Being raised by my mentally ill single mom has been the defining challenge of my life. As I approach my 50th birthday it is continuing to cloud my entire life. She is living in an unsustainable situation and I fear things are going to come to a head very soon. Basically I fear she will lose her apartment and being in debt will not be able find another place to live. She resists my attempts to help citing her need for independence even as all the signs point to it crashing down soon. We have been fighting all of my life and now as I feel empowered to break the cycle which basically means finding a way to emotionally shield myself from her wholesale anger that always lies just beneath the surface I am in a state of bewilderment. I want to allow myself to feel  whole at all costs but I can’t turn my back on her at her most vulnerable. This has me feeling stuck because I don’t want to abandon her but I don’t know if I can ever heal with the pain I feel every time I talk to her. Any feedback would really help me because right now I can’t seem to figure out what to do next.