Hi all, am seeking some advice regarding my son contacting me out of the blue following over 2 yrs estrangement, instigated by him. A little history as follows:-

I raised my boy on my own and we seemed to have a good relationship.  He finally met someone, I had always been wanting this for him and for him to find love, be happy and start a family of his own.  All was great but I did start to feel (after a year or so) that he didn't seem to want to share anything with me, I just wanted the joy of seeing him happy with her and to spend time with them, as they did with her family.  As time went on I began to notice and feel I was not really included with much and he became evasive.  Although he hadn't officially moved out he was to all intents and purposes living with her (and her sister). We shared a rented property and always halved the bills.  I had asked several times if I needed to start looking for a place of my own (couldn't afford the house already in on my sole wage), to which he said yes but towards the end of the year/beginning of the next year.  Things changed and the sister was buying her own house so would be moving out.  This was only landed on me at the last minute but he said that the parents would be covering the soon to be leaving sisters part of the bills until I had found a new place.  I had to find the right place due to money and work but was active immediately.  Months went and he spent less time with me, seemed disinterested along with the girlfriend whom I only met a few times.  They became engaged during this period and I just knew that I wouldn't be included in any wedding discussions/involvement (don't ask me how I knew this, I just 'felt' it) and proved true.  Anyway, cut a long story short, I found a place and handed in tenancy notice and informed my son.  A few days later I asked if he had put his share of the last month bills into my account (as per normal). He had a look of horror and said he didn't think he needed to. Forgot to say just a few days prior to this he had text me saying that 'this is breaking me'.  What I came to be told was that the parents had not been paying the sisters portion and my lad had been paying on both properties.  This was news to me to say the least.  I voiced that there was a misunderstanding on his side of thinking he didn't have to pay the final month, but a few days later I realised that there was not in fact a misunderstanding and he had in fact chosen not to pay the last month and had not intended telling me.  I have low earnings, he owed me £1,250 and he would have known that I could not have possibly paid his share along with my own.  In essence, he had been prepared to throw me under the bus and I would have been left with no money at all.  He didn't bother to help me find a place, pack or anything.  I was soooo hurt that I exploded and called him every name under the sun (of which I regret terribly and apologised profusely).  What followed was that he chose to not have any contact with me and said he did not want me present @ his wedding. I sent a final email last year in February, opening my heart, apologising for my outburst and pointing out his part in the breakdown.  Nothing came back.  I live in excrutiating pain every day and resigned myself to the fact that I was dead to him, even during the pandemic he never reached out.  March this year, on the eve of his birthday, he text me completely out of the blue saying there was fault on his side, he thought about me every day and wanted to see if we can salvage anything from the mess of a situation.  I responded saying that I too would like to try and was here to listen.  Three weeks went without a reply, then only brief saying he was busy with work/family.  I responded just asking for him to be open and honest in talking and now we are into another three week gap with no contact.  My quandry is - what do I do?  I am fluctuating in happiness that he has been in touvh and taking responsibility of his actions, but this lack of contact and doing what he wanted in talking, is hurting me all over again.  Why make contact then back off?  I am distraught all over again, for me saying he is 'busy' is an excuse.  I can't sit and wait again, the possibility he won't engage and having to experience the pain all over again I simply cannot do.  I fluctuate with emailing and saying enough is enough and I will not allow him to do this again and sitting tight and waiting.  To say you are 'busy' after 2 years estrangement says to me he can't be bothered and doesn't understand or care how this impacts on me.  What do I do?