Family Issues Support Group

Family issues is a huge range that go from minor conflict to major misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur. Whether you feel you are in a dysfunctional family or you're dealing with a very specific issue, this is the place to talk about it and find others who might be going through the same thing.

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I'm supposed to be there for my brother

Tired
Tired

But he isn't there for me.  My husband had open heart surgery and a stroke afterwards.  He didnt ask how husband was or how I was.  Just emails on did I do this or that on moms estate work.  He has no friends, no relatives left.  He emails or calls me to help him.  He has personality disorder.  Been in therapy many times.  But he expects them to fix him.  I am tired.  Dealt with mom for many years that was draining and anxious making enough.  He is on SS I and calls me when there is problems.  He has neurological disorder.  Shaking.  I don't want to go up there an hour and a half on back roads.  I can't drive beltway.  Husband can't drive cause of stroke.  Thinking if he has to go to hospital.  Don't want to be responsible for him at all.   I am in charge of his supplemental needs trust.  Mom left me with that because she didnt have anyone else. 

patti22
patti22
Does he have a social worker assigned to him? If not, you might try seeing what services are available.

It's actually probably good for you to do this now. You won't always be young yourself.

That said, no hurry. If looking into his services is too much right now...then put it off for a bit.

My former neighbor is in charge of everything with her disabled brother... Not easy. Making it worse, him and his girlfriend decided that it was their "right" to have children. So now my former neighbor is raising those kids because he couldn't take care of them. Sigh.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I agree with Patti to ask for a referral to a social worker.... The court system could take over his trust if you don't want to do it anymore.... There will be a cost but so be it
Boundaries are important to our well being.... Big hug.....xo
Tired
Tired
He has a social worker. They keep changing. I have to stop feeling like I need to solve his problems. He tells me the social workers are no good. Not helpful. He is ridged, negative. Can't handle this.
shadowrunner
shadowrunner
Tired, I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation where your brother's problems have become your burdens. I do know what that is like. You are right - it is not up to you to solve his problems, it is up to him. I read a book recently - "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. It really helped me to see where to draw the line between my life and those around me. I agree with SunCloud, setting good boundaries with your brother will be really good for you. He definitely won't like the change, but it will give you the freedom you need.
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