'IF' there is a possibility that she's pregnant then she knows it.... I would tell her just that

Were you sexually active having unprotected sex a few months ago?.... If you did then it's possible your pregnant

I would also let her know that if she is pregnant she has more then just herself to think about.... You're talking about another persons' life now and she has a huge responsibility with that

I would tell her that you want her to go to the doctor and that you'll take her.... If she's trying to hurt a baby that's a crime and I would let her know as gently as possible that she can't do that

If the horses are yours don't allow her to ride them.... You can have some boundaries around your property

If she continues to behave in a really immature matter I would call your doctor or go and see him/her and ask them what you should do....

She may be trying to abort the baby (if she's pregnant) however she may end up causing this baby a lot of damage and if that happens she'll have to live with It for the rest of her life

I would really try and take a forthright and strong stance as much as you can about the damage she could be doing while still being supportive of your daughter.....

There are options if she doesn't want to keep a baby.... A lot of people want to adopt and would be wonderful parents


I hope that things turn out well for all of you..... Big hug......xo

Question...How do you know that she hasn't had her period?

It doesn't sound like you're very close to her. You do know that there are forms of birth control (IUDs, etc) where women may not have a period? Some of which can cause weight gain.

My advice...back off. She's 22. She's an adult. It's flat out HER choice to go to the doctor or not.

You will do damage to your relationship with her if you try to violate HER boundaries.

(My son just turned 18. I understand it's difficult. Ready or not...he's an adult. I've done my best to get him ready, the rest is up to him.)

Patti if she's pregnant and if she's doing things to intentionally harm the baby it's illegal

The OP states she looks like she's 5 months pregnant and she's throwing up all the time

Her mom might be able to help her figure this out "IF' she's pregnant and burying her head

For instance women doing illegal drugs when pregnant are put in jail... It's not all about her choice.... There may be another person involved in this?? perhaps?

I'm not talking about a legal medical abortion and pro or against isn't my call

It sounds to me like a young woman burying her head IF she is pregnant and not looking at what the future might be and IF she's pregnant she's behaving recklessly

I hear you BTW that she's an adult..... I also hear that the OP is really concerned.....

This could be a catastrophe for this family IF this young woman is trying to hurt a baby invitro due to fear or not wanting to be pregnant IMHO

@Sun, I've literally never heard of anyone being prosecuted for that in the states. Never. Show me otherwise, and I'll change my advice.

Morning sickness is usually the first three months, there are many other reasons for throwing up all of the time.

It's possible that she is pregnant and planning to give the child up for adoption. Just because the mother doesn't know about her daughter going to the doctor...doesn't mean that she isn't.

There's a chance of being put in jail if she's doing drugs while pregnant...but the odds are looong against it. If she's on heroin, she'd be encouraged to take methodone (which for the baby is almost the same, but may get the mother's behavior more under control). The main issue with cocaine are low birthweight babies (mother is gaining weight...not likely the issue).

Alcohol is by FAR the most dangerous. But the mother didn't mention that. Or any illegal drugs.

Caffeine...is nearly nothing. I drank coffee pregnant with both of my kids.

No court in the country will forbid her from riding horses pregnant (I have friends that are horse people), safe or not.

And quite frankly, if she was at a hospital and they didn't shield her belly with a lead blanket...that's malpractice. They should have done a pregnancy test (with or without telling the mother for ALL women 15 to 45). X-rays are most dangerous in the first 8 weeks. After that, the patient's interests were probably such that they'd do x-rays pregnant or not.

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/x-rays-during-pregnancy/


Quite frankly the greatest risks to not seeking medical care are to the mother rather than to the child. High blood pressure is no joke. The chance of a tubal pregnancy, the chance of a molar pregnancy.

So yes, I'm all in favor of her going to the doctor if something is up. So asking her to go to the doctor is great. Pushing it...isn't.

BUT....the mother just said that the daughter had been in a car accident. So a pregnancy test was probably done.


My bet. The last few months of college, daughter became sexual active, and doesn't want to tell her mother for one reason or another. Daughter now has an IUD, she's been having some mild side effects from the IUD and mother has noticed. Mom now won't let go...and it's going to cause a split between mother-child.

In any case, if I'm right or wrong. Daughter is an adult, and HIPPA laws protect her.

There's a lot about it online.... Look this girl knows whether or not she's trying not to be pregnant by harming herself with wild horses or any other means

I think as a mom having a forthright conversation is in her best interest … To an extent yes she can do what she wants however there's also protection for unborn babies

Do I like the government in peoples' lives as much as they are … no I don't

She's denying being pregnant at this point however is 'seems' that a lot points to her being pregnant? No?

She looks pregnant and she's regularly vomiting

I would just hate to see something awful happen because she's a young woman that's afraid of what's next.... She wants to be off to college in a couple of weeks …. It would sure have freaked me out

I think a mom having a forthright conversation and putting all of the cards on the table is a good thing

I am thinking due to the OP stating that she looks pregnant and it regularly vomiting that she probably is … Of course I have NO idea.....I'm thinking Occam's razor just from what's been stated in the OP

And you are absolutely right that any risk to the mother are also a huge issue again IF she's pregnant

Now a days as well.... People can trace so much of what goes on online, email, google searches texts etc that there is often a history that government can seek out

I just think "if" she's pregnant it all needs to be addressed before something awful happens

She is an adult.... I just would hate to see anything untoward happen if intervening can stop it

http://www.ncsl.org/research/health/fetal-homicide-state-laws.aspx

a case of denial like this , may be from a rape. if she accepts the fact shes pregnant then she will also have to relive her rape, poor girl , she may need more heath care then just a baby doctor, my heart goes out to her, sometimes i hate what this world does to inocent beings that just want to be happy and get on with their lives. admitting a pregnancy now will change her life for ever, plus she'll face the reason it happened in the first place. oh god i'll ask that he shows her mercy and a way for her to face what happened, hope as parents you will help her, watch her baby while she gets her life in order.

Thank you for your comments. It was not my intent to start any debates or controversial discussions. Yes, she is 22 and making her own decisions. She is also my daughter therefore I'm concerned. I don't like her boyfriend who is manipulate and controlling to a frightening point. If she's hiding a pregnancy no doubt he's behind it. I am speaking very frankly with her and I've asked her to take a pregnancy test. She lives under my roof, I pay her bills and buy all her food, etc. I deserve to know the truth and if she's in denial it will help her begin to deal with it.

Big hug barn.... It can be hard online at times to have conversations.....You reply to one another in a few sentences and sometimes it's hard to read between the lines

We aren't trying to be controversial or upset you.... This is a difficult thing to discuss and I have just tried to bring up a potential problem that I sure hope won't arise ….. My only intent is to try and ward off any potential problem

I wish you and your daughter the very best..... I'm sorry that her boyfriend is controlling and scary …. That must be a big concern

I have worked in a volunteer position with an injustice group for several years some time ago so I end up seeing different things from a legal perspective due to what I've seen in the past..... I get a little concerned where there hopefully is no reason for concern

Please let us know how it goes..... Big hug.....xo

I will be worrying about you.

But I do wish both you and your daughter the best.