Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
My mother started an argument with me over rice. (Yes, you read that correctly. Rice) She hasn't spoken to me in about a week. Tomorrow I have to get laser eye surgery, and I have to go alone. I just don't understand what I do to deserve this. Anytime we have a disagreement or argument she holds a grudge with me. One time we went a month without talking to me. We live in a small house so we pass each other often and she doesn't even make eye contact with me. She also acts extra nice and does nice things for my siblings when she fights with me. She does this with my siblings sometimes but not as bad as with me. I just don't get it. Sometimes I feel like if I disappeared she wouldn't even care. All I want to do is get drunk and sleep, but I know it will make me feel worse. I slept over 14 hours last night and I've been in bed all day. My anxiety and depression is so bad. I feel like I'm on the edge and I don't know what to do. I have no relationship with her. If we didn't look so much alike I'd assume I was adopted... I hate this feeling..
-C
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
If it's just a matter of how rice was prepared or the taste of the finished dish, then her behavior is out of normal range. Usually only a slight complaint & request to do better next time is all that's needed. Is your mother feeling well? Perhaps she is suffering the effects of a sign of dementia or Alzheimer's? It could be a range of medical issues which independently cause her to feel irritable. I agree that rice is a petty matter to trigger the static of anger, but something else is missing in your story, very important too...and I feel that this is all associated with her health condition(s) or it could be part of a medicine reaction. I don't think that this is a problem where you're at fault. Rest easy :-) If she goes on about it, give space, take a deep breath & distract by finding something peaceful & soothing to think or do.
You mention that you each look alike, and amazingly this is often a matter of drama within close bloodlines; personality traits have generated much interest of faultfinding & cruel blame during times of disagreements. This is inborn behavior too. Sharing common features is like looking in a mirror of oneself, invites reflections of low-self esteem. Blows the mind at times too! I feel that this is, also, all an exaggeration of moods because of too much time spent together. Have you considered giving space between you? See that as a fact? Kind of strange to watch when people react to the conflict of sharp types of common personality features too :-). Look alike, sound alike, almost like arguing with self, haha! All of my family share very sculpted & similar features, so I understand how this goes.
I hope for all to go well with your doctor's appointment. And please reconsider not self-medicating with strong drinks. Not useful. Though, I've often thought of the same for myself. Geez! I know, I know....don't do it though. Find that calming, defensive, non-impulsive, defense mechanisms. Take a legal sedative. Pray. I totally understand your challenges, dear one. Been there. Pray for things to improve & God bless!
Remiah (((Ћŭ❡)))
@ tiger, you ask a good question. Moving out would be a good idea. Though, I suspect that this is really not an option at the present time.
I just wish I didn't have to go through this. I've never known love or received affection from my mother. It's like I don't even know her. It's to the point where my fifteen year old sister is starting to have problems with her. She sees the way she acts and doesn't want to be around her. She told me she can't wait until college so she can stay in a dorm.
My mom is ruining her relationship with her kids and I know that until I am on my own her and I will always clash.
As you consider her behavior as a part of menopausal symptoms, then what is there for her to do other than go through the process of this profound biological change. No different than what she had to put up with as you went through the course of childhood, youthful adolescence, puberty & young adulthood. Surely there were times when you flew off the handle and she had to stand your own temper. Take a fair view that you've not yet raised a family yourself, and this is difficult work. It may just be a useful time to scope through family resources which involves literature on family education. Try to put yourself in Mom's shoes for better understanding, at least until you are able to move out & manage a life without her. It's really awful that this is depressing you. And just to add this, during menopause women are at an increased risk for dementia, so don't rule out that. And I would certainly encourage your mom to chat with her PD about her health.
Best to you,
==8❤8==
There's a lot on google about people who 'use' the silent treatment to punish others
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145