If he is unconscious or incompetent then Yes she does. In fact the hospital has the right to keep you out unless he can give permission for you to be there.

I suggest when this is over the two of you have a talk about either getting married or doing a medical power of attorney.

Any way to talk to the hospital staff and see if there could be a visitation schedule worked out so the two of you don't collide?

Look up finance rights in your state.

Hope your guy pulls through quickly!

Maybe your perception of her is that she is 23 going on 12, but in reality she is not. Yes, she does have the power over you. She is an adult and his daughter, and you are not married.

Tigg is right. If he's conscious and deemed competent then he can decide who is allowed in to visit.

It's definitely not the place for any of the staff in ICU to intervene in any family dispute. The only priority for the staff is to ensure the patient is cared for.

Regardless of whether she was adopted, CPS was involved or whatever; as long as she's on his medical proxy, she has control. OR, if she's legally, still his daughter under the adoption, she also has control.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this when the first priority should be your finance' and her father.

Thank you all for your comments I know I have no rights. The reasoning for doing what she's doing is simply because she doesn't like me. I'm glad that she has the forethought to think about her dad's well being, that if something should happen to her, if anything she can say well dad, your 6 feet under, but I had to do what i had to do because I didn't like your fiance. Piece of work.

I don't care if she has his medical power over her dad, but don't kick me out because you don't like me, kick me out cuz your dad doesn't like me or love or doesn't want me here.

Everyone else is on board her sisters and his cousin all agree that she is getting out of control and they told me if I can get married to him while he is in here I should. But I'm like I'm not going to marry him to prove my power over anything, I don't care who has the power, just let me stay to take care of him, that's all I'm asking.

When this is all over I probably won't stay anyway, I am going to see him through this injury and when he is ok again, I will have her take him to her home. I may let her have that option now, if I have to be married to a man who has a daughter that is that way, I can't handle it. It will always be a battle I am not willing to fight. Our love can withstand anything, but my pride and my conviction won't let myself be trampled on by a 12 year old I refuse.

I am the adult and the parent you will respect or I will be gone. I don't put up with those power trips. Just not me.

Mad, don't let the heat of the moment form a decision that you'll regret later on. It sounds as though the nature of the injury left your fiance' in a state where he is or was not able to make decisions for his own medical well being. Is this a long term recuperation? Why would the hospital release him to his daughter's care and not allow him to return to his own home?

You may not be married to him just yet but I certainly wouldn't allow her to become a wedge between you and your fiance'. For now, let her play her game; don't let her annoy you so; that's what her intention is. She's looking to cause problems. The day will come, after the marriage where you can slam her door shut. That would be the day that I would let "anyone" get in the way of me and the man I loved..

I agree, PD, but it's better she realize this now than AFTER the wedding. Vows are usually better/worse... sickness/health...

Better she bail out now than once she makes the promises she can't keep.

You're right Deli, there's probably more to this story than what we know. Perhaps this was the last straw for Madashell.

This is obviously a power struggle for the Dad's attention and one that Mad is fed up with. Who needs that constant struggle in a relationship. I'm just saying that if you really want this relationship to work out in the future then there's NO WAY I'd let the daughter come between you. Give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves. I'd bide my time, go with the floor and after the marriage, BAMMMMM.... no more under the daughter's thumb! Never loose control and never let your enemy see you coming. Be as nice as possible to get to your goal and then pooffffffffffffffff,, slam that door shut on the daughter.

PD- I respectfully disagree. I'd maybe lie low now that he's in ICU. But once he's out, I'd have the Come to Jesus speech and say that it's either her or me.

If he can't say to his 23 year old daughter that his fianc is now his #1 woman in his life, I'd bolt.

But I would draw this line BEFORE the marriage. Otherwise, I predict divorce within two years, or a lifetime of d-r-a-m-a.

If you are in USA, some states recognize common law marriages, that is, a couple is considered married after certain amount of time living together. Not sure which states are, but many states allow this to be the case, especially when it comes to visitation and medical decisions.

Furthermore, this is the kind of thing that gay couples go through since their marriages have never been recognized until recently. Many of the local ordinances and laws that now apply to same sex couples also apply to unmarried heterosexual couples.

There may be some rights that you can have to visit your fiance. I'd suggest you to check (a) hospital policies [some have already dealth with these types of situations and have their own policies] (b) state law regarding common law marriages (c) state protections to unmarried couples (d) local or state protections that apply to same sex couples, that many can apply to unmarried couples.

There may be something that can give you the right to see your fiance. Good luck.

Chris- good point about gay couples. So sad.

And you know what pd2012, and DeliAnnum your both so right and got great points. I thought about asking him to give an ultimatum becuase now I have recently found out that she said she wished it was me instead of him, and she has her brother on board now and she is still contemplating getting me kicked out of the hospital. Oh and get this her estranged mother want to come and see him (his ex) he has nothing to do with her and the daugther is wanting her to go up there.

So, yes DeliAnnum I agree it's too damn much i could bolt now this would be my out, but I can't leave the man I love without atleast nursing him back to health, I'm not going to leave him like that. I will wait for his stupid daugther to make the decision to kick me out.

She is not really pushing my buttons at all, I am standing my ground and I am calm about all of this, but yes I agree, I will give him an ultimatum her or me? Because all I have tried to do is be nice to her and she calls me fake. She wants him all to herself, and doesn't want him to have any girlfriends, she is pregnant and is due in September if she takes her dad home with her, she will have to deal with him and the baby.

My fiance loves me so much, we have been to hell and back for her, his sister claims that this may change their relationship forever, but I believe he will take her side. He loves her no matter what she does to anyone else, and if that's the case, I'm better off without him.

I will go to the hospital and play it off like i love him, I mean I do love him but I'm not going to lead him to believe I am not there for him I will nurse his wounds, take care of him and hopefully once that road gets here if he comes here, I will get the marriage license, marry him, and she won't be around anymore.

I agree with PD2012 100%, I hate to do that but she's not going to give up.

I don't foresee him wanting to go to her house anyway, he wants to come home, I'm sure, I just put that out there because I'm thinking damn, if she wants him that bad, let her take care of him too. If he comes here and I am taking care of him, there is no way she will be allowed to come to my house or talk to him or anything, i'll make sure that bitch has no access. I'm serious I'm so mad and I shouldn't have to be dealing with this from a 23 year old baby girl daughter.

wow thanks so much for your replies they have really impacted me you have no idea.

I was never one to give an ultimatum but after what she has done now she has left me no choice.

one more side note, the mother of this daughter has been around the block a couple of times, and he seems to think she's not even his, Im wondering if this could be a sick joke or an answer to my prayers???

They look nothing alike, his son is spittin image of him but she doesn't look anything like him at all.

what do i do now?

Can I ask what his injuries are? Is he conscious? If he is then he makes the decisions not his daughter.

If he is u conscious you might want to lay low until he is. He is in a hospital where they will care for him. He doesn't need you to nurse him.

Common law is a good point. Check your state laws. But you need to do some serious thinking. Only you know if this man is going to back you over his daughter. If he won't then I would leave now. Life is too short to be constantly fighting and fighting for a man who won't fight for you is crazy.