Families of SOs Community Group

WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...

1,307 Members
11,281 Posts
1 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Families of SOs Support Group

Son is starting SO Treatment today

Nakohichi
Nakohichi
He's not supposed to. According to the federal judge in Floriduh. I hired an attorney just for this and, I've called him all day yesterday, emailed him , called him this morning and his office.
He's supposed to call the PO yesterday and get this delayed so we can deal with it thru the courts and get his probation of not having to take treatment, clarified.
He had to make an appointment with the therapist last week because his PO insisted on him taking it.

If I don't hear back from the lawyer today he'll be going for his hour tonight at 7pm. So.. what does he do? Just sit there and not respond to the questions he's asked? Does he tell the truth that he accidentally downloaded the 1 cp he was charged with? Does he incriminate himself all over again by going along with this and making like he really has a problem? He's so stressed out over this. I thought we were home free with this treatment ... I'm so pissed off.
coolrich001
coolrich001
When and if he goes, make sure he tells the truth. Also, if the PO forces the issue, make sure they pay for it.I went for 3 years with the same people you son is going with. I always told the truth and the PO office paid for it. To tell the truth again, I kind of miss it. My last session was in 2003.
honestwitness
honestwitness
Coolrich001, what do you miss about SO treatment?
coolrich001
coolrich001
Interesting question honest.
It was all one on one talk therapy. After the first few sessions after the initial testing, we dealt with regular life issues. The only time SO crap would come up was when I brought it up.
Also, the therapist knew my education background, psychology, and would go over things dealing with some of his other clients. These conversations were all on the up and up with no personal information given. He used me as a sounding board as much as I used him to talk things through. It was a great relationship.
So, it was not the type of SO treatment most go through. Never had a polygraph, a plesmo thing, etc. It was more general therapy with SO things occasionally.
Of course, due to professional issues, I can not go back to him now for a personal therapist. Besides, don't need one most days.
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
So, he should tell them that he accidentally downloaded it. Saw what it was and deleted it. That he was forced to take a plea or face more jail time. Won't he contact his PO? I mean.. He Will talk to his PO.

Still waiting to hear back from the lawyers.. who are now in court today.
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
How do we get the PO office to pay for this? I'm paying for it right now. My son has some money saved.
aladdin4d
aladdin4d
Did you find the provider on your own or did you choose from a list provided by the PO? It if was from a list provided by the PO everything should already be set up and from what I know the fee should be $25.00 per month. That's how it is for all the federal guys I know here.
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
No we picked him.. I don't really care about that part. What I care about is how my son is supposed to deal with this now.
Tell the truth or sit there for an hour and try to figure out how to not tell the truth.
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
But thank you Aladdin.. that answers that question ;)
coolrich001
coolrich001
Nako,
Don't know about now but, Tim was part of the Federal list when I went to him. As for payment, when you go to court, bring it up.
As for telling the truth, your son can always say that he is afraid of putting himself in jeopardy if he does. The therapist will think the worst. Then, he can do a "what if" making that the truth and see what the reaction is. The first couple sessions will just be both of them feeling each other out.
aladdin4d
aladdin4d
If it's one on one I have zero advice. If it's group then the focus won't be on him the entire time. The usual seems to be he'll have to introduce himself and say what his offense was but he won't have to go into details until some point in the future. Giving somebody several sessions to get used to how things go in group before being really hammered about details seems to be the usual too.
maisr
maisr
I agree with aladdin4 if it's a group meeting they won't expect much of him the first few times. Most new members don't accept their role in the crime so if it would take just a short time till your lawyer can do anything can step in they (group) will simply think he's in the majority.
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
I was thinking about calling Christopher and explaining that we're waiting for a clarification from the courts. Because the judge said he wasn't to take treatment but his PO says he needs to. And seeing if he would understand and we'd put off treatment until then.
I wish the lawyer would call me back. damn them
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
It's not a group, he's doing a 1 to 1. He doesn't want to sit in group.
Nakohichi
Nakohichi
Well.. I did it. I called the therapist , left a message because it went to voicemail. First I spoke with my son.
I told him that we're waiting for a clarification from the courts about him Not having to take SO Treatment. But the lawyer has yet to get back with us on it. My son would still come there tonite because he doesn't want to Not comply with the PO .
My son is so stressed.. to be sitting across from this guy for an hour and not knowing what to say. Still no word from my lawyers.

I hate this.
maisr
maisr
I have had both 1 on 1 and group I am just glad I only. sat through 3 meetings. I would never go 1 on 1 again in a group at least you know your not alone. I think one of the most common SO is that of downloads so I am sure there are others who did the same thing and you have different people at different levels of recovery The other members may be able to help him right now and as he advances he might be able to help others.