Families of SOs Community Group
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Please help. My son molested my niece. This is something that just happened and I really don't know where to go from here. My niece was taken to the ER for an evaluation and we have just been sitting here waiting for what happens next. Does anyone have any advice. He did admit to it and is 15 years old.
How much of a gap in age is there? The larger the gap the more likely they will charge him as an adult. It also depends on how far the molestation went.
Don't talk to the police or prosecutor with out your son's lawyer present. If you are still really close with the neice and her parents ask them to also stop talking to the police and prosecutor till they are represented by counsel as well. Like I said all you can do now is lower the damage that the prosecutor is going to try and inflict on your son.
Make a file and save everything you can get your hands on. DHS reports, police reports, anything and everything.
Last but the hardest part of all, wait. These cases do not move fast, they drag on and on. Your son will probably be arraigned and will be taken into custody eventually. You can bail him out but he won't be able to be around other kids outside of school.
Get a lawyer first thing monday morning!
Sorry that you need us but glad you found us,
-Independent
1. After you get lawyer request a meeting to talk with your son's principal and vice principal and being your lawyer with you. DHS would have informed them of the situation and it is best if you are involved with them on how to "manage" your son during this time .
2. Your son made a horrible decision but this will not define his life. To give you the statistics, incest offenders with opposite sex partners who are juveniles have the lowest recidivism rate of any sex offender type. Different studies have found it's less than 5%, and after several years and completing treatment he will be like 2%.
Right now according to the stats the DOJ goes by his rate to commit another sex crime is maybe 12-15%. Again after 10 years (25 is the magic mark) and completion of therapy he goes to 2%.
Does your son have legal representation in the form of an attorney? He needs one right now. You should retain an attorney for him. The attorney is the only protection your son will have to keep the DA and the state from violating his rights. Without an attorney the system will be very unfair to your son. Regardless if he is innocent or guilty, he still deserves protection and is entitled to a fair investigation.
Why are the police coming over to your house?
When they do, I will give you the best advice you can ever have. DO NOT talk to the police or anyone in law enforcement. They are ruthless vultures and they will turn anything you say into something to make your son look like a complete monster.
This is the first piece of advice any competent defense attorney will give you---do not talk to the police.
They will try to be nice and want to hear "your son's side of the story" and they will act like they want to help your son, but nothing could be further from the truth. These people are like a bunch of pit vipers in a bucket.
Anything he says----no matter how innocent sounding---will be turned and used against him to make them a better case.
Police arrest people. They don't care who you are or what has been done, they put people in jail.
When the cops come over and "want to talk" just tell them that you do not wish to talk on the advice of your attorney. You don't have to go into the legalese of the Fifth Amendment or anything like that. Just tell them you do not wish to talk to them.
You might think, "If we don't say something, they will think he is guilty for sure." They already think he is guilty anyway, so don't worry about that.
And don't try being nice to the police in hopes that it will make it easier on your son. They don't care anyway.
Keep your mouth shut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rewdiazepam
The advice about getting your son into some kind of therapy with a professional is very important. Take the initiative and do that on your own or on the advice of your attorney as that will show that your son is in treatment and making an effort to address his problem.
rewdiazepam
My niece's mother advised that the cops would be coming over here as that is what they told her at the hospital where she was evaluated. Can we refuse to talk to the cops? Won't they arrest him immediately?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc
Yes, the police will be over there to fish for more information to bury your son. Many people think that the police are their "friends" and if they just cooperate, everything will be OK. The police will understand, your son can get the help he needs, and it will be over.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
http://tinyurl.com/pnnkmj2
The big problem honest and decent people have when the police want to talk to them is this---they don't know how to tell them "no, I don't want to talk."
When the police want "to talk", just simply tell them that, "we are making no statements without our attorney present." Period. That is all you have to say. Then shut up.
Many people talk themselves into more trouble by talking to the cops and trying to explain their side of the situation. They don't want to hear your side. They are not judges or juries.
They will try to say something to get you talking, but again repeat, "we are making no statements without our attorney present" and then stick with it.
You are under no obligation to talk to them. Don't.
They may very well arrest your son when they come over. You might think if you just talked, they would not have arrested him. Nothing could be further from the truth. Whether they arrest him this weekend has nothing to do if you talk to them.
Just get through the weekend, don't talk to anyone about this situation and find you a competent defense attorney Monday morning. You are vulnerable now and the police know that. Just repeat the phrase I told you if they want to talk.
"WE ARE MAKING NO STATEMENTS WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY PRESENT."
They are NOT your friends.
Good luck.
rewdiazepam
To answer your questions directly, OF COURSE you can refuse to speak to the police. Refusing to talk is only protecting your son. Just tell them what I mentioned in my previous post.
Even if your son has confessed, let's limit the damage by not talking to them. Trust me, if you talk to them they will make him out to be a monster, pervert, and sexual predator.
Yes, they may arrest him immediately, but any arrest made will not be because you refused to talk.
rewdiazepam
Like I said if you can talk your neice and her parents into not talking till they get an attorney too that will be better for your son. Don't let the police in to your house, tell them if they wish to search your son's room they need a warrant. Tell them your son and you will no make no statements without a lawyer present. Then say nothing more to the police.
Tell him to memorize those words.