Families of SOs Community Group
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Why does no one care?
The registry is unfair, there is no question about it. It is supposedly a civil regulatory scheme to protect the public. To those of us who live or have lived it know in reality it is actually additional punishment, ostracizing us even further from society that we wish would embrace us again. To allow us to return to our lives--we know we made horrendous choices that impacted our victims, our families and ourselves but when will it ever be enough? What if the thing you hated most about yourself was constantly being brought up to you? What if the government and other people made it your identity? An identity that you could never escape, a punishment that never ended, punishing not only you but also everyone else who cares about you?
Why does no one care?
Why does the Supreme Court of the United States not step in and shut down these ex post facto punishments?
Why do politicians keep on enacting more and more draconian laws?
Why do people look at us like monsters?
You have to understand, that in comparison to the plight victims have our plight looks negligible. We look silly for complaining about what is happening to us when 1 in 4 girls is being abused by the time they are 18. Whether the punishment is fair or not, we still committed the crime. When they compare us against victims we will lose every single time! Even though two wrongs do not make a right, one wrong was unquestionably worse and that was our own wrong, whatever crime that landed us on the registry in the first place.
What position could we possibly take to change the public perception about us?
Now I am not saying this will be easy, or will happen any time in the next 30 years, but we must do this. We must be willing to care more about others well being than our own if we are ever to have any hope of fixing this mess. Our message to the public cannot be that the registry is unfair, no one wants to hear about our hardships. No one cares. Let me say that again, no one cares.
Our message must be that the registry actually creates more victims. People must know that our policy as a society does not allow or makes it very difficult for RSOs to reintegrate back into society. Research shows that reintegration is a key factor in keeping RSOs from reoffending.
So why does no one care? Because by saying how bad it is for sex offenders it allows everyone else to compare how bad it is for sexual abuse victims and we lose every time. Our mantra cannot be poor sex offenders, our mantra must be NO MORE VICTIMS! Only by placing others above ourselves will we ever have any hope of intelligence winning out over emotion.
The registry is unfair, there is no question about it. It is supposedly a civil regulatory scheme to protect the public. To those of us who live or have lived it know in reality it is actually additional punishment, ostracizing us even further from society that we wish would embrace us again. To allow us to return to our lives--we know we made horrendous choices that impacted our victims, our families and ourselves but when will it ever be enough? What if the thing you hated most about yourself was constantly being brought up to you? What if the government and other people made it your identity? An identity that you could never escape, a punishment that never ended, punishing not only you but also everyone else who cares about you?
Why does no one care?
Why does the Supreme Court of the United States not step in and shut down these ex post facto punishments?
Why do politicians keep on enacting more and more draconian laws?
Why do people look at us like monsters?
You have to understand, that in comparison to the plight victims have our plight looks negligible. We look silly for complaining about what is happening to us when 1 in 4 girls is being abused by the time they are 18. Whether the punishment is fair or not, we still committed the crime. When they compare us against victims we will lose every single time! Even though two wrongs do not make a right, one wrong was unquestionably worse and that was our own wrong, whatever crime that landed us on the registry in the first place.
What position could we possibly take to change the public perception about us?
Now I am not saying this will be easy, or will happen any time in the next 30 years, but we must do this. We must be willing to care more about others well being than our own if we are ever to have any hope of fixing this mess. Our message to the public cannot be that the registry is unfair, no one wants to hear about our hardships. No one cares. Let me say that again, no one cares.
Our message must be that the registry actually creates more victims. People must know that our policy as a society does not allow or makes it very difficult for RSOs to reintegrate back into society. Research shows that reintegration is a key factor in keeping RSOs from reoffending.
So why does no one care? Because by saying how bad it is for sex offenders it allows everyone else to compare how bad it is for sexual abuse victims and we lose every time. Our mantra cannot be poor sex offenders, our mantra must be NO MORE VICTIMS! Only by placing others above ourselves will we ever have any hope of intelligence winning out over emotion.
Actually Independent - although this is true in some cases it is a very small percentage - not enough to out weigh the other collateral damage caused by the registry. As a matter of fact sexual abuse is second only to murder for recidivism (for ALL crimes). To me a stronger argument would be that the registry does nothing to keep the public safe because it is not the folks on the registry committing the new crimes. So the problem with that statement is that if we say that the registry causes more new crimes the statistics would not be strong enough to support that.
We look silly when we accept suspect victim industry statistics as a fact. Does anyone even know where these dubious numbers originate from?
I see my statement as a build off of yours. Not only does the registry not protect the most harmed group, the 93%, it actually creates more victims. The net results of the registry and its policies are more offenses not less.
A doctor seeing a patient who is sick prescribes them medication hopefully to make them better. When the doctor sees it is actually causing more sickness the doctor should immediately stop that medication, not double down on it and triplicate the medication.
is although we are the "once fallen", we are not the "once and forever fallen" .even if prejudice and labeling 'says' we are nothing but what our conviction labels us as forever and ever world without end. And the way to change that prejudiced view is with accurate recidivism stats showing "once convicted" does not indicate forever and always a repeat 'offender.' People change, people grow, some people were even actually innocent in the first place! Just saying, JanetM
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Disagree with that. The studies I have read show that the registry causes a slight increase in non-related sex crimes but not enough of a statistically significant increase in new sex crimes. How else would you explain the low recidivist rate? Making that argument would be one that appeals to emotion with only slight truths to back it up.
Oh? Then how do you explain sting operations where there is no actual victim? How do you explain that the FBI took over and ran a CP website on the dark web? Why does the state not encourage more preventative measures to help people, like they do in almost every other instance where dysfunctional behavior occurs in life? At the very least, they have an interest in at least giving the appearance that victimization is taking place constantly so that the cash cow doesn't stop flowing. They do have an interest in making parents not feel safe. They certainly don't have an interest in actually presenting in the facts as they exist.
As rew has argued here several times, now that mandatory sentencing of drug offenders are changing and prisons can't be stuffed with people who committed low level drug crimes and those sentenced back in the day are cleaning up their time and getting out there is a need for more criminals...so legislators are criminalizing more and more behavior as a "sex crime" in order to ensure their jobs are safe, fill prison beds and add names to the registry etc... States build all those extra prisons out in the boonies to house druggies and now they need to fill the beds with some other 'forever' criminal.Follow the tax money...Their business plan depends on keeping tax payers prejudiced, scared and ignorant about reality concerning SO's.
To say it is ludicrous that the state doesn't have an interest in creating at the least appearance of more victims is something I disagree with entirely.
Very well stated, Jackie.
In addition to prison beds and SO Registries, 29 states have Civil Commitment facilities waiting for those offenders they want to incarcerate and warehouse 'offenders' forever. There's a website "Here be Monsters' which discusses Washington State's Civil Commitment Facility on McNeil Island That's where the phrase "once a sex offender always a sex offender becomes set in stone where true or not...chilling. go to HBM and click to the second page and there is a video titled The Last Memory of Freedom...
We can all bitch about one thing or another. It doesnt matter. We have created this society of "its all about me".
There is a reason why i dont watch the news. I have become a hermit...so to speak. I dont care. Let the world destroy itself. That is where we are headed.
Thank God i am 51 and dont have to put up with the BS for maybe??????
I am "old school". I believe in whoopings when your kids mess up. I believe in the less Government in our lives...the better we are.
There is a price to pay. Who wants to pay it? No one. Like i said before....its easier to bitch about our poor pathetic unfair lives.
I have chosen to remove myself from society. With the exception of this forum and facebook.....ok i only go on facebook to keep in contact with family and friends....i dont get involved.
Its sad. Not only does no one care....i take that back.......one only cares about themselves. It is a selfless society.
So lets all bitch about transgender bathrooms.....christmas trees in city parks....abortion....the list goes on and on.
I am here to support all of you. Regardless of our opinions on other stuff. We are all in the same boat. Some of us paddle more than others......but thats ok. What we have been through.....enough said......
Do yourself a favor, listen to Mose Allison's song called "Stop this World". You'll feel as if you are listening to someone who understands exactly how you feel.
We've learned that people's fears can easily be exploited. Fear is the tool that has been used to create and maintain the registry. But that fear is based on the premise of the "other". That the registry is there to keep "me" safe from "the other". We need to reframe that narrative where the "other" becomes "the self". The registry is a threat to you, fellow human being. More of a threat than registrants are to your children.