Nako,
It will get better. Maybe it will benefit your son just to have someone to talk to.

I never heard back from the lawyers. I called him again at 6:30. I've been trying to get him to call me back for 2 days now.
I called the therapist and left him a message. I told him that we're waiting for a clarification from sentencing and went into a little about my son accidentally downloading and it was only 1 cp. My son wanted me to bring this up. He said if they ask him why he did it he will just be quiet. But he really wants them to know the truth and he says he'll tell the truth or nothing at all. And he wanted me to mention something to the therapist.
So Christopher called me back and he was surprisingly supportive and said that he'd rather wait for the clarification. I told him 3 times that my son was worried about violating probation. He told me that if my son's PO calls him he'll tell him that he had a conflict with scheduling and that we had to reschedule. And that would give us a week and maybe the lawyers would be able to give us more info.
Again I mentioned about violating probation and he said that if we had to we'd schedule a rush appointment and that he'll tell my son's PO that he IS in treatment but there was a scheduling issue. Then he spoke with my son , just to make a connection.
I told him the judge said he's have to take mental health treatment and if he would be someone we can go to and he said yes, for either one.
My son was really worried an we talked about it after we got off the phone. Christopher seemed sincere but my son doesn't trust anyone. I'd say if this was Floriduh, then worry but it's Philly and the PO has a lot more SOs to deal with than he has time for. Also he knows my son is real low risk. And he's never been out to the shop where we work , even tho he said he would.. I'm sure he will eventually.

At this point it's up to the attorney to do something and give us a clue as to which direction to go. I hate to look for another one. My son says I'm too quick to fire him. I'll wait another day but I can't wait much longer to get this clarification straightened out.

I really hope that Christopher would be someone my son could talk to , and about the truth. Luke needs someone to believe in his innocence. From our conversation on the phone , this might happen.

That's positive report Nak. I hope your son will feel comfortable with him for whatever reason he goes.

Why is there fear for your son to tell the truth?!

I don't understand the issue?

Talking / therapy isn't punishment it's supposed to help, right? And it's confidential?

I had one on one for a year as part of my probation. We just sat and chatted for an hour. She had me write a paper on Informed Concent. I learned a lot.

He accidentally downloaded 2 cp along with 2331 other videos. He 'confessed' that he saw them there. At sentencing we knew that he had to 'own' it or it would go to trial. If he goes to treatment and they don't believe him then our thoughts are they'll say he's in denial and keep him in treatment. I've heard some horror stories.

Sitting in front of his probation officer the first day.. and I was in the room because he asked me to come in. The PO leaned over the table and asked him why he did it. My son didn't know what to respond so he just shrugged his shoulders.

To plead guilty to a crime you're not guilty of is not acceptable, because you're just looking for a shorter sentence. If you're not guilty you're supposed to go to trial to plead your innocence and you can't go to trial with this crime.

Nak, until you've lived it, you can begin to realize the impact of your last sentence. If only the general public had any idea . . .

I've been living this nightmare for almost 4 years now. They have us so scared to even take a shit...excuse my French. . that maybe taking a step back and breather might be good.

What could they possibly do to my son at this point that they haven't already. He has PTS because of it. If he tells the PO and the shrink the truth. That he accidentally downloaded the 1 count cp and that he's not interested in children.. what could they do? Put him back in prison for not accepting his crime? He already did his time.

But it's over now. He was sentenced.

I think counseling is confidential. The counselor may report back how high a risk they think he is and if he's 'cured'.

If he refuses to talk or lies in my opinion he looks way more guilty than saying 'yah, I saw a strange file. I opened it. I deleted/reported/ignored it'. '

Human nature is curious. I'm not sure about you but up until the point I was convicted I was a curious teenager.

I don't think there is harm in admitting that.

'Now I realize how wrong it is. That children are hurt in this process. I should have reported it. I feel ashamed but I'm not guilty of deviant sexual thoughts. '

How can a decent social worker take that the wrong way?

In some places they would call that minimizing.

I want to add my tactic was to be as accommodating as possible. Follow all the rules. Yes, ma'am and No Sir.

Show you're willing to change your life - even if in reality what happened was a mistake.

For me I did have a tape. I had it since I was 15. But in reality I didn't know what 'child porn' was. I didn't understand the harm it causes or the children whose lives it ruins.

I am mad that they charged me when I handed them the tape trying to help. I am mad at the system that instead of helping me better my life tries to push me down.

But I understand the police were following what they're told to do. The issue is bigger than them or the PO. And nothing is gained by refusal at this point.

Go to treatment. Let the counselor tell the PO your son is no threat. Maybe talking will help him process the anger as well.

My counseling taught me that even a child who seems willing or 'happy' is too young to know the long term effects of what is going on. That informed consent for something as complex as a sex act cannot be given by a child. I think it was good for me to learn this. It certainly did no harm.

When I'd go to register in a new town I'd tell them that - I was young and stupid. I didn't realize the gravity of the tape I had. I didn't know the harm it causes. I have learned from the past.

And I've been pretty lucky in the scheme of things.

Focus your energy now on positives - finding a job or education and moving forward.

IvyDog.. He wasn't curious. He thought it was a music video. he had over 2300 music videos. He's a musician.

Minimizing- are you saying they'd get upset about it?

For me and it seems like Nak's son it's the truth.

I was 'guilty' in the truest sense of the law. I had the tape.

But not because I was a deviant. I hadn't watched it in years and was away at college with said tape 300 miles away.

Had I known how 'bad' it was - legally/morally I would have either destroyed it or turned it in earlier ( yah, I was that naive).

Why would he be willing to 'change his life'? He was fine before all this. Everyone's story is different.
This is the problem with this kind of crime and not going to trial. People assume and a lot of the times based on what their lives are about. Even tho the proof is put out there, for some reason people don't pay attention and assume things that never happened.
I know some here have said that we should bite the bullet and take it to trial. and this is why you can't.

I don't know what to say, Nak.

Like in my case it wasn't about intent or enjoying the video. It was just the mere fact we possessed it.

A trial may have worked. May not have.

I wanted it all to go away and had a crap lawyer and just pled guilty. I wish in hindsight I had tried to plead my intent to a jury.

I still say maintaining innocence and honesty but not fighting the process (now) is best.

But I'm curious did the police have to prove he watched it?!

How did they know he had it?

It is a scary picture you paint and I'm very sorry for your family.