Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
It's been raining all night and morning here.
Hubby and I have been in an ongoing argument since yesterday about pain. He claims that all pain is just pain and compared fibro to body building.... and body building hurts, asked, if they can "get used to it" why can't you? Boy, you should see the steam coming out of my ears. I told him body builders hurt the day after their workout, but the pain is gone after that. Our fibro pain never goes away. Plus they don't have to manage like 10,000 symptoms with 100 specialists like the way we fibro warriors have to! Do body builders end up suicidal?? No, they do not. If they did, it wouldn't be such a popular sport!! DUHHHH
So then he went on to argue about people with bad knees and amputees and more, that if they can handle it, why can't *I* (notice the accusation here is that I can't handle it). Once again I told him, they don't have to manage hundreds of symptoms, or chronic fatigue, or juggle the many specialists. Do you know anyone with a bum knee who is suicidal?? Nope. Because they have ONE specialist for their condition... plus they get a knee replacement and whallah they are walking again, their whole body isn't affected. Neither are their organs, they don't have migraines too, or IBS, or skin pain, hair pain, eye pain, fingers hurt, feet hurt, hips, muscle pain, brain fog, sjogrens (and countless other overlapping diseases). I can't believe we are even having this discussion.
Further more.... the proof of my daily productivity (eg, returning to school, horse therapy, living out here in the jungle boonies which is so much work, etc., etc., etc.) should be a witness that I've never let fibro get me down! Every day I look forward to the next day. So WTH, dude. This argument shouldn't even be happening. This shouldn't even be a topic! I hate how we fibro people constanty have to prove ourselves "good enough" especially to our closest ones.
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We're all troubled.WSo, to remind ourselves we're not at rock bottom (this is a reverse optimism thing I learned as a kid):We are not living on the island of Krakatoa when the volcano goes boom!Yeah, okay, that sucks.***Toay in 1942, Pierre Laval announced that the way to free France was for Germany to win WW2. Pierre did not win a lot of friends. When the war ended, quite quickly he was tried...
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Another day, another ouchie?My bruised achilles tendon (don't ask) makes my foot numb. Wonky on meds, whacked it.Now, as to fibro:A lot of reports are going around some parts of social media that fibro (and dang near anything else) are caused by post-Covid, post-flu, post-vaccinations, post-pick-something.1. Your risk of death or serious complications beyond "ow, that shot hurt!" are typically...
1. Having him come to a doctor's appt. to be educated about pain and fibro?
2. Going to couple's counseling with a therapist who is familiar with fibro?
Is he interested in being educated or saving the relationship? If he is he really
needs to make some changes in the ways that he treats you.
I am very sorry that you are going through this
We've tried couples counseling several times, he'll only go for a bit and then quit. I tried asking him to go back with me, he said no.
I don't know what else to do but start talking to a divorce lawyer at this point.
Take 5 spring loaded clothespins and clamp them onto his first digit knuckles near his fingertips.
Ask him to wear these puny little clothespins for 1 minute. Most men cannot wear them beyond 15 seconds. And when your hubs is asking to take them off, make him wear them 15 seconds longer. Reminding him that we can never take off our pain. EVER!
I did this back when I was first dx and my hubby was trying to understand it all. He has never said anything but encouraging words since then.
Blue, I am so sorry your hubs was being an ignorant fool here.
But to fight with you over this is just appalling. I for one wouldn't tell him where I was going, I'd just grab my keys and let him figure it out.
I pray he gains some insight into what chronic pain is. Hopefully he won't have to learn the hard way. And I will pray for you to have some peace around there.
Thank you, 3LB.
Gentlest of hugs <3
He's an idiot. CHRONIC pain is it's own monster. Everything else is different.
Three months of sleep deprivation stinks, but the way pain messes with sleep year in, year out...is a whole different creature.
Pain is hard to judge against each other. I've been in car accidents and offered major pain meds...that I didn't need. Then my pulled finger could send me to my knees...but the pain was brief...and I could wrap my hand up at night and sleep.
But intense or not. Five seconds or 5 hours, pain that goes on for years...is just so totally different. Even if it comes and goes. Especially if it comes and goes. Because it makes long range planning go out the window.
How would he like it if he never knew if the brakes in his car would work until he got up and tried them. Then if they didn't work, he had to find a different way into work that day??? A different way to get home. That's the day that he wouldn't be able to sleep that day. Had to disappoint people that he cared about time after time after time??
Then he gets to overhear "Oh, John is sick again today? What's it this time? You're so great for putting up with him for so long."
You're so right about not being able to make plans of any kind...we never know what the next day will be like... or even later that day. All I can say is "maybe-- I'll try". He always argues that I just need to put in the effort and get up earlier. REALLY!? Fibro wakes me up at 5 on a regular basis but it takes the effort of all of heaven's army to drag me out of the house. Seriously... every morning is like running a marathon just to pull myself together and be ready and try and leave before the stroke of noon. And by then half the day is already gone. (facepalm)