I went through a divorce and it was somewhat traumatic. My sister and I talked every week. She was generally supportive, but in one conversation she was pushing me hard on getting my daughter into counseling. I was working on it, but had other more basic needs I had to meet first (like childcare for my daughter while I was working full time). I was upset by her pushing and told her that I had to go. I was in tears and feeling enough guilt over the whole divorce. Since that conversation two years ago, she has decided to completely cut me out of her life. She refuses to talk to me and everything I say to her via email -- which is the only way she'll talk to me is wrong. I have tried to apologize. She basically told me that she was sick of being my cheerleader and that I never supported her. Although I was probably not the most capable of giving her support at that moment, I had supported her in other situations. I admit that I was very preoccupied with my own trauma, but now that I am through the divorce, I am in such a better space. We have too daughters who love each other, but my sister has also decided that they should have no contact either. I should mention that we live across the county. I sent her daughter a gift card for Christmas and a locket from my daughter with a picture of the two girls in it. She sent a cold email of thanks and I sent her one back wishing her a merry Christmas. Her return email was full of venom and said how dare I send her a daughter a locket that implied some level of closeness that our daughters could never have. I have never been so upset. I have tried to say I was sorry. I have tried to make things better. But anything I say, I say wrongly. I don't even know if anyone can give advice, but if you can, I'd appreciate it. It has ruined an otherwise nice Christmas for me. My heart hurts. . .
I have felt monitored for a long time. Fear has been a huge factor in my life since 1999. I have nothing to hide. Yet people feel the need to punish me and trick me. I have had more done to me, than I ever did to anyone else. This is the truth.
Please call me Andy. I'm dx'd with situational PTSD, beginning Feb. 2nd 2018. At that time my wife of 24 years died as I was administering CPR. The first few days and weeks were indescribable. I have no idea, looking back, how I survived. Now it's Feb. again, and it's like wave after wave of intensely tangled emotions, and near panic every morning. By afternoon I'm exhausted and...