I would like to say in advance that I have many problems in my family and some intertwine so if you see multiple post or feel like there's just too much drama. There unfortunately is but I'm going to start with my mother's side of the family. I love my family but just because you love someone doesn't mean you like them. I dont like any of my family's kids. They're from ghetto roach infested dirty houses and I hated being left there as a kid over the weekends to starve because there was nothing to eat and the "adults" in the house didn't take care of any of the kids. I didn't appreciate being taken to a place where you have to stay on a very dirty floor at midnight for 15 min to keep from being shot. Being from the rich neighborhood I'm from and being taken there on purpose was the ultimate punishment I never deserved. Things have gotten a lot better for them and now it's dafe to be around them but the people are still the same. Nothing but fighting and guns. And because this is the atmosphere you have to teach your choldren very early from the time they're a baby to defend themselves with their fist instead of their words. I went to a bday party for a 8 yr old last night and have to break up 3 fights with 6 and 7 yr olds that were throwing punches like professional mma fighters. And you know who got in trouble? Me...for stopping it and "singling out a kid" during the "you better stop and not do it again" talk. The other person that got in trouble was the biggest kid that was actually the youngest. He's just so tall my baby cousin. He got yelled at the worst I've ever seen for walking away when someone punched him on purpose. He got in trouble because he was taught if somone hits him he better him them back and he didnt do that. Him walking away stopped the fight which is the goal. I cant understand why this wasnt an acceptable choice for him to stop the fight on his own. And they have to nerve to cry when the kids in our family are killed. 6 ppl in my family have been shot and 3 died and 3 lived. My son is picked on by my family the same way I was when I was a kid around them. Being told i was different because i dont fight and swear. That's the way it's supposed to be and of course I'll teach my child to be the same way. Because i want my child to grow up to be respectful. All i heard was swearing and name calling the whole night. During the last fight the second youngest kid with the biggest temper over every single little thing kept coming for the youngest(tall one). All i had to do was pick him up gently and take him to the other side of the pool and i held him and rocked him and he instantly calmed down. He was suspended the first week of school for fighting. If an entire extended family cant calm him down but i can that only sees his once a year on his bday then something about your parenting is very wrong. All i did was hold and rock him and he was fine. But they wont do this. It's a sign of weakness to that side of the family. How do I convince them and even begin to approach his parents and tell them that a simple hug had him in control when it takes them hours get get him to act right? Without infringing on their parenting?