Family Issues Support Group
Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.
some time ago i posted about when i booked a holiday not knowing it was the same time as my o/h's "traditional" family holiday.(i can never go as have our dogs and cant afford pet sitter) this caused alot of backlash towards me from my o/h's mother accusing me of booking our holiday the same time on purpose etc. their holiday starts on the friday as ours starts on the saturday. we have had alot of expensives lately ,i have already paid for our holiday out of my own money and have asked my o/h to at least pay for the petrol at which she moaned at. then i saw she had wrote her families holiday on the calender on the friday. thought it was strange . then i'm just chatting about getting the car checked over the day before our holiday,tyre pressures ,fluid levels etc before our long trip and getting it packed up ready for a early start the next day when she says i'll have to do it either the day before or when she gets back from visiting her family on their holiday on the friday which will be about 7pm. i'm annoyed because this trip to visit her family at the holiday camp will cost her about 150 because she insists on giving all her neices,nephew,cousins,2nd cousins 5 each spending money,then theres the petrol,the cost of entry to this holiday camp yet she told me after she moaned about me saying i had paid for the holiday she could pay for the petrol she hadn't the money. her mother had rang saying my o/h could go and see them on the friday i had clearly told her we would be to busy getting ready for our own holiday and there was lots to do yet she still asked my o/h. we have one holiday a year yet her family have two or three holidays a year . i'm really annoyed and upset my o/h doesn't do a darn thing to help so it will be left to me to get the car ready etc ,i don't want to pack the car on the thursday as things as clothing will get damp and on the friday i know she wont be back by 7pm . we have to arrive at our holiday place by mid day to pick up the key so that will mean a very early start so will need to be in bed early. plus my o/h will have spent most of her money that could had gone towards the petrol. i know this sounds trival but it's really more than just this,my o/h will not ever say no to her family ,what they want they get.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
I even understand her point...but she's using the issue to attempt to justify behavior that is NOT okay.
Hugs,
Patti
we had another row yesterday . we go to a airshow once a year she wanted to take her sister and kids with us i said no. next year there are two events i saw advertised mentioned that i would like to go again she wants to take her sister and kids with us. even her own mum agrees with me we should go out as just a couple to these day trips.
but her sister is such a stirrer. the other year my partner left her facebook open for a joke i wrote something funny on her status. within minutes her sister had commented on it. so i private messaged her saying it was really me having a joke. but the phone started ringing it was her ringing to tell my partner what i had done which caused a row between my partner and i.
then yesterday my partner put something on her facebook that really rattled me ,i don't usually comment on my partners facebook but i was in just the right foul mood and left a comment not nasty but saying a few home truths. her sisters commenting within minutes saying its a public domain and what i put was inappropriate. i comment back saying no it wasn't. then the phones starts ringing its her. i ignore it. my partner is upstairs asleep. then my partners mobile start ringing. i ignore that to. that sister of hers must be on her facebook 24/7.
eventually my partner got up ,i was outside i guess she saw on her phone her sister had rung and rang her. because when she came outside we had a row about it. i told her her sister is nothing but a stirrer ,can't wait to cause trouble. if i saw one of my relatives put something on facebook and their partner comment whatever they commented i would not be straight on the phone to my relative telling them. all this crap her sister is just looking out for her. like i tell her where was her sister when she had no where to live and was sleeping on her ex's sofa until she found somewhere to live. her ex dumped her but my partner had no option but to sleep on the sofa until rehoused her sister could had easily let her stay there. my partner was a mess and ended up trying to take her life. but hey now shes with me this sister as soon as she knows we are rowing invites her over to stay. my partner told me yesterday she use to visit her sister once a month before she met me. if this was true then back then her sister would had seen the state she was in .as she was sleeping on her ex's sofa for 3 months.
now she wants her sister and 4 girls two are 20 and 22 the youngest are about 7 and 10 to come and stay overnight yet they only live a hour and a half away. i was fair though i said ok as long as she washes all the bedding afterwards as i have to do everything already without extra work. in reality no way do i want them staying overnight ,a few hours in her sisters and eldest daughter company is enough. but i'm trying to be fair but my partner is like give her a inch and she takes a yard.meaning once i say yes it will start being a regular thing.
Are you in therapy sweetpea?...You've mentioned being paranoid and being borderline... I think that these things would have to play a big part in your thinking right now ....If you aren't really active in your therapy I would throw myself into it to be as well as possible... there's good treatment for this
I would stay off FB as well... So not cool... Keep your private life private
If you think that you're being used or that she can't pull her weight financially maybe it's time to cut your losses if you are buying this home and I wouldn't ever consider getting married at this point or until things change
She obviously is loves her family a great deal and wants to spend time with them and I can't see that changing... It's unfortunate that you aren't included .. You've said though that you have to stay with your dog right?
I really loved my folks as well and would spend regular time with them so I understand that...
Big hug for you sweetie...xo