Families of SOs Community Group
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Let's start with the premise that you catch more flies with honey rather than with vinegar. I have no statistical evidence to show this is true, but I think we can all agree it seems to make sense intuitively, that people who act badly towards us do not get our benefit of the doubt. That we tend to look more disfavorably on they say and how they act.
Let's also start with the premise that we as families of sex offenders, and former registrants are behind the proverbial 8 ball when it comes to public perception. That even though statistics bear out that we have a lower recidivism rate, society in general assumes otherwise. That even though your child is 13 times more likely to be abused by someone they know and usually know quite well, society thinks that registrants and former registrants are the major problem that they need watch out for.
So assuming both of these premises why are we acting like this?
One commenter in the comments section said:
"so.. ruin a victims life by doing something that will probably effect every decision they make for the rest of their lives and the offenders think they can go on living their lives unfettered? hell no, you better wear that scarlet letter forever. i have no sympathy for sex offenders."
This was met by our side saying:
"Who gives a damn what you think? You are part of the problem."
And
"F you. Get the hell out of the U.S."
We will never win the battle of public perception with people such as this responding this way.
Let's also start with the premise that we as families of sex offenders, and former registrants are behind the proverbial 8 ball when it comes to public perception. That even though statistics bear out that we have a lower recidivism rate, society in general assumes otherwise. That even though your child is 13 times more likely to be abused by someone they know and usually know quite well, society thinks that registrants and former registrants are the major problem that they need watch out for.
So assuming both of these premises why are we acting like this?
One commenter in the comments section said:
"so.. ruin a victims life by doing something that will probably effect every decision they make for the rest of their lives and the offenders think they can go on living their lives unfettered? hell no, you better wear that scarlet letter forever. i have no sympathy for sex offenders."
This was met by our side saying:
"Who gives a damn what you think? You are part of the problem."
And
"F you. Get the hell out of the U.S."
We will never win the battle of public perception with people such as this responding this way.
Well said, that is the concept I hope we as a movement can present to everyone on the outside.
Drinking a cup(8oz) of vinegar keeps the mosquito's from biting.
If not.....?
Whether you call yourself a believer or you don’t this is still sound advice:
“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”
“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head…”
Relate this situation to your own life experiences. If you have known someone or at least know who they are and they have been pleasant and nice to you and others, then you have learned to give them a certain amount of respect. You will probably even have learned to like them to a degree----or at least they have never done anything to make you dislike them.
If you then hear something bad about that person----such as he is on the sex offender registry---- what does human nature cause you to do? You will say, "Oh, I don't believe all that," or "Oh, there has to be more to the story," or "He has always been respectful to me," or "I like him anyway." You will defend the person you like even if you hear something bad about him----like him being convicted of a sex offense.
Human nature allows you to defend those you like and makes it easier to forgive them.
Nobody, nobody, can easily do things which conflicts with human nature, as human nature is something inherent in us at birth. We cannot change human nature.
BUT, BUT suppose you know a person that has acted disrespectful, he calls people names, and cannot disagree with people without being rude. In other words, you don't really respect or like him. You may even think of him as a jerk.
If you then hear something bad about this person---like he looked at CP and was convicted----what do you do? You usually say things like, "It does not surprise me, as he is not a nice person," or "I knew the SOB was into things like that," or "I knew it, I knew it. There was something about him that bothered me all along."
In other words, if you do not like the person to begin with, it is much easier to attack him. It makes you dislike him even more. It reinforces your belief that he was a bad person all along.
I hope everyone can see the analogy I am trying to draw here. It is never a bad idea to be well though of. It is never a bad idea to have people respect you. It is never a bad idea to have people like you.
It never hurts to be nice and keep your cool even if you are being attacked.
Our movement cannot do much to fight the biases of the world, but we can help our cause by playing on people's human nature, as I just explained.
This is the reason our movement would be well served to conduct ourselves with class, maturity, and respect at all times. Everyone is watching to see when we as registrants do something wrong or terrible in their eyes; many would love to see us make a misstep as that would affirm their original belief in us and make their attacks against us more justifiable. The trick is to never allow that to happen.
If you act like an ex-con, hooligan, or a generally rude person---OR people's view of a sex offender---you will be treated that way.
This is how I see this anyway.
rewdaizepam
i recently shared the petition for reworking/rewriting the sex offender registry and for abolishing most of it. one person came back with a snarky comment. "right, like all those perverts will never offend again". so i stated the recidivism rate for RSO's and that the only crime that was lower was for murderers. then i laid out some of the things that could get you arrested and placed on the registry and let her know that there were children as young a 6yrs old on the registry. then i listed the others and asked her if she really needed to know that her married neighbor with kids was a RSO because at 17 he had consensual sex with his 15/16yro girlfriend 25yrs ago. and that 'they' were now married? told her a few other things too. she never did post back.....
besides, you piss them all a whole hell of a lot more if they think that they don't or can't make you mad.... :D
Haha yes!
my parents had a mirror on the kitchen wall that said, "If you can't dazzle them will brilliance, baffle them with bullshit"!
me? i liked their sign, "Old age and treachery will over come youth and skill"! LOL