit.......wipe out......... woke up in the afternoon to a darkened sky and heavy rains........i thought how long have i been sleeping, thought it was already nighttime at first then realized it was 3:30.......the storm hit, the rain rained and then the sun came out like a ginormous light bulb in the sky.......then it started to rain again. weather is so crazy and messes with one's fibro body......ain't nothing so swampy as barometric pressure fluctuations.

with health issues it is hard to get late breaking anything, because we function better when we have enough time to prep our selves, homes, work for something. so when a giant ball is thrown at us we have a really hard time handling it........throws us off, ups the brain fog.......is not good. We feel like we woke up already behind........and can't do things in a split second. So there's added frustration and chaos in our tired minds. Argghhhhhhhhhh. But we can rest, regroup, reconvene and do better. I've tried to learn that I may hit the wall in frustration, but in truth I CAN manage. I just need to get past it and try again. Usually I find that I can.......work it out, fix it, make it happen. So because I usually can I trust that I will this time and next time and the time after that. I don't know if this will make sense because I'm feeling knee deep in brain fog, but knowing that I can eventually is very reassuring to me. I just need to slow down, meditate for a while and then start over. We all have difficult circumstances and here we can be united in finding our way through.

Thinking of all everyone shared here, hoping that supplies could be obtained, that other problems seemed better after rest........tomorrow I have a doctor appointment and I have to BELIEVE that I can manage to be dressed and ready to leave on time to make it. Lay the clothes out today.......shower tonight, not in the am and so forth..........so I can move really slowly tomorrow so I CAN manage to get my tail there on time. wish me luck.

coloring IS awesome, pre sick i used to love puzzles, since brain fog i found myself throwing one big box of puzzle pieces into the fireplace. and then i thought "color"......it is peaceful, it is a way to self soothe........it helps me lessen the need to take pain meds. and it's a sense of accomplishment all rolled in to crayons and pictures. a great alternative prescription for health management. .......later, virtual hugs. i'm going to take a nice long nap. until tomorrow prolly........