Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
I will try to make this quick. I am 30 years old. The oldest of 3 children and the only daughter. I am married and have one child and another on the way. I have always been the black sheep of the family, as my mother loves my brothers more (it's a very well known fact) and my dad has been beaten down so much that he sees what I go through, but won't say anything. So it is pretty much me against them.
My parents decided to move, I was not a supporter, but have tried to do my part. With being pregnant (high risk pregnancy) I have not been able to help much. They wouldn't call us to come help pack boxes or do anything. So I waited...a few weeks into packing I decided the best way for me to "help" would be to purchase a $2000.00 storage contanier to keep on my land for them to store their things until they found a house. We wanted a container anyways, so not biggie. I asked them if this would help them, they agreed it would, as they wouldn't have to pay rental fees, so my husband and I did it. There wasn't any real appreciation when it was delivered and they loaded it...they kept asking us why we needed it, which I felt like was really none of thier business, since it was benefiting them...A LOT!
They have been storing thier things for 2 months now, which is fine. But they still have a TON in a barn/shop. My dad just had surgery on his foot that was much needed, but will put him down for 12 weeks. One of my brothers is in the military and is deloyed, so he is not around to help. So everything is falling on my other brother and my husband. We try very hard to help my parents, always have, even when we didn't see eye to eye and no appreciation.
So this weekend my husband just about lost it...my dad has told my husband what all needs to be done soon, so if the house sells which includes mowing the 3 acres every week, scrap metal picked up around the house, trash picked up around the house, transporting a tractor to our house for storage, moving iron metal to our house, moving a motor and transmission, moving an old truck to my brother's, moving everything in the barn/shop and lots of other odds and ends. My question is...My husband and I have so much we are trying to get done around our house and prepare for a baby...we really don't have time to take care of ALL my parents stuff when we can't take care of our own. Plus I want my husband to be able to enjoy our baby when they come.
I feel bad for my dad, because he can't do anything and one brother isn't there to help and the other can't do it all, but at what point is this really my issue...I feel guilty, unsure, sad, and stressed (which isn't good). Am I being unreasonable? I mean my husband doesn't have a lot of time anyways...we have land and he works a lot of overtime and side jobs providing for our family.
Just needing ideas. I'm about ready to hire people out to help, but my husband says we better not be paying for that...but I know my parents won't pay people :(
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
You could always say you are happy to let them use your storage bin for a while however you're trying to get your place cleaned up for when the baby comes so you'd appreciate them sticking to that area only..... There's nothing wrong with no...... Big hug.....xo
Your parents certainly can't expect you to be cutting their grass. As for your husband, that's a lot to ask of him. It's not up to him to complete their to-do list.
People generally rally around new parents, not pile extra work on them!!
Priority order: 1) your health, 2) your toddler's heath and quality time with her, 3) putting together things in your house for the baby...4) work/sleep, 5) helping out your parents as your husband is able.